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      Just visiting?   27/12/16

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Found 97 results

  1. Hello all, As I am not really wanting to Break up with a girl I thought I would start up this thread. I have been seeing this girl for a couple of months. She is funny, beautiful and I really like her. She has an 23 month old son from a previous relationship who is amazing too. Her previous relationship was very violent physically and mentally and ended when her ex husband threatened to burn the house down with her and the baby inside. She lives on high alert and always has a bag packed by the door in case he finds her. No one, apart from immediate family, is allowed to know where she lives (although she has told me). She is hoping that her ex will move back to Sierra Leone in a few weeks (from what she has heard). My issue is quite selfish...... I really like this girl and her son but I am worried that her previous relationship means that I have to be 'whiter than white' and I am always on my guard around people she knows. Her family is very protective (understandably!!!) and as such when I met them last weekend it was kind of like going for an interview. I just want to relax with her but I always feel like I am walking on egg shells around those who know her. I dont want to be held up as the 'saviour of her perceptions of men' and equally I don't want to be judged by her family to this degree. It just seems really early in a relationship with all this heavy stuff. On the flip side she is fantastic. What do I do?
  2. What is your experience of mental health?

    Following the success of Bedlam on Channel 4, I thought it would be interesting to get people's perspectives on mental health problems, particularly as at any given point 1 in 4 people will experience a mental health problem in their lifetimes. FWIW I have not experienced a mental health problem but I work in the field and find the stigma to be the worst thing, particularly in terms of stopping people looking for support
  3. The Careers/Jobs thread

    VT - I'm stressing, and I really could do with some sound advice from knowledgable people! I'm 25, working in recruitment, but I have hit a bit of a wall. I'm thinking I do not want to be working within this arena anymore. I don't have a degree, which limits me massively as far as I am concerned because every job I see they want someone of 'degree calibre'. I have never known what I wanted to do, I just drifted through school and got myself 10 GCSEs then took a couple of A-levels with the intention of going to uni. I had a place confirmed but then was offered a full time job, which I took. I have absolutely no idea of what to do with my life, I have so much ambition and desire to succeed, but god knows what in. It's stressing me out more now because the missus wants to buy a house etc and I am a little worried about losing my job for whatever reason and then not being able to find anything else. Does anybody have any sound advice to give, or know of any opportunities within the Nhants, oxfordshire or Buckinghamshire areas that might be coming up? Ironic really considering I work in recruitment eh? Thanks all.
  4. Viewing / Buying a house

    Hello all! Off to view a house tonight, (scary stuff!), and as its the first one I've liked enough from a quick peruse of Rightmove to go and see its my first proper house viewing. I wondered if any of my fellow VT'ers have any advice on the house viewing / buying process? Cheers!
  5. Tax pay on two jobs

    I’ve recently taken on a second job, and dropped a day on my other job. I am now working 4 days one job and 3 the other. Is there a good way of balancing my tax onto one job, is this possible? also, I know we have a personal allowance of 11,000, but I am wondering how much more I will get taxed due to a second job. Can anybody advise?
  6. Gardening

    Calm down Morpheus, not that kind of gardening. Don't think there's a thread on here for gardening, so I'm starting one! Somewhere to throw ideas around, ask for advice, show off etc I'm not a keen gardener, but I need to take some interest as I have a large garden with potential, but it is currently useless as I don't do anything with it bar mowing the grass. So here's the advice I'm after. Half of my garden is grass, which is fine. I mow it. The other half (the bottom half) is overgrown at the moment with weeds, briars, long grass etc. What's the best plan of attack for this? My thoughts were to borrow a strimmer and get it all cut down, and then hire a rotavator and dig up the ground, then replant the grass (just basic grass seed) Will that work or will the weeds come back with the grass? Could go for turf but it's more expensive and I'm in no hurry so can afford to wait for the seed to grow. (I realise this is a really boring thread, but I need advice so worth a try! )
  7. VT'ers Dieting Thread

    Hi. Couldn't see a thread for this so started this one. This thread is for anyone who wants to lose some weight and for anyone to share nutrition tips / their diets / recipes. If anyone wants to join me then tag along in the thread. Personally, I had my gallbladder out in Feb and ever since have had crazy changes in appetite and am gaining weight very quickly (2 stone since Feb). I'm going to keep this entirely secret from friends, family and colleagues and just get on with it but thought I'd see if anyone else wants to shake off their ego (and stick two fingers up), and admit they want to lose a few pounds and with support in this thread, do something about it and commit to it. If not , let's bury this thread and pretend me Midfielder, have the body of Cristiano Ronaldo and this thread never happened. Me: Age- 38 Height- 5'10" current weight- 13 St 13 lbs target weight- 11 St 5 lbs (35 lbs to lose) target weight loss per week- 3lbs initial ETA on target- 11 weeks Dangerous thing to do to set a target ETA as well the summer is here, BBQs and beers etc and well, some exercise bolted on to dieting might add muscle (resistance training for example) and skew the weight loss target... so things to consider but a prelimary ETA set just to see out of interest how much this veers over the next few weeks. There, that's my commitment anyway. Anyone else want to "sign up" or is it a case of
  8. Basically... I have started a new website up where I live. This website is a dark variation of a primary colours. Another website uses a much brighter version of this colour for their logo and website. 90% of my website is actually white and on social media it is all purple. Anyway, what I was doing was known about where I live and an email was sent to those who run this other website about 2 months in advance. Now, 1 hour before launch (no kidding!) I got an email suggesting I should change my colour (I know colours can't be a copyright issue) and they have been on my back since. Apparently they have had many people get confused, thinking my website is a spinoff of theirs ) logos and design are nothing alike) happy to share the two sites via PM for anybody who wants to see. Got another email today, demanding I change the colour as it is too similar. So, I am putting the colours here and can you tell me if you think they are too similar? Thanks y'all.
  9. When your car gets clamped

