mjmooney Posted November 9, 2018 VT Supporter Share Posted November 9, 2018 34 minutes ago, Stevo985 said: Even stuff like quiz shows. "Geoff, tell us a bit about yourself" No. No geoff, don't. I don't give a ****. Tell us your name, age and job and get the **** on with the show. So, Steve, tell us a bit about yourself. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted November 9, 2018 Share Posted November 9, 2018 3 minutes ago, mjmooney said: So, Steve, tell us a bit about yourself. I can answer that with 100% accuracy and 100% certainty. "Well, HI THERE EVERYONE IN SUTTON LMAO!! My name's Steven and I drive an Audi" (audience claps) "Woah Steven, lovely, what do you do?" "Well Bill, I drive an Audi", (audience claps) "Haha, Steven, I meant for a living" "Ha ha, oh silly me (hits self in the head), well Bill, I like driving my Audi" (audience visibly concerned at the vegetable of a human they are looking at, a few distant cries) "Ok Steven, try and think of anything you do?" "MY WIFE WORKS AT ALDI!" "Steven.. please.. no more about the Audi.." "I SAID ALDI!!!" "I KNOW WHAT YOU FECKIN DRIVE YOU EEJIT!" 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted November 9, 2018 VT Supporter Share Posted November 9, 2018 8 minutes ago, lapal_fan said: I can answer that with 100% accuracy and 100% certainty. "Well, HI THERE EVERYONE IN SUTTON LMAO!! My name's Steven and I drive an Audi" (audience claps) "Woah Steven, lovely, what do you do?" "Well Bill, I drive an Audi", (audience claps) "Haha, Steven, I meant for a living" "Ha ha, oh silly me (hits self in the head), well Bill, I like driving my Audi" (audience visibly concerned at the vegetable of a human they are looking at, a few distant cries) "Ok Steven, try and think of anything you do?" "MY WIFE WORKS AT ALDI!" "Steven.. please.. no more about the Audi.." "I SAID ALDI!!!" "I KNOW WHAT YOU FECKIN DRIVE YOU EEJIT!" You're in love with me aren't you? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted November 9, 2018 VT Supporter Share Posted November 9, 2018 36 minutes ago, blandy said: Says some random bloke on the internet And if the BBC were broadcasting my opinion to the world I'd be criticising them too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyh29 Posted November 9, 2018 Share Posted November 9, 2018 1 hour ago, Dr_Pangloss said: Question Time. They ask the audience for their opinions more than ever, no one is tuning in to hear want the average dullard in the audience wants to say, FFS. if we stopped asking the audience on QT the Tory thread would lose about 600 pages of people moaning about Gammon faced people on QT ... assuming Blandy didn't delete it first of course but I do wonder what sort of person wants to go on national TV and voice an opinion on politics that is almost certainly not going to reflect well on themself , Politics is for this forum only , never on Facebook , or real world 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyh29 Posted November 9, 2018 Share Posted November 9, 2018 4 minutes ago, Stevo985 said: And if the BBC were broadcasting my opinion to the world I'd be criticising them too! I'd be switching over to ITV Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StefanAVFC Posted November 9, 2018 Share Posted November 9, 2018 (edited) You missed ‘I have a girlfriend’ Edited November 9, 2018 by StefanAVFC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted November 9, 2018 Moderator Share Posted November 9, 2018 2 hours ago, Wainy316 said: I can't believe how vocal some people are on the crapper. Sometimes it needs to be coaxed out with sweet nothings and then congratulated/encouraged when it hits the water. All while rubbing your belly in a clockwise circular motion. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Albrighton Posted November 9, 2018 VT Supporter Share Posted November 9, 2018 2 hours ago, Dr_Pangloss said: This is it, you pay 'experts' or at least people in prominent and influential positions to give their views, spending half the program talking to clueless idiots seems to defeat the purpose. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
choffer Posted November 9, 2018 VT Supporter Share Posted November 9, 2018 15 hours ago, Xela said: Some monster at work yesterday In a new swanky HQ now and the building is great... toilets are cleaned multiple times a day so no toilet horrors to report (down to @Chindie to keep us appalled now). Anyway, about 6pm yesterday I decide to take a work place dump... there are 3 cubicles in each set of toilets... I stroll in and the middle one was occupied by someone. A complete breach of shitting protocol in my eyes. You never use the middle trap or urinal if they are all empty. You use an end one so if someone else comes in they can use the other end and still maintain at least 1 pot/crapper space. Prick. Everyone knows the rules. You pick the left one or the right one but never the middle one. Then you have a think and decide that if everyone knows the rules and picks right or left, the middle one get seldom use. So, what you can divine from that is that lefty and righty have been filthed-up countless times and mr middle is clean as a whistle. I'm going middle every time. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post chrisp65 Posted November 9, 2018 Popular Post Share Posted November 9, 2018 When I was faced with the dilemma of a three trap toilet block, I thought to myself 'what would Voinjama do?' It was shortly after that I fell through the suspended ceiling. 5 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blandy Posted November 9, 2018 Moderator Share Posted November 9, 2018 53 minutes ago, chrisp65 said: When I was faced with the dilemma of a three trap toilet block, I thought to myself 'what would Voinjama do?' I'm pretty sure choosing "number two" is what he'd do. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rodders Posted November 9, 2018 Share Posted November 9, 2018 film times at cinemas during the week scheduled for 5pm - 5.10pm, where the next available time after that is 8.50 or something. F**king stupid for anyone wanting to catch a film after work. There's been a couple of films where I ended up not bothering with as the timings were so unhelpful ( 9.20 on a sunday evening for the only showing ffs ). Sometimes cinemas don't help their own industry. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Troglodyte Posted November 9, 2018 VT Supporter Share Posted November 9, 2018 8 hours ago, StefanAVFC said: I got on the tram, holding my phone, reading something on my commute. Some guy in front of me isn't looking where he's going at it, elbows my phone out of my hand. It goes flying and lands face down. I'd be pissed off too if a bloke was going at it on a tram. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unused Sub Posted November 9, 2018 Share Posted November 9, 2018 8 hours ago, StefanAVFC said: I absolutely should be pissed off at this and I'm now sat at work absolutely seething. I got on the tram, holding my phone, reading something on my commute. Some guy in front of me isn't looking where he's going at it, elbows my phone out of my hand. It goes flying and lands face down. I pick it up, screen smashed to bits. I show him what he's done. No apology, nothing said to me. Goes and sits down, gets his own phone out and gets on a call. I mean, what the actual **** Yes it's an accident. But to not even apologise? I now have to shell out x amount of my own money to fix a phone I didn't even break and that I didn't even get an apology for breaking. The lesson to be learnt here, put your phone away on public transport and enjoy the local scenery! 1 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisp65 Posted November 9, 2018 Share Posted November 9, 2018 1 hour ago, Troglodyte said: I'd be pissed off too if a bloke was going at it on a tram. probably thought he was on a tug Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted November 9, 2018 Share Posted November 9, 2018 (edited) 1 hour ago, Unused Sub said: The lesson to be learnt here, put your phone away on public transport and enjoy the local scenery! He lives in Poland, so he'd only be looking at this; Edited November 9, 2018 by lapal_fan 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rodders0223 Posted November 11, 2018 Share Posted November 11, 2018 £45 for a PS4 controller and I didn't even get a USB cable with it. ...I have a million of them, but that ain't the point. Robbing bastards. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted November 11, 2018 VT Supporter Share Posted November 11, 2018 22 minutes ago, rodders0223 said: £45 for a PS4 controller and I didn't even get a USB cable with it. ...I have a million of them, but that ain't the point. Robbing bastards. It’s about £80 for a Switch controller! The Switch is a great bit of kit but the accessories for it are extortionate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Wainy316 Posted November 11, 2018 Popular Post Share Posted November 11, 2018 When blokes talk to me about cars with the assumption that I know anything about them other than they are a means of travelling quickly. 9 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts