Popular Post Dodgyknees Posted November 16, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted November 16, 2019 10 hours ago, Tayls said: Do we know if all is ok yet, please? I think we've concluded that he's taking some time out. We want to give him some space and hope he can come back here feeling better 3 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post kurtsimonw Posted November 21, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted November 21, 2019 Sorry if I caused any concern. I've just had a shit time of it lately and the Internet/social media doesn't help sometimes, so I've just been off it mostly. 23 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wilko154 Posted November 21, 2019 Share Posted November 21, 2019 Good to see you back mate! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dodgyknees Posted November 21, 2019 Share Posted November 21, 2019 1 hour ago, kurtsimonw said: Sorry if I caused any concern. I've just had a shit time of it lately and the Internet/social media doesn't help sometimes, so I've just been off it mostly. Welcome back. Missed you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ingram85 Posted November 21, 2019 Share Posted November 21, 2019 Welcome back Kurt but seriously take your time, glad you said hello but if you still need more time away from VT, social media etc... then take it and come back proper when you are fully ready. All the best. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NurembergVillan Posted November 21, 2019 Moderator Share Posted November 21, 2019 5 hours ago, kurtsimonw said: Sorry if I caused any concern. I've just had a shit time of it lately and the Internet/social media doesn't help sometimes, so I've just been off it mostly. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brumstopdogs Posted November 21, 2019 Share Posted November 21, 2019 Welcome back. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maqroll Posted January 9, 2020 Share Posted January 9, 2020 Addiction and mental illness are dance partners. It can get exhausting continuously battling to stay intact in such a **** up world. Booze and smoke make living more pleasant. But they are also a hindrance to going to the gym, clearing my head and staying fit. I have difficulty balancing fitness and discipline with booze and cannabis. I love being sober for most of the day but i also love putting a proper buzz on every night of the week too. I must sound like a true addict 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mottaloo Posted January 24, 2020 Share Posted January 24, 2020 @kurtsimonw - hope you're ok mate. If i remember correctly isn't it your "mate's" wedding this month or soon ? If you're having another break from VT and social media in general then that's cool. It would be good just to hear from you, that's all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted January 24, 2020 Share Posted January 24, 2020 (edited) @kurtsimonw - THIS PLACE WAS MUCH BETTER WITHOUT YOU, STAY AWAY! Edited January 24, 2020 by lapal_fan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A'Villan Posted January 25, 2020 Share Posted January 25, 2020 On 09/01/2020 at 18:27, maqroll said: Addiction and mental illness are dance partners. It can get exhausting continuously battling to stay intact in such a **** up world. Booze and smoke make living more pleasant. But they are also a hindrance to going to the gym, clearing my head and staying fit. I have difficulty balancing fitness and discipline with booze and cannabis. I love being sober for most of the day but i also love putting a proper buzz on every night of the week too. I must sound like a true addict I F**KING loath this SH*T. Not in an angry way, not in a judgemental way, not even in a disappointed or frustrated way. I just can't align myself with it, won't co-sign it, and will stand against it. Without knowing you, my perception of your post is that you are a relatively healthy individual. You understand the hindrance to the day should you indulge in it's earlier hours, and you understand the benefits for when you decide it's time to unwind and enjoy some time to yourself, albeit a slightly inhibited self. If you will allow me, some unsolicited advice, ponder whether it's the substance use, or the dogma and stigma that comes with, that are cause for your head to be 'unclear'. For anyone who wants to tango on that one, we're discussing a relatively healthy individual who can go without, not someone so caught up in dependency things are no longer clear. Like many healthy people, you are fallible and prone to error, you struggle at times with acquiring the motivation to commit to desired fitness goals and other disciplines, because they do not come as a match made in heaven with your substances of choice and the habits and rituals you have developed to go with. And you think you come across as a true addict. Why I ought to call the police for you to arrange a community treatment order bound by law. Things are out of hand here. Like every mister, sister, brother and mother hasn't struggled with their inner dialogue over negotiating compromises that need to be made in their day-to-day in order to achieve greater . Chin up, you sound like a chiller, imo. If you believe you can achieve. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted January 25, 2020 Share Posted January 25, 2020 My grandad is going into a care home a week Monday. He’s gone downhill very quick. Saying that he is 84, so maybe that’s why. Very sad seeing him the way he is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paddywhack Posted February 5, 2020 Share Posted February 5, 2020 My mom doesn't get on with her twin and they've had big fall outs over the years, but they keep in touch and message on facebook every now and then. They were messaging the other day and it's come to light that her depression/anxiety (I'm not sure what she has in all honesty) has got so bad that she hasn't left her house in 12 months and for a while she wasn't even leaving her living room. (I don't know where she was toileting) I'm not sure why I'm posting this really, but I've been thinking about it a lot since my mom told me yesterday, it must be absolutely horrific. A part me thinks my mom should put the past behind her and she should go visit, but then again they haven't seen each other in 6 years. I don't know if my mom rocking up would help at all. She does have a husband, four kids and several grandkids, so she's not alone at least. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leighavfc Posted February 7, 2020 Share Posted February 7, 2020 (edited) On 09/01/2020 at 07:27, maqroll said: Addiction and mental illness are dance partners. It can get exhausting continuously battling to stay intact in such a **** up world. Booze and smoke make living more pleasant. But they are also a hindrance to going to the gym, clearing my head and staying fit. I have difficulty balancing fitness and discipline with booze and cannabis. I love being sober for most of the day but i also love putting a proper buzz on every night of the week too. I must sound like a true addict Mate you are not alone, I am in a very very similar place to you. I'm sober all day at work but the minute I get home I get the weed out. I've struggled with addiction for years, I am currently in the process of trying to quit... Again! I'm trying a different method this time of gradually reducing amount I am using over a period of time before cutting out completely. I pray to god this works tbh, have had enough of relying on it to sleep, calm down and all the other stuff involved. I have a love hate relationship with the stuff, which in all honesty has a grip on me and has for a long time. One of the big reasons I havent quit so far is that I struggle with all the weight of problems and people relying on me all day every day to run their lives for them with minimal input from themselves..... Them 5 mins of peace and quiet outside on my own a couple times a night in rain, snow, sun or whatever with a Spliff is my time and my only time I get to myself. The weed is my only release, my missus doesn't listen or understand my problems so no help there and the only other person I feel confident talking too works long days out of town so is not around too much. We make sure to meet up as much as we can as he has same kind of problems as I do. I'm really struggling to keep it together at the minute. I have always bottled up my problems and I know it's not good to, but actually in my case it helps as I'm a thinker and after stewing I normally have the answer or solution I need to move on. Obviously this catches up with me at times, like now for instance. Hence why I'm here opening up, I dont really have anywhere else to turn unfortunately. Sorry for the long reply mate and the waffling just needed to speak out feeling really low today. Edit: Just wanted to add that I do have a mix of problems with addiction and depression, which one is affecting me more I'm not sure tbh. I'm starting to think there maybe more I need to do than just quitting weed. In all honesty I seriously need to think about my relationship with my partner as from my side it seems to be all s**t and not much good coming from it anymore, I'm deeply sad to say this but I think I may have to face reality and make a decision sooner or later.... I need to invest more time in myself and not just the 10% I do currently, the other 90% is spent working and sorting everybody else around me out. Edited February 7, 2020 by leighavfc 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post KentVillan Posted February 8, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted February 8, 2020 @leighavfc I'm an addict too. All these things - addiction, depression, anxiety, bad relationships - move in packs. They're like a gang of bullies who seem dangerous when they're all standing together, but smack one of them in the face, and they all start to back away. The hardest thing is working out which one needs to be dealt with first, and how to do it. Personally, when I'm trying to sort myself out, I always start with the substances, because it has the quickest impact and it's the thing you have the most control over (even if it doesn't always feel that way). And then you can start chipping away at the other issues one by one, with the slightly clearer head you'll have. When you initially quit a substance that has been part of your daily life for a long time, it's normal to go through an initial period of feeling awful. That is completely normal. Bad sleep, depression, irritability, rage, etc. Take it one day at a time. It's just your body resetting. The perception that you don't have any time to yourself is a common feature of substance abuse, because it shortens your days, and plays with your memory, and gets people nagging you and chasing you. Sobriety, even if it's just for a couple of weeks, will give you a bit more time and space to get all your ducks in a row. Once you've got through the worst of it - had at least one good night's sleep, waking up alert - then you can start trying to (slowly) deal with the difficult stuff. My personal experience is that it's not dealing with this stuff when you have the chance (physical health, mental health, life plans, relationships) that drives you back into the clutches of addiction. This is obviously complicated stuff, and everyone's different, but if you manage to get your head in a "clear space" for a bit, you could possibly think about visiting your GP and explaining your problems (they're much better at this stuff than you expect, and they've always seen worse). They might be able to refer you to a counsellor / therapist or support group. And of course there's all the 12-step programmes as well. There's also relationship counselling (which isn't just for couples - can be just for you). Some of these will be hard problems that will get worse before they get better, unfortunately. So long as you can see some light at the end of the tunnel, I think anyone can break these cycles. There are loads of success stories of people who have really hit rock bottom with addiction and mental illness, and still managed to turn their lives around. Definitely take advantage of the anonymity on here to offload problems as well. It's genuinely been a life saver for me. Chin up, and be kind to yourself. (P.S. I'm not speaking here as someone who has successfully "fixed" all this stuff in my own life, by any means... so none of the above is gospel. Just my own thoughts and experiences from multiple attempts at cleaning up my act, some more successful than others. Hope useful in some way.) 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jackbauer24 Posted February 8, 2020 Share Posted February 8, 2020 I'm going to put this in here as well as a thread in the main forum as I believe anyone viewing this will more likely understand Mental Health issues and why it is important to raise the profile of this facet of well-being. On the 28th of March I will be taking part in a 24hr Football Match for the Aston Villa Foundation in aid of Mental Health projects. If any of you would be so kind to donate to the cause it would be greatly appreciated. We will be playing at the Aston Villa Academy and this is the official arm of Aston Villa's community work. So it's Aston Villa and Mental Health, very site specific! https://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/RussellGoodman2020 and you can find more details on there about the event too. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post kurtsimonw Posted February 12, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted February 12, 2020 I feel as close to the end as I ever have. The gym was supposed to help me feel better. But despite seeing various different PTs regarding form, workouts and nutrition, I have not progressed in any way. My body fat is exactly the same. My ugly, skinny fat, body is the same. My lifts are still tiny and not progressing. It became nothing more than a source of intense stress that I would always be ugly. Socially things are as bad as ever. I've tried to improve my confidence. I've attended a few MeetUp type things, but nothing came of them. I feel I have no friendships at this point, and my romantic life is just dead. I've tried talking to women, tried online dating and dating apps again to no success. I've not been in to work since December 23rd, aside from a 4 hour return to work things this past Saturday. It was meant to be 8 hours, then a continuation from there. But I just went home at lunch and haven't been back. Despite not being in since before Christmas. I've not heard from anyone at work, it's amazing how when you take a step back you realise how little impact you have on anyone's life. I feel completely irrelevant at this point. Even things I want to do to help improve myself, I just can't. There's only one way out, unfortunately. It's just about getting the courage. 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theboyangel Posted February 12, 2020 Share Posted February 12, 2020 (edited) @kurtsimonw I’ve seen many responses to your previous posts wishing you well and whilst this forum is ‘electronic’ more than physical the number of reactions/replies more than suggests you are not irrelevant and do have an impact on others. please don’t do anything to harm yourself. Edited February 12, 2020 by theboyangel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
It's Your Round Posted February 12, 2020 Share Posted February 12, 2020 @kurtsimonw I haven’t got any profoundly useful advice for you, but just wanted to say please don’t give up. You are as valid and important a human as anybody else is, keep on going and things can change. One day you’ll look back and be amazed at how far you’ve come. Take care mate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Posted February 12, 2020 Share Posted February 12, 2020 I concur what @theboyangel said, don’t underestimate the value of your online friends on here. The fact that you feel comfortable sharing with us all, and the genuine concern and interest in your well being should not be overlooked and it’s something not everybody can rely on. I am married with 2 kids but only really have 1 mate who I see quite rarely socially. It sounds like you’re doing the right things so it’s just a matter of keeping going until something clicks into place, and it will. A special relationship with a friend or partner will be the spark I’m certain of it. We’re all here for you @kurtsimonw 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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