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What is your experience of mental health?


AstonMartyn88

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@wazzap24 Thanks for your feedback, and to the whole thread in general for sharing your angle and experiences, it's corny to say, but it's an honor to read such insights into people's inner dialogue and personal journeys. There's a lot of bullsh*t out there, and I'm sure you all know that, but it's openness and honesty with oneself and others that allows for truth and understanding to occur, and with that truth and understanding comes potential for developing a sense of direction and purpose, an ability to lead a life of self determination, perhaps. Oftentimes we can feel disconnected and conflicted with our sense of self and belonging should we have fallen on hard times, whatever that may be. Even just our coming up short in our efforts to find that truth and understanding that we desire and need in order to overcome barriers so that we can better navigate through our journey, can make you feel as though you lack worth or don't belong, as if we are not careful we might associate the feeling of disappointment about a particular moment in time, with our very existence being a disappointment. The truth is that we all belong. We are all a version of this universe experiencing itself, and that's even scientifically speaking, if it's all just matter, then we all must matter.

Today was my first day, and I didn't move any mountains, no policy was changed, there's still a problem with mice in the ward, the clinicians still promise the most basic requests will be fulfilled and yet fail to deliver because they were too busy and forgot (which ironically for some but not so humorously for me means they are actually forgetting that their job is to provide a service to people who need help, sometimes desperately, and yet they fail to help with the most basic of requests due to being busy 'elsewhere'). The place is so far from where it could be but what we did today was have a discussion, about ourselves and what makes us, us, people walking their own unique journey moment to moment and everything that comes with.

It was great. I can't really go on much more in this post (fortunately for the forum!) but the highlight for me was, I met a young man diagnosed with Schizophrenia who I offered some hope to, genuinely. The way he looked at me when I told him I had once been diagnosed with schizophrenia made me think that I'm walking a path worth paving. He was despondent and very much keeping to himself upon introduction. He was apologetic and lied multiple times about his circumstance as I tried to test the water and engage him (without wanting to intrude and over stay my welcome), anyway I'll wrap it up, by the end of it, we were discussing hopes, dreams, aspirations, and while I made him no promises for his future, the fact that I was there with the respect of the institution and the responsibility to advise on how the service should be run, in a paid capacity, got his mind ticking in ways that I could see hadn't been exercised thoroughly for a period of time. Reminding him the importance of his existence despite any stigma or ill-informed persons misrepresenting him and the way he exists was paramount in gaining this guy's confidence, because he could see that not only did I understand the difficulties and battles, but I was able living proof that there was a life beyond pathological diagnosis and treatment orders that are more like revolving doors. It might've given me a big head (and I hope people can see the post is not pure gloating), but it certainly warmed my heart.

Thanks again, your posts help shape my understanding, and the voice in which I deliver my advice to those at the head.

Edited by A'Villan
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  • 2 weeks later...

I’ve not seen anyone for a week now (other than on a screen). The OH and the little one are 70 miles away and we’ve agreed to keep our distance for the foreseeable. I was running on adrenaline with work being so busy last week but the thought of this going on for months on end is pretty miserable. I’m fairly self-sufficient (being somewhat of an introvert) but for those that rely on social interaction, this must be horrific. 

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47 minutes ago, choffer said:

I’ve not seen anyone for a week now (other than on a screen). The OH and the little one are 70 miles away and we’ve agreed to keep our distance for the foreseeable. I was running on adrenaline with work being so busy last week but the thought of this going on for months on end is pretty miserable. I’m fairly self-sufficient (being somewhat of an introvert) but for those that rely on social interaction, this must be horrific. 

Gotta be better than being stuck in a trench in France, with constantly wet hobnail boots on though, right? 

"this too shall pass".

Get some structure in your day and it'll help with the blues. :thumb:  keep going! 

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Just now, lapal_fan said:

Gotta be better than being stuck in a trench in France, with constantly wet hobnail boots on though, right? 

"this too shall pass".

Get some structure in your day and it'll help with the blues. :thumb:  keep going! 

100%. It’s all about keeping perspective. 

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7 hours ago, choffer said:

I’m fairly self-sufficient (being somewhat of an introvert) but for those that rely on social interaction, this must be horrific. 

Same. I'm quite well prepared being a miserable anti social word removed so I think i'll be fine but some of my work colleagues are struggling already. We have daily video calls to keep peoples spirits up. 

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8 hours ago, choffer said:

I’ve not seen anyone for a week now (other than on a screen). The OH and the little one are 70 miles away and we’ve agreed to keep our distance for the foreseeable. I was running on adrenaline with work being so busy last week but the thought of this going on for months on end is pretty miserable. I’m fairly self-sufficient (being somewhat of an introvert) but for those that rely on social interaction, this must be horrific. 

Have you left the house at all? Tomorrow is my first day working from home. I’m not looking forward to it, but needs must. I’m going to use my “commute time” to walk round the local park. Will do the same at lunch time and again my “commute” home. It will help me break up the day and stop me working through the evening 

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22 minutes ago, mikeyp102 said:

Have you left the house at all?

Driven into the office twice, late, to make sure I don’t have to interact with anyone. Done two shifts at Samaritans. Other than that, nope. 

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On 23/03/2020 at 11:41, choffer said:

I’ve not seen anyone for a week now (other than on a screen). The OH and the little one are 70 miles away and we’ve agreed to keep our distance for the foreseeable. I was running on adrenaline with work being so busy last week but the thought of this going on for months on end is pretty miserable. I’m fairly self-sufficient (being somewhat of an introvert) but for those that rely on social interaction, this must be horrific. 

Same boat here. I lived alone for years, and to be honest at times I'd started to resent giving up so much of my time and space at home, and missed the old single days of basically just slobbing around at home playing games. 

Now it's out of my hands, I'm pretty **** miserable. I've been symptomatic for a couple of days, so literally not leaving the house for another 5 days, then another 2 weeks minimum, (realistically 5+ I guess) before I can actually see another person. Minimum 3 months before I'm likely to see my other half again. 

I know it's a crap time for almost everyone, not just me, but living alone through this is particularly rough. We'll cope, but it's going to be **** awful.

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lots of skyping ahoy, the like is an expression of sympathy, not in a "haha" way obviously. 

from a perspective point of view, just remember channel 4 interviewed terry 'kidnapped, mock executed, tortured and held in solitary confinement for 4 years "waite for tips on coping in isolation. That's not meant to undercut those struggling y, which is of course genuine and real,  more meant as a bit of light relief vis C4's chronic over-reaction.

 

 

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53 minutes ago, Davkaus said:

Same boat here. I lived alone for years, and to be honest at times I'd started to resent giving up so much of my time and space at home, and missed the old single days of basically just slobbing around at home playing games. 

Now it's out of my hands, I'm pretty **** miserable. I've been symptomatic for a couple of days, so literally not leaving the house for another 5 days, then another 2 weeks minimum, (realistically 5+ I guess) before I can actually see another person. Minimum 3 months before I'm likely to see my other half again. 

I know it's a crap time for almost everyone, not just me, but living alone through this is particularly rough. We'll cope, but it's going to be **** awful.

I feel you, brother. Sounds almost exactly like my situation - although my symptoms seem to be just starting. 

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After the knife attack on me and the stabbing of a family member a day later, my stress levels were heightened, add COVID-19 to the mix and I had my first issue with overwhelming thought processes and feelings as if the world was on my shoulders, as I tried to make sense of it all. I did the sensible and confided in professionals, as well as loved ones.

Just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.

Unfortunately I've been diagnosed with Chronic Paranoid Schizophrenia which essentially puts a rubber stamp on my forehead, and allows anyone who's interested in doing so to be dismissive of my aptitude to discern things as they are, as a consequence of having a chemical imbalance in my brain, and a tendency for delusional thinking. This frustrates me.

Under this pretense my whole being is undermined, that's undeniably true but not necessarily apparent. I don't resent it. I only want to explore it so that what is true may come to light. Breathing life into a voice that speaks with authority and unquestioned understanding on my existence to deem me 'mentally ill' only serves to pathologise, and whether you like to acknowledge it or not, whether you've thought about it to this extent or not, also serves to create a power imbalance.

I am fallible, as are you.

And so, I don't blame clinicians for misrepresenting the greater truth about the people they deal with. At age 30 I have lived well over 250,000 hours. I have spent a few dozen hours sharing my limited perspective and understanding on what has transpired in that time to people (clinicians). Likewise these clinicians have had only a few dozen hours to accumulate their own limited perspective and understanding of my own unique existence (and that's assuming they have the intellect to avoid pigeon-holing people in accordance with their academic jargon and knowledge).

I have taken some time off my work in mental health, only because I need to be sure I am of service. My oh my, I/we have a lot that can be done.

I believe heart and mind, we all deserve to be chess players and not simply chess pieces, because the intellectual struggle belongs to us all.

When I return to work, which will be in a week, I will remember that, like in chess, I can't undo the moves or mistakes, but I can look to make better choices, and alike, when I see a good move to be made, I look to make a better one, until time is up. I will also endeavour to remember, that whilst considered weak, a pawn never backs down, and only moves forward.

Edited by A'Villan
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Seems like I've chosen the wrong time to come off my meds. 😆

Spent the last 5 weeks gradually coming off sertraline.  Been fully off them for over a week now.  Now self isolating whilst living alone with probable covid. Breathing issues, fatigue, chest pain etc. 

Not seen my daughter for over a week due to the covid.  Lonely, ill and slightly anxious. It's been a challenge, but hopefully, "this too shall pass". 

✊

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tough times mate, but you are doing the right thing in isolating- presumably you've been video calling as much as you can? 

This too indeed will pass. Have you got a routine you can focus on to distract you mentally?

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1 hour ago, Jon said:

...Not seen my daughter for over a week due to the covid.  Lonely, ill and slightly anxious. It's been a challenge, but hopefully, "this too shall pass". 

✊

It will Jon. Take care buddy.

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