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Paddy's "Things that cheer you up"


rjw63

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On 15/05/2018 at 11:57, BOF said:

In work I sometimes have salads for lunch, which include beetroot.  When I'm finished and I'm washing out the container, I get a giggle out of pouring the remaining beetroot juice into one of the toilets, because it looks absolutely disgusting :D 

Did this again today. Can confirm it's still fun.

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8 hours ago, Stevo985 said:

This reminds me of a story that was on The Luke and Pete Show (podcast) (it might be bullshit but I'm telling it anyway)

They had a policeman write in who said he was working on anti terrorism and they were monitoring a street or a bridge or something where there were some public toilets.
They spotted a man going in holding a plastic bag with something in it. He was in there for ages and when he eventually came out he had the plastic bag but it appeared to be empty.

Suspicious, so the police picked him up to find out what he was doing.

After denying he'd done anything for ages, the guy eventually realised he has to explain himself and so he confessed.

His fetish was to take a loaf of bread into public toilets, then one by one take out a slice, wipe it around a toilet seat, and then eat it.

Thats really grim! 

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1 minute ago, BOF said:

Matt Targett packed in Villa for Newcastle because we bought an upgrade in Digne. Now Dan Burn is ahead of him at Newcastle.

 

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43 minutes ago, tonyh29 said:

Eggheads tonight having a question asking what band Thom Yorke is lead singer of

 

imagine not knowing the answer to that 

Wicked throw ins

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1 hour ago, TheAuthority said:

My 3 &1/2 year old's beautiful logic.

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunderday.

Makes perfect sense and the day after Saturday in our home will forever be known as Sunderday.

My wife decided that using the theme to Happy Days was the best way to teach our son the days of the week. He memorised them all in no time, it did take ages to convince him 'happy day' wasn't an actual day though. 

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On 19/10/2022 at 18:42, tonyh29 said:

Eggheads tonight having a question asking what band Thom Yorke is lead singer of

 

imagine not knowing the answer to that 

Rory and the Delaps innit?

edit @Tegisbeat me to it. Bin Dunne.

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With the help of Youtube, one spanner, one screwdriver, one allen key and one pin I now have a working coffee machine. I am a coffee machine maintenance GOD.

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4 minutes ago, Anthony said:

With the help of Youtube, one spanner, one screwdriver, one allen key and one pin I now have a working coffee machine. I am a coffee machine maintenance GOD.

Did turning it off and on then giving it a stern clout not work?

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10 minutes ago, bickster said:

Did turning it off and on then giving it a stern clout not work?

Funnily enough, no. I called it a woke snowflake and still no dice.

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Really enjoying this drink:

  • 2 and a half teaspoons of Bisto Onion Gravy Granules
  • squeeze of tomato puree (about 1 tsp)
  • squeeze of garlic paste (about 1/2 tsp)
  • few dashes of Worcester sauce
  • couple of dashes of Tabasco sauce
  • Mix it all in a big mug with boiling water, and top with cold water to bring down to drinking temperature
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  • 2 weeks later...

So we had new windows fitted (at great expense, obviously) only 2 - 3 weeks ago.

My daughter showed us her window a couple of days ago because it had big scorch/melting marks on it.  She keeps a convex makeup mirror on there and we think it concentrated the suns rays and melted the window.  Google reveals several instances of this.

Anyway, the company who installed them came round this morning to have a look. It's literally the sealing strip that's damaged and he says he will send one of the guys round next week to mitre a new strip and fit it.  No cost!

The company are called Elite Windows is anyone is interested.  They did a good job and were very polite.  Damage is nothing to do with them but they're going to fix it for free anyway.

We thought we might be in for a couple of hundred quid or something.  Probably something just below the house insurance excess anyway.  Good day!

Edited by sidcow
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