Xela Posted October 25, 2019 Share Posted October 25, 2019 (edited) 2 hours ago, kurtsimonw said: I've gone to work this week simply only because I'm already going to be down on my pay at the end of the month to cover my bills. Even then I haven't been in every day. It isn't even stressing me out. I feel like what's the point? I have a job so I can afford a house and food. So I can spend all day at work to come home alone and survive, repeat over and over. 33% of the country could say that! Mind you a lot of people would give their left arm to be in your situation - job, own home, etc. You've done well for yourself at your age mate, you should be proud of that. Have you seen After Life, the Ricky Gervais show? Some of the things you say remind me of that. He was mourning the loss of his wife and was very much of the same mindset as you. Thinking everyone else has it easy in life and what is the point of everything. What i'm trying to say is, probably poorly, is that everyone has struggles but its how you react to them, is what defines you. You're a good lad and a lot of people on here are rooting for you mate. With your brother, how is he different to you would you say? Edited October 25, 2019 by Xela Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kurtsimonw Posted October 25, 2019 Share Posted October 25, 2019 1 hour ago, Xela said: 33% of the country could say that! Mind you a lot of people would give their left arm to be in your situation - job, own home, etc. You've done well for yourself at your age mate, you should be proud of that. Have you seen After Life, the Ricky Gervais show? Some of the things you say remind me of that. He was mourning the loss of his wife and was very much of the same mindset as you. Thinking everyone else has it easy in life and what is the point of everything. What i'm trying to say is, probably poorly, is that everyone has struggles but its how you react to them, is what defines you. You're a good lad and a lot of people on here are rooting for you mate. With your brother, how is he different to you would you say? I am proud of that, but it doesn't really make a difference to how I feel. As much as it's nice to be able to say I have my own home, there are 3 differences between now and when I lived at my parents. I'm alone more. I have less money. I have less time to do things. I'm not suggesting having a job and a house is a bad thing, I'm saying what's the point of them? I feel like I'm working towards nothing, I'm just existing. Most people at work, sure they work to live and keep their house, etc. but they also go away with their partners for weekends away, just go to a nice restaurant, go on holidays, they actually get to enjoy life and that's what I'm missing. I have tried. I've felt this way since struggling with friendships in high school. It's not like I haven't made an effort. I've also been unlucky with friends moving hundreds of miles away. But when I do make an effort, it's often for nothing and I ended up feeling worse than I did before. Trying to develop friendships when it's only one sided, trying to get dates or meet women only to be rejected. I've been told I'm a decent, friendly, guy. Yet the reality nobody seems to want to spend time with me or be around me. There has to be an issue there, it can't be 16 years of bad luck and bad timing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ingram85 Posted October 27, 2019 Share Posted October 27, 2019 (edited) Your happiness is inextricably and imo wrongly linked to having a partner but are you actually putting yourself in a position to be able to meet someone? Are you on dating sites? Going out on meet ups? Joining groups? Hobbies and interest groups? If you are just staying in and not doing anything then you wont meet anyone and yeah, while it's not great, you will need to do this on your own and for yourself and it will be awkward and difficult as **** to begin with. I'm sure you know all this and are sick of hearing it but it's important to reiterate that you are at a low ebb, friends and family have their own lives to live and probably arent in a position to help you with this and you have to do this yourself. When I was single I went out for countryside visits on my own, went to seaside on my own, went to retro collector meet ups on my own, out for a pint on my own, out for a coffee/lunch on my own etc... and it's difficult at first but you get used to it, you start chatting to people slowly but naturally more and more each time, you arent going to meet anyone unless you put yourself in social situations. What have you got to lose at the end of the day? In your situation its vital that you put yourself in social situations even if for a few months you're too awkward or nervous to chat or interact with anyone. Edited October 27, 2019 by Ingram85 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted November 4, 2019 Share Posted November 4, 2019 Hows it going @kurtsimonw? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A'Villan Posted November 6, 2019 Share Posted November 6, 2019 @kurtsimonw During our discussions I have some insights that I'll share here.. I have been reminded that any advice or perspective I give another for the betterment of someone else's life is only as good as it sounds to the person it's directed toward. Simply giving my version of what's happening and why or how it should be different, is nothing more than a personal expression, and could be seen as unsolicited or condescending. You have a remarkable intelligence and logical mind. I think the latter, despite your evident talent and knack for using it, can cause you some headaches though. I say it seems to cause you headaches simply because, you can identify clearly what reasons there are for a belief, and in doing so strengthen the bond to that belief, as you go. Reasoning is taking what is given to us, comparing it with what was understood already, and coming to a conclusion. It's only as good as the quality of detail we have to go with. It's a reflection of what we know and what we can ascertain. A wonderful ability to have. And you have that ability in abundance. It's a sure sign of intelligence. For me, and I must stress I'm just shooting the breeze here, it's also very healthy to be able to say, "I don't know", because a lot of the time we aren't privy to it all. "Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited, whereas imagination embraces the entire world, stimulating progress, giving birth to evolution" - Einstein This quote is because I want you to dream bigger than the current climate and circumstances you find yourself in. Don't assume that's all there is to it. "There is nothing noble about being superior to your fellow man, true nobility comes from being superior to your former self" - Ernest Hemingway This one is because I am of the thought that this is your journey and you can define it and add meaning to it for yourself. But also, the word 'competition derives from Latin and actually means "to search together for self fulfillment" and there is nothing inherently or innately unkind about it. At its root, competition is about searching out your best through the help of your peers! It's about connection and not divorce from each other and the world that we belong to. I think you may find a greater sense of spiritual growth and well-being if you begin to allow yourself to be loved. Being loved is not having a light constantly shined on our inadequacies. We have discussed the idea of self-love being integral to a better quality of relationship on here before, please excuse me if I sound like a broken record with this next analogy.. If we are told what it is like to be burnt, regardless of how elicit and descriptive the words are, is it the same as actually experiencing the burn firsthand? Answer that for yourself. No one can give you the sensation of the burn, if you haven't already experienced it for yourself, and that is why knowledge is limited to experience. "Just because something works, doesn't mean it can't be improved" - I forget but pretty confident words of a Black Panther This last quote is my way of asking, do you want to do what you are good at for the rest of your life? Or do you want to do something that challenges you at every moment? Asking questions leads to a greater capacity for details to be absorbed and answers to be discovered, but giving answers does not improve our capacity for asking questions. Congratulations on having your own place to stay, it's not your fault the price to pay is so high for most. Good on you for being so independent, that's a great asset for relationships. I hope it becomes more than merely a house, even if that's all it is at the moment, and becomes a home full of memories for you. The main purpose for my posting today though is not to berate you with suggestions as to how to live your life better. It might seem that way. Because honestly I think you have a lot going for you already, but one thing you are not, is conceited, and that's great, if you were you'd the type that thinks they have all the answers. And you certainly aren't someone like that, you engage others, their opinions and input, and you are forthright with your own, even if it's not what people want to hear. That takes guts and a sense of self. A man who wants to lead the orchestra must turn his back on the crowd. The world is pretty bleak as it is, don't assume you have to be too. Personally I just wish you'd give yourself some credit where it's due and allow yourself to feel like you're worthy, because you are. This is a journey and no one deserves to experience yours more than you. You don't have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great. You don't have to reason that, especially not with logic that is the epitome of divorce from belonging, and tainted with self hate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xann Posted November 7, 2019 Share Posted November 7, 2019 My friend's Mum had to disarm his stepdad after he pulled a gun on his telly because he couldn't get Netflix to work. Dementia, Texas style. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8pints Posted November 7, 2019 Share Posted November 7, 2019 I find this video interesting. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ingram85 Posted November 7, 2019 Share Posted November 7, 2019 Anyone got kurt on twitter or other social media just to see if he's logged in or active or anything as last VT login was 11 days ago. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A'Villan Posted November 7, 2019 Share Posted November 7, 2019 (edited) 2 hours ago, Ingram85 said: Anyone got kurt on twitter or other social media just to see if he's logged in or active or anything as last VT login was 11 days ago. Ditto this, would be nice to check in with Kurt, he's an interesting guy and I really wish him well. Edited November 7, 2019 by A'Villan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted November 8, 2019 Share Posted November 8, 2019 11 hours ago, Ingram85 said: Anyone got kurt on twitter or other social media just to see if he's logged in or active or anything as last VT login was 11 days ago. 9 hours ago, A'Villan said: Ditto this, would be nice to check in with Kurt, he's an interesting guy and I really wish him well. Yea I thought about him the other day. I've just found his twitter account (sorry for snooping..) and his last tweets were October 27th as well.. I'm only guessing this is his twitter https://twitter.com/kurtsimonwAVFC , but it's mostly Villa and NFL, which is where Kurt posts most on here. Hoping it's a holiday, or just getting away from the internet for a while.. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wilko154 Posted November 13, 2019 Share Posted November 13, 2019 Anyone heard from @kurtsimonw ? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ingram85 Posted November 13, 2019 Share Posted November 13, 2019 (edited) Bit worried about this if I'm honest, is there anything we can do? VT send his IP address onto the Police? See if they can do a safe and well check? @limpid Edited November 13, 2019 by Ingram85 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted November 14, 2019 Share Posted November 14, 2019 (edited) 15 hours ago, Ingram85 said: Bit worried about this if I'm honest, is there anything we can do? VT send his IP address onto the Police? See if they can do a safe and well check? @limpid I went through hundreds of his tweets, looking for any evidence of where he worked etc. I've tried linked in using search terms like Simon W, location Birmingham (although he's from Telford I think.. but you can't search on that in linked in). He works as an accountant somewhere I found nothing (I was doing it in works time too, which didn't help). Be great to hear from him I blame AC Milan being shit.. (we're both fans). Edit. I'm not sure if limpid is able to give that information to anyone either.. If anyone knows his location and name (what does the w stand for) then we could report him as a missing person maybe? His last twitter activity was October 27th. Edited November 14, 2019 by lapal_fan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AVFCDAN Posted November 14, 2019 Share Posted November 14, 2019 He's in a new build in Lichfield isn't he? I remember when he posted about it someone else on here said they would ne neighbours shortly. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted November 14, 2019 Share Posted November 14, 2019 7 minutes ago, AVFCDAN said: He's in a new build in Lichfield isn't he? I remember when he posted about it someone else on here said they would ne neighbours shortly. Yea, sorry Lichfield! Dunno where I got Telford from.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NurembergVillan Posted November 15, 2019 Moderator Share Posted November 15, 2019 I just came into this thread to see if he'd made an appearance. As a moderator, obviously we have access to additional information compared to regular posters but as of now I know nothing more than any of you guys do. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StefanAVFC Posted November 15, 2019 Share Posted November 15, 2019 Been doing some sleuthing. It's [edited]. I'm from Lichfield so I'll do some digging. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StefanAVFC Posted November 15, 2019 Share Posted November 15, 2019 I've got something. Can we take it to PM? Please PM me if you want to help. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dodgyknees Posted November 15, 2019 Share Posted November 15, 2019 Bloody hell @kurtsimonw let me know if you want to chat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tayls Posted November 15, 2019 Share Posted November 15, 2019 Do we know if all is ok yet, please? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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