    So i wake up on a monday morning walk to my car and notice my gfs cars been clamped for no apparent reason It was on a main road no parking restrictions, yellow lines, resident parking. Road tax has been paid, mot and insurance. So i see no reason why she has been clamped. I havent rang them yet as i am still angry and i might say something i regret. Any ideas also know how you can appeal this as its different from when you get a ticket. Thanks peeps
  10. Birmingham Swimming

    There are a lot of areas where a move back to Birmingham has trounced London with quality of life, and it's been a positive step after years of dealing with the 'pig-in-lipstick' that is London. However, swimming pools aren't clicking here. I can't really understand what I'm looking at/for. For instance - all of the many London pools are run by an independent company on behalf of the government. At least 70% of these pools have been renovated in the past 5 years and are absolutely sparking clean. I am very wary of pools - grim tiles, mould, minging water- all of these will make me totally freak out. So, what are we left with for more casual swimmers? Well, Cocks Moor Woods has kids taking dumps in it and has been closed 3 times in the last year alone. Moseley Road baths, what's left of them in pool number 2 looks absolutely disgusting. As far as I can see, that leaves the new-ish Harborne Pool and then extremely expensive memberships at the Marriott Five Ways (ouch), University of Birmingham's new 50m pool (still expensive, looks amazing though), the Spa at the Cube (ouch) and Edgbaston Priory Club (not even worth considering because of how elitist the prices are). Elsewhere it's Virgin Active at Solihull and another membership place there. What gives with this? Is Birmingham just an anti-swimming city or wat?
  11. Knee replacement

    Been told I need a total knee replacement - anyone on here had this done and how are you feeling now ? any advice welcome - I'm aware it will involve a lot of rehab afterwards .
  12. Uploading images to VT

    I am unable to post pics or gifs on VT from my phone, despite them being below the maximum length/size. Haven't changed phones recently and had been able to post successfully on here from the phone but now i get "there was a problem uploading..." message. Havs any other VTers had this problem or am I on a blacklist
  13. Selling property

    Need some advice. I have a buy to let flat that I am in the process of selling which I bought last year. When I purchased it I paid ground rent for the year ahead. I have been paying service charges regularly as well. The sale has nearly gone through but I received a letter from the freeholders solicitor stating that the ground rent of £150 for 2017 was due Jan 1st. Apparently they have sent 2 different letters to the flat but I had no idea because they have not been forwarded on to me by the tenant or the managing agent. Now the £150 bill is £800 as they have added admin and legal costs. I stupidly assumed that the company in charge of the service charge was in charge of collecting ground rent. I had given that company my forwarding address but had not contacted the freeholder with my forwarding address. The solicitor is refusing to budge and reduce the charges as they are stating they sent everything to the address they had on their system. I am annoyed that I haven't been forwarded any post by the tenant but I understand ultimately it's my responsibility. Any idea how I can get them to waive charges or at least reduce it?
  14. Sometimes I consider taking a year off the internet. I think I might really like it.
  15. Delivery Problems

    So guys what happens if the post office lose your package admit to it but then tell you, you need to claim the refund from the company who you purchased the item from? They said I will then have to be refunded by them and then the company puts in a claim against royal mail? I have got in contact with the company but they are ignoring my emails and have no number to call on their website. I paid by debit card as well on this occasion not card. what can i do? Have I lost my money?
  16. The Tradesman's Entrance

    That's got your attention, you filthy devil! I was going to start a thread asking for some help with double glazing, as my parents need a full set of new windows installing at their house in Kidderminster so thought I'd check on VT and see if anyone was in that line of work. Then, I figured I can't be the only one who would like to keep local Villa-supported firms in business so decided this could be VT's answer to Checkatrade. So, first request - any double glazing pros here on VT that want some business in the next few weeks?
  17. Anybody got an answer to this? My mother in law sent me a text this morning, saying grandparents cannot look after grandchildren for more than 15 hours, or they will get fined... is this for real?
  18. Big Think - This may be a worse case scenario generally, but I actually think some industries job losses will be even more acute. I'm currently working with people developing systems that will put many thousands out of work. So if you think it's shit now, how do you think Tory England (cos let's face it, Scotland's leaving) is going to deal with this? We must surely also add May that is trying to right royally screw up education for the poor, just to hammer in an even bigger wedge between the haves and have nots. The medium and long term picture for the majority is a race for the bottom as far as quality of life is concerned. Sticking two fingers up at this failing society and getting out of it becomes more attractive with every passing year. Especially with independently developed technologies improving all the time. A growing number of my friends are seeking alternatives. A few are proper hippy types in permaculture collectives and such. Another is raising a family in a yurt. This isn't quite as drastic as it sounds. It's a multi yurt, a large central space with smaller connected yurts - Think glamping more than camping. Others have moved to warmer climes and have installed solar power equipment. They grow much of their own food and trade with local farmers for dairy and meat products. They work in the UK over Summer to cover their bills such as N.I contributions. Another friend is making a 'Hobbit House' under a hill - Though I must admit her outside toilet gives me the fear! She should have an inside bog at some point. Her guest house is nearer completion. Visiting folks over Christmas it became obvious even friends earning good money were wanting out. I signed up to a couple of off grid collectives and it surprised me how much has been forgotten. For example it's possible to grow Mediterranean fruit further north in walled enclosures, as they create their own microclimate. Throw in a couple of polytunnels and you're starting to get towards being self sufficient for fruit and veg. Mixing the old and the new seems like the way to go. Septic tanks under the garden that break down effluent into nutrients that slowly pass through the walls of the tank and into your garden. These folks get a quite a bit of power out of a fairly small pipe. Apologies to Darren and the Tree Hugger thread. I'd discussed this with maqroll before, and I don't think you have to be a tree hugger to want something different in today's World.
  19. Moving to Basel in July and would be good to meet up with some fellow Villa fans, will prob attend a few FC Basel matches too but will definitely head home to watch some Villa games too. Looking also for some local 5 or 7 aside footy to play and of course a decent bar where the footy will be on. Any advice etc please PM me and if keen to meet up then let me know, cheers Steve
  20. Selling a house

    Anybody have any advise or information on selling a house without using an estate agent? Having never bought or sold a house before, I don't really know the ins and outs of what an estate agent does, but say I had a potential buyer already how easy is it to avoid paying estate agent fees?
  21. PCP Question

    Hello Gents, So basically I after months (if not years) of agonising over new/used, brands, models etc. I have just walked into my local dealer and nearly broken him negotiating my new Audi A5 Sportback. My question is...as I spent so long haggling the base price, extras etc. I fell into the bloody trap of the crappy insurances they push on you at the very end...I consider myself to be fairly savvy with a good dose of cynicism about salesmen but for some reason I fell for £699 Gap Cover and £399 Alloy wheel cover....DONT ASK ME WHY. I almost felt sorry for him as i'd gotten a deal even better than carwow (car broker site) until then. The paperwork won't be arriving until later on but I have paid the initial £1k deposit. Can I pull out of these insurances now or will they make life hard for me? I've found the same 2 insurances for £210 combined and feel like a total lemon. I'm sure the salesman will be annoyed which I don't care about but can they go back on the 9% discount they've given me in addition to the 'Audi Deposit Contribution'? Thanks.
  22. Snow Watch!

    Morning, snow fans! Well it looks like the first white stuff of the year is coming. Is that good or bad? I was going to drive to Brum from London today but bugger that, not with what I'm watching get closer here
  23. Tablet buying advice, please

    OK. I'm thinking of buying the missus a 10" for Christmas... Tablet, that is. After the recent fiasco we had with a failed Win 10 installation that buggered our main 'living room' laptop, we've been using my music production laptop instead, and I want it back in the mancave. I was thinking that a 10" tablet would probably be a better idea than another laptop. Main uses would be web browsing, email, social media.. But also the very occasional bit of word processing (writing letters, etc.) I was thinking of going Android as we both have Android phones, but I'm wondering about compatibility with our older files (MS Office stuff mainly). Max budget £400, but preferably cheaper! First thoughts were a Galaxy Tab S or a Google Nexus 10. Thoughts, guys?
  24. Pranks & Vengeance

    image hosting no sign up You do realise dont you, that what unfolded in the Jack Grealish thread recently was just a mini-prank... dihydrogen monoxide (and hydroxic acid) is literally water. Nobody got sucked into that one did they ? That scored a 0.001/10 on the prank-o-meter. That dihydrogen monoxide crap, I fully unleashed on my workplace and had people literally in sheer panic about the "hydroxic acid spillage in the kitchen by the sink", the sign on the toilets about the "dihydrogen monoxide leak" all sorts. Nobody even googled it, just panicked. These people are so gullible, i need more, and better! Let's form a repository for sharing best practice when it comes to all things prankage and vengeance. I want to hear your "greatest hits" of sweet payback or unprompted wind-ups, and not just the "best ones" but the ones that meant the most to you, and why... from the home, the workplace, the pub, the ground, school, college, uni anywhere...
  25. The VT writers cove...

    Any writers here? We've got a readers digest thread, but I wondered if we have any writers here? I have four books on the go, with another 3,200 in my head. Ouch. Currently working on a book for kids, one for teens and one that would interest adults.. I better not get bits mixed up, I'm not sure Tommy, aged 5, will want to read about a young girl who sets up her teacher, kills him, then goes missing. So, writers, throw those pens in the air... .NOW!