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Rodders last won the day on November 4 2017

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  1. When you're winning every week, you don't get tired. All the players will be buzzing. Keep momentum and only rest as absolutely necessary.
  2. There's so much positive stuff you're doing from the sound of things, and definitely DO BE SOCIAL with your colleague. It's an excellent opportunity As for football and film not being direct links into meeting women - they don't have to be, but never downplay what's important and makes you tick. A good partner will love / mock affectionally what gets you going. My partner is baffled by cricket, and she mocks it, but will go along and watch games, but she would do that if what I liked doing was morris dancing at midnight. ( well, maybe ) Listening to someone discuss their interests with enthusiasm is engaging and attractive. So, not saying you were doing that, but just inc ase you feel that it's a hnderance to meeting people, it isn't. Liking film will always give you that option of sharing your interests, by suggesting films you like, and assuming you don't confine your interest to some weirdly specific niche genre like 'angry cellists stomping ants' that is always a positive hobby. But yes, it will feel shit for a while, how long that lasts varies. But being aware that it is a process, that does have an end I hope can make it seem less endless and miserable. But doing the gymn and being social and all that will help - time will pass and your focus will be taken up by new people - and new targets - 'you're going to aim to achieve target x in the gymn over the next month' etc. So Keep doing the positive stuff, and accept it will take a bit of time, but the more you focus on doing other stuff, the quicker that time passes. And on your ex, do remember any healthy relationship should never require hoop jumping. You want to feel that "power" is fairly equal, and that you wouldn't want to be at the beck and call of her. That's just not healthy, believing that changing yourself to meet the assumed desires of someone else ( whoever that maybe, including as yet unnamed future dates ) won't work, but if that flicker of hope is getting you out there, then great, let that flicker drive you on, just have it in the back of your mind, that this driving you on, should be primarily to get you feeling good about yourself. Best of luck though, and enjoy the sun!
  3. I was terrified by my emotional state after my first relationship break up. I was about 25 or 26, and all I had was this awareness of the powerlessness I felt in the face of an overwhelming sadness and insecurity. I was shocked that I felt so 'de-anchored' by it all for a few days I feared I might kill myself. I didn't trust myself at all not to do anything stupid. I couldnt live alone. The emptiness of the place, the imposing large walls just screamed "Alone" at me in a way I had never experienced before.This sensation of loss, I presume bears some parallels to a grief for a close loved one. The degree to which I found this new feeling was so alienating and overwhelming, it was as my friend would later tell me, proof that I had actively lived and engaged with the world at that rawest level. It was horrible, but it came to be, over time, a really formative experience in how I came to approach life. Yes, you can end up putting up a bit of a protective shield against feeling that way again, but also, I did get past it, and I did find my attitude to dating had matured a bit. You learn to put your interests more forward and be accepting of what you want. For me, I decided to learn a musical instrument. That only lasted about 6 months but I just got lost in absorbing a new activity, it gave me a sense of fulfilment and development when I needed it most. It was a distraction but it was all about what I wanted to do. By doing that it also told me that I could find those rewarding experiences on my own. That romantic entanglement wasn't the only way to find those ends. It sounds to me that this break up loss is hitting you seriously hard, and I totally understand that feeling. All I can offer again is the encouragement as others have said to just focus on activities that can give you pleasure and fulfilment. