Midfielder Posted May 8, 2017 Share Posted May 8, 2017 2 hours ago, BOF said: **** Yorkshire terriers. Little useless shitbag dogs. They're the dog for people who don't really like dogs. The dog equivalent of someone who wants a car so they buy a CityRover. Too true. Forget the audible intrusion, just the sight of them boils my blood now. I feel uncontrollable hostility toward them. These dogs are the most yappy, arrogant little shits in the dog world but at the same time, possibly the most backward breed there is. Ruff ruff ruff. Wait let me share my specifics, high pitch ruff, then medium pitch ruff then low pitch ruff. Ruff ruff ruff. Breathe. Ruff ruff ruff. Breathe. That, on loop. Ah well, no new news here. Occasionally they do break that cycle and slip into what sounds like a very ill child with respiratory failure, for a split second I think oh good one of them is about to kick the bucket, but no it kicks back into the chorus and gets the other one in harmony like two bastard bee gees sent to earth to drive me insane. I fear, in delirium, one day I may succumb. That old addage, 'if you can't beat them, join them.' At which point, I too will be the third bee gee in harmony going ruff ruff ruff, whilst I'm sat in my garden rocking backward and forward, shaking like a shitting dog, with clumps of my hair in my hands before I go cock a leg up some lamppost and sniff a few turds. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Albrighton Posted May 9, 2017 VT Supporter Share Posted May 9, 2017 Can't remember if I've aired this one on here, but in case I haven't.... People who refer to the statue in Wolverhampton's Queen's Square as "The man on the horse/oss". It's Prince Albert. It even says it on the plinth in big letters for those who are uncertain. Additionally, whenever discussed, it's often mentioned that the sculptor killed himself when he realised the horse's legs were wrong. If there is indeed something wrong with the legs - the stance may be incorrect, as opposed to the legs being back to front or something - the sculptor, Mr Thorneycroft, died at the age of 72. Of natural causes. Nineteen years after the statue's unveiling. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharkyvilla Posted May 9, 2017 Share Posted May 9, 2017 Put a pizza in the oven to cook for my lunch, checked it 20 minutes later and realised I hadn't turned it on. I'm starving Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mottaloo Posted May 9, 2017 Share Posted May 9, 2017 After agreeing for a roofer to re-cover my garage roof in March....i hear next to fck all as to when it'll be done. I ask for a start date and get nothing back. I asked he texts me a day or so before so i can book time off work as i do 4 on 4 off shifts including nights. What happens ? I come home this morning after a 12 hr shift, go to bed and at 1pm a mad ringing at my door and i see his van outside. "Great ! He's here to crack on !" so i stumble down the stairs dressing as i go, open the door only for him to say "oiroight mate, just lettin ya know we'll be round tomorra to do ya roof !"....and then he asks was i asleep just now ? Was ?? WAS ??!??! Well i ain't now !! 4 hours kip had in time for tonight's 12 hr shift. Oh the joys Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tegis Posted May 9, 2017 VT Supporter Share Posted May 9, 2017 Those short phunney videos on FB that loops 5 times and 2 of them are in super slow motion. EFF OFF!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted May 9, 2017 Share Posted May 9, 2017 Mirrors can be horrible things at times, especially when you can't stand what's staring back at you. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted May 9, 2017 VT Supporter Share Posted May 9, 2017 Eurovision on BBC 4. It belongs on BBC1 (actually, ITV, or Channel 5, or Really). BBC4 is for arts, science and music documentaries, European cinema, that sort of thing. Stuff I like! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maqroll Posted May 9, 2017 Share Posted May 9, 2017 41 minutes ago, Rugeley Villa said: Mirrors can be horrible things at times, especially when you can't stand what's staring back at you. When my mouth is shut, I can pass for okay looking. But when I smile, it's like I've morphed into Spongebob Squarepants. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coda Posted May 9, 2017 Share Posted May 9, 2017 Cauli rice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seat68 Posted May 9, 2017 Share Posted May 9, 2017 1 hour ago, mjmooney said: Eurovision on BBC 4. It belongs on BBC1 (actually, ITV, or Channel 5, or Really). BBC4 is for arts, science and music documentaries, European cinema, that sort of thing. Stuff I like! I dont watch the semis, but eurovision is one of my yearly highlights, I will concede it should not be on BBC4. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wainy316 Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 On 08/05/2017 at 12:48, Stevo985 said: There are a lot of fans on here and at Villa Park who genuinely make me wonder why they bother. it's like they've been brought up to like football and like Villa but really they **** hate it. Agreed, but it's not just Villa. Every club is like it. It's an English thing more than a specific club thing. I wish we could be more like the Germans and bring the party to the game ourselves. My German mate was bewildered when I took him away to Preston and the fans turned on the team. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zak Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 11 hours ago, coda said: Cauli rice. i cannot agree with this at all. Cauliflower rice and Courgetti are both awesome things. They have changed the way i eat when i am on a keto (low carb) diet, which i do to cut weight for boxing. And now even when not in Keto, i do not think ill ever cook rice or spaghetti again, the alternatives are just as good and way better for you. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowychap Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 'Major incidents'. When did all of this major incident declared stuff start? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StefanAVFC Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 (edited) 56 minutes ago, snowychap said: 'Major incidents'. When did all of this major incident declared stuff start? Depends in what context In my work, 'major incident' is an important bit of terminology. Edited May 10, 2017 by StefanAVFC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rodders0223 Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 Quite warm weather, very stuffy office,afternoon dead air, very humid. Someone cracks a window open, a nice breeze flows through. Then women are putting coats and scarves on. Literally it isn't even remotely cold and just because you feel the wind doesn't mean you are now freezing or even mildly cold. Do. Me. A. ****. Favour. Love. Yeah, I said love. What of it.. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted May 10, 2017 VT Supporter Share Posted May 10, 2017 3 hours ago, StefanAVFC said: Depends in what context In my work, 'major incident' is an important bit of terminology. Major Incident is one of the finest men in the regiment. Everybody says so, from General Hospital right down to Corporal Punishment and Private Practice. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr_Pangloss Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 1 hour ago, rodders0223 said: Quite warm weather, very stuffy office,afternoon dead air, very humid. Someone cracks a window open, a nice breeze flows through. Then women are putting coats and scarves on. Literally it isn't even remotely cold and just because you feel the wind doesn't mean you are now freezing or even mildly cold. Do. Me. A. ****. Favour. Love. Yeah, I said love. What of it.. The breeze is sexist. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 2 hours ago, Dr_Pangloss said: The breeze is sexist. Air con promotes rape culture Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a m ole Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 If you're cold, wear a jumper. The worst is on a plane or train and some dickhead asks for the heating to be turned up. Make it **** unbearable for everyone else because you made a bad decision about what clothing to wear, great idea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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