What is your experience of mental health?

[MCU]

Don't post very often on here but needed a vent.

Started a new job back in May, and it was something I thought I'd never land in my life (good pay, benefits, pension, career opportunities etc). Coming off the back of many minimum wage jobs which I disliked, I was ecstatic and truly believed I was set.

However, said job isn't what it's been cracked up to be. It's got to the point now where it's destroying my mental health. I've already taken 2 weeks signed off sick, then on the third week I'd booked a holiday away which was ruined by the thought of me going back to work. I was literally waking up counting the days when I should have been enjoying myself.

I've gone back in this week to try and speak to my manager and discuss how I feel, but the best he's told me was that by the company's protocol he had to refer me to occupational health (who I still haven't heard from yet) and to carry on seeing my Doctor. I woke up practically feeling sick this morning from the anxiety. 

Anyway, I've decided enough is enough and I'm going to hand in my notice tomorrow. I've managed to get my docs to sort me another sick note if they want to get funny about working my notice. 

I'm lucky enough to have some savings stashed away until I get my shit together. I just know my family are going to be so disappointed in me and the added pressure of telling them is crippling! 

 

[Rugeley Villa]

43 minutes ago, MCU said:

Don't post very often on here but needed a vent.

Started a new job back in May, and it was something I thought I'd never land in my life (good pay, benefits, pension, career opportunities etc). Coming off the back of many minimum wage jobs which I disliked, I was ecstatic and truly believed I was set.

However, said job isn't what it's been cracked up to be. It's got to the point now where it's destroying my mental health. I've already taken 2 weeks signed off sick, then on the third week I'd booked a holiday away which was ruined by the thought of me going back to work. I was literally waking up counting the days when I should have been enjoying myself.

I've gone back in this week to try and speak to my manager and discuss how I feel, but the best he's told me was that by the company's protocol he had to refer me to occupational health (who I still haven't heard from yet) and to carry on seeing my Doctor. I woke up practically feeling sick this morning from the anxiety. 

Anyway, I've decided enough is enough and I'm going to hand in my notice tomorrow. I've managed to get my docs to sort me another sick note if they want to get funny about working my notice. 

I'm lucky enough to have some savings stashed away until I get my shit together. I just know my family are going to be so disappointed in me and the added pressure of telling them is crippling! 

 

My wife is going through something very similar. She’s not mentally fit to work at the moment in which was supposed to be her dream job. Your post is exactly what she’s going through at the moment. 

[Xela]

3 hours ago, MCU said:

I'm lucky enough to have some savings stashed away until I get my shit together. I just know my family are going to be so disappointed in me and the added pressure of telling them is crippling! 

I know you think that but the reality is they will care more about your happiness and well being than they do about the job you have. Tell them the reasons why you are leaving and i'm sure they will be very supportive. Good luck! 

[Xela]

@kurtsimonw I can't add much more to what has already been said by others but i'm posting simply to agree with them. This guy does not seem like a friend. Pull out now. 

Can I ask why he has asked you to be best mann considering the way he is treating you? 

[Vive_La_Villa]

4 hours ago, MCU said:

Don't post very often on here but needed a vent.

Started a new job back in May, and it was something I thought I'd never land in my life (good pay, benefits, pension, career opportunities etc). Coming off the back of many minimum wage jobs which I disliked, I was ecstatic and truly believed I was set.

However, said job isn't what it's been cracked up to be. It's got to the point now where it's destroying my mental health. I've already taken 2 weeks signed off sick, then on the third week I'd booked a holiday away which was ruined by the thought of me going back to work. I was literally waking up counting the days when I should have been enjoying myself.

I've gone back in this week to try and speak to my manager and discuss how I feel, but the best he's told me was that by the company's protocol he had to refer me to occupational health (who I still haven't heard from yet) and to carry on seeing my Doctor. I woke up practically feeling sick this morning from the anxiety. 

Anyway, I've decided enough is enough and I'm going to hand in my notice tomorrow. I've managed to get my docs to sort me another sick note if they want to get funny about working my notice. 

I'm lucky enough to have some savings stashed away until I get my shit together. I just know my family are going to be so disappointed in me and the added pressure of telling them is crippling! 

 

Do you know why the job is making you feel that way? Environment? People? The work?

[MCU]

33 minutes ago, Vive_La_Villa said:

Do you know why the job is making you feel that way? Environment? People? The work?

Literally all 3 mate. I’ve always done manual labour type work but this has made me realise I need a career change. 

[Vive_La_Villa]

8 minutes ago, MCU said:

Literally all 3 mate. I’ve always done manual labour type work but this has made me realise I need a career change. 

Yeh get out of there then. Health comes first.

[peterms]

10 minutes ago, MCU said:

Literally all 3 mate. I’ve always done manual labour type work but this has made me realise I need a career change. 

Can you say what the job is, what about it is stressful, and which previous jobs you liked?

[peterms]

Long thread which may be of interest.

 

[kurtsimonw]

12 hours ago, Xela said:

@kurtsimonw I can't add much more to what has already been said by others but i'm posting simply to agree with them. This guy does not seem like a friend. Pull out now. 

Can I ask why he has asked you to be best mann considering the way he is treating you? 

I've really no idea. It seemed like we were becoming good friends, but then since my breakup things changed. Maybe he always been shit and I hadn't noticed because I was a bit happier myself. 

 

20 hours ago, StefanAVFC said:

Blokes are shit.

I barely see my best mates anymore but it isn't because they don't like me, it's because they don't really see anyone.

This guy sounds like a dick, but you're a sound guy Kurt. Don't let him treat you like shit.

Thanks mate. 

I will just have to try and phase him out in the new year. I can't do confrontation and have a baseline anxiety even when I'm okay. Sometimes even on here I worry I might have said something to bother someone, or that they would dislike me because of something I've said. It's probably weird, but ultimately I can't help how I feel and it's shit, it's hard to meet new people as a result. Definitely feel like I'm doomed to be that friendless, single, loser and it's really not a nice thought. 

[StefanAVFC]

1 minute ago, kurtsimonw said:

I've really no idea. It seemed like we were becoming good friends, but then since my breakup things changed. Maybe he always been shit and I hadn't noticed because I was a bit happier myself. 

 

Thanks mate. 

I will just have to try and phase him out in the new year. I can't do confrontation and have a baseline anxiety even when I'm okay. Sometimes even on here I worry I might have said something to bother someone, or that they would dislike me because of something I've said. It's probably weird, but ultimately I can't help how I feel and it's shit, it's hard to meet new people as a result. Definitely feel like I'm doomed to be that friendless, single, loser and it's really not a nice thought. 

Mate you'll never be friendless. We live in an age where you friends you make on places like here are just as important as the ones you meet in person.

Next time I'm back home in Lich, let's go for a pint.

[Skruff]

34 minutes ago, kurtsimonw said:

I will just have to try and phase him out in the new year. I can't do confrontation and have a baseline anxiety even when I'm okay. Sometimes even on here I worry I might have said something to bother someone, or that they would dislike me because of something I've said. It's probably weird, but ultimately I can't help how I feel and it's shit, it's hard to meet new people as a result. Definitely feel like I'm doomed to be that friendless, single, loser and it's really not a nice thought. 

Telling your "friend" no, might be a empowering experience for you, even if you dread it beforehand. 

It sounds like you suffer from a lot of automatic negative thoughts. This article might be worth a read. 

https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/stop-automatic-negative-thoughts

[rjw63]

17 hours ago, MCU said:

Don't post very often on here but needed a vent.

Started a new job back in May, and it was something I thought I'd never land in my life (good pay, benefits, pension, career opportunities etc). Coming off the back of many minimum wage jobs which I disliked, I was ecstatic and truly believed I was set.

However, said job isn't what it's been cracked up to be. It's got to the point now where it's destroying my mental health. I've already taken 2 weeks signed off sick, then on the third week I'd booked a holiday away which was ruined by the thought of me going back to work. I was literally waking up counting the days when I should have been enjoying myself.

I've gone back in this week to try and speak to my manager and discuss how I feel, but the best he's told me was that by the company's protocol he had to refer me to occupational health (who I still haven't heard from yet) and to carry on seeing my Doctor. I woke up practically feeling sick this morning from the anxiety. 

Anyway, I've decided enough is enough and I'm going to hand in my notice tomorrow. I've managed to get my docs to sort me another sick note if they want to get funny about working my notice. 

I'm lucky enough to have some savings stashed away until I get my shit together. I just know my family are going to be so disappointed in me and the added pressure of telling them is crippling! 

 

I wouldn't quit just yet.

What length of full sick pay are you entitled to? make the most of whatever it is first, you might be sorted by the time it runs out.

Edited October 11, 2019 by rjw63
typoski

[KentVillan]

On 01/10/2019 at 11:06, villa89 said:

Well I might as well put this here as I feel suicidal (*again). It looks like I've lost a lot of money with carstore that I won't be able to get back. Buying a new car was supposed to cheer me up after having a miserable year so far. Instead it's gone tits up and it's close to pushing me over the edge. Too many tears, too many sleepless night, no happiness, no joy only bloody misery day after day. I have realised that I don't actually live life, I just exist. The problem is that my existence has really become a hardship with worries about money, job, accommodation so I have to ask myself how much longer I can continue. Hopefully I can find the balls to end it all like my uncle did a few weeks ago. Sick of it.

Just wanted to check how things were going?

I would really recommend the resources here: https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/debt-help-variant/

I used to suffer from really bad debt anxiety, because I thought I was trapped in a vicious cycle, and didn't realise how many ways there were of getting it under control. I know it can be a very bleak feeling when you're in the middle of it, but there is help available, and once you're on the right trajectory, the emotional burden starts to ease.

[MCU]

6 hours ago, rjw63 said:

I wouldn't quit just yet.

What length of full sick pay are you entitled to? make the most of whatever it is first, you might be sorted by the time it runs out.

As I haven't been there long (about 6 months) I am entitled to 22 days full pay (I've already taken 12 days of it).

Notice period is 4 weeks (same as my sick note), so 2 weeks of that will be full pay, then it's half pay for the remainder. 

[MCU]

18 hours ago, peterms said:

Can you say what the job is, what about it is stressful, and which previous jobs you liked?

I work for a utilities company, and the job brings with it a lot of responsibility.. working on a network which supplies shit loads of customers. The guy I directly work with is sound, we started together, but the people around us are piling the pressure on expecting us to excel straight away. I've tried riding it out, speaking to people inside and out of work about it and but nothings changing, if anything it's getting worse.  

Regarding previous jobs, this is really I've all I've known as I used to work for a contractor for said company, doing something slightly different but still out in a van driving miles every day and didn't really dislike that. I'd love to pursue something completely different to prove if I'm either a) in the wrong career or b) just a lazy bastard that doesn't like working

In all seriousness though, I'd like to try something I used to enjoy back in my school years... coding or web development of some sort.

[peterms]

1 hour ago, MCU said:

I work for a utilities company, and the job brings with it a lot of responsibility.. working on a network which supplies shit loads of customers. The guy I directly work with is sound, we started together, but the people around us are piling the pressure on expecting us to excel straight away. I've tried riding it out, speaking to people inside and out of work about it and but nothings changing, if anything it's getting worse.  

Regarding previous jobs, this is really I've all I've known as I used to work for a contractor for said company, doing something slightly different but still out in a van driving miles every day and didn't really dislike that. I'd love to pursue something completely different to prove if I'm either a) in the wrong career or b) just a lazy bastard that doesn't like working

In all seriousness though, I'd like to try something I used to enjoy back in my school years... coding or web development of some sort.

If it's a fairly big company, presumably there's an HR department, distinct from the occupational health service?  If so, it may be worth speaking to them, to see if there's any chance of a move to another role, and failing that, to agree an exit other than just walking out without approaching them, so that you have a chance of a reference that might be more positive than otherwise.  That might help a little when applying for other things, and it would show an attempt to find a managed outcome to an unacceptable predicament, which you can present as more constructive than just quitting.  An HR person may also be able to offer some suggestions about other things you might be better suited for.

[Xela]

3 hours ago, MCU said:

I work for a utilities company, and the job brings with it a lot of responsibility.. working on a network which supplies shit loads of customers. The guy I directly work with is sound, we started together, but the people around us are piling the pressure on expecting us to excel straight away. I've tried riding it out, speaking to people inside and out of work about it and but nothings changing, if anything it's getting worse.  

How is the other guy getting on? Is he experiencing the same feelings? 

[MCU]

24 minutes ago, Xela said:

How is the other guy getting on? Is he experiencing the same feelings? 

Not quite as much as me (I don't think), but he's the sort of guy that won't stand up for himself! I always feel like I'm the one doing the talking.

[MCU]

2 hours ago, peterms said:

If it's a fairly big company, presumably there's an HR department, distinct from the occupational health service?  If so, it may be worth speaking to them, to see if there's any chance of a move to another role, and failing that, to agree an exit other than just walking out without approaching them, so that you have a chance of a reference that might be more positive than otherwise.  That might help a little when applying for other things, and it would show an attempt to find a managed outcome to an unacceptable predicament, which you can present as more constructive than just quitting.  An HR person may also be able to offer some suggestions about other things you might be better suited for.

I appreciate this, but it feels as if I've already made up my mind. I just hope I don't look back in 10-15 years and regret not going down the avenue you said. Right now, I just want out. The job is not me at all.