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kurtsimonw

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About kurtsimonw

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  • Birthday 21/09/1987

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    Lichfield, England

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  1. I have anterior pelvic tilt, plus my lower back isn't all that strong, so it is almost always in pain as a result of APT. stuff like squats and deadlifts would be damaging. I don't really know what a programme is, but I've had advice on what to do on what days, which is generally push/pull/legs. I lift a weight where I'm burning out in the 8-12 range. If I manage the 12, I'll up the weight. Unfortunately I haven't been able to up the weight that much. I've tried doing more reps at a weight I can manage easier, but that just doesn't increase strength or make my current weight any easier. So if I'm stuck hitting my targets, I get a bit trapped. I've tried lifting heavier for less reps, but again it doesn't help at my current weight. People often tell me to increase everytime I go, but I can't lift what I can't lift. I don't k know if it's a genetic ruing or what. My shoulders seem to take the bulk of everything. Anything that involves pushing, if I put the weight up, my elbows are ****. I'm really lost with it at this point and my desire to keep going is getting close to breaking point. 5 months is a lot to put in to something, I've seen people go through someone drastic transformations in less than that. I've essentially stood still. Infuriating.
  2. 5 months now, with barely noticeable progress. I track my calories and macros. My gym days and rest days I have about 3 meal plans each, so I know I'm not cheating or anything because at this point I know what I need to eat each day. I don't do deadlifts or squats because of my back, but surely these aren't 100% necessities to build muscle and get stronger? I still can't do a pushup, I try a few times a week and I don't know if it's having longer arms or what, but my elbows just give in. The same goes for almost all chest exercises. I never feel anything in my chest. It's like my shoulders always take the weight and if I try and increase the weight, my elbows just can't deal with that weight. I've asked the PTs a few times just to let me know if my form is off, but apparently it's not. I've taken progress pictures and I didn't look at them for 3 months. I didn't notice anything day by day, but I figured that when I look at the pictures properly after 3 months I'd notice a big change. I would say there is very minminal gain on my biceps. Then fatty gains on my chest. It's intensely disheartening. I feel like I've put so much in to this over the past 5 months or so. It was a nice mental escape for me to feel that this is the one thing I have control over to improve myself, and it hasn't worked.
  3. Sorry if I caused any concern. I've just had a shit time of it lately and the Internet/social media doesn't help sometimes, so I've just been off it mostly.
  4. Eh? 63%, 133 TDs and 70 picks since 2014. Theyre certainly not amazing numbers. But it's not 5 TDs and 11 picks over half a season bad either.
  5. At this point you have to go with him IMO. Same with the Giants, Eli is clearly the better player and the better option to win, but Jones' game time is more valuable. On the subject of benching. How many QBs have played half a season as bad as Mayfield and kept their starting job?
  6. Clippers depth is crazy. And they're doing this with a top 10 player to come back.
  7. World at War and BO1 will forever be the best because their ttk was great. Even the much hated MP40 killed slower than pretty much every gun in every other COD.
  8. I am proud of that, but it doesn't really make a difference to how I feel. As much as it's nice to be able to say I have my own home, there are 3 differences between now and when I lived at my parents. I'm alone more. I have less money. I have less time to do things. I'm not suggesting having a job and a house is a bad thing, I'm saying what's the point of them? I feel like I'm working towards nothing, I'm just existing. Most people at work, sure they work to live and keep their house, etc. but they also go away with their partners for weekends away, just go to a nice restaurant, go on holidays, they actually get to enjoy life and that's what I'm missing. I have tried. I've felt this way since struggling with friendships in high school. It's not like I haven't made an effort. I've also been unlucky with friends moving hundreds of miles away. But when I do make an effort, it's often for nothing and I ended up feeling worse than I did before. Trying to develop friendships when it's only one sided, trying to get dates or meet women only to be rejected. I've been told I'm a decent, friendly, guy. Yet the reality nobody seems to want to spend time with me or be around me. There has to be an issue there, it can't be 16 years of bad luck and bad timing.
  9. A defeat, but Kyrie put up 50 points and had 0 turnovers. That's absolutely insane from a primary ball handler. He's so fun to watch. Can't wait until KDs on the court with him.
  10. Still the same. I've gone to work this week simply only because I'm already going to be down on my pay at the end of the month to cover my bills. Even then I haven't been in every day. It isn't even stressing me out. I feel like what's the point? I have a job so I can afford a house and food. So I can spend all day at work to come home alone and survive, repeat over and over. If that's what life is going to be for me, then I genuinely don't see the point. It's a lonely existence. My brother had a break up a few months after me. He's been on 6 or 7 dates with a few girls this past month. Happy for him, but it's hard to see and I do feel like a complete loser as a result.
  11. Not been in to work this week and unlikely to change. Before I go to sleep my anxiety kicks in hard, I'm sweating and my heart is pounding, there's no way I can get to sleep. Around 5:30am I drift off and then I'm exhausted when my 7:00 alarm goes off and my anxiety hits again. I don't really see a way out of how my life is. I see things so easy for others around me, and I am stuck in this hole of loneliness and depression. Doctors, therapists, medication... nobody and nothing can just change that. I just feel nothing. I'm not even sad, I don't cry. It really feels like game over.
  12. I think it's a win for the Rams. They're likely to be back end 1st rounders anyway and Peters has gotten blown up a bit anyway, they need a Ramsey.
  13. Free kick? Never seen it, or heard of it, before
  14. All things considered, can't complain.
  15. I've really no idea. It seemed like we were becoming good friends, but then since my breakup things changed. Maybe he always been shit and I hadn't noticed because I was a bit happier myself. Thanks mate. I will just have to try and phase him out in the new year. I can't do confrontation and have a baseline anxiety even when I'm okay. Sometimes even on here I worry I might have said something to bother someone, or that they would dislike me because of something I've said. It's probably weird, but ultimately I can't help how I feel and it's shit, it's hard to meet new people as a result. Definitely feel like I'm doomed to be that friendless, single, loser and it's really not a nice thought.
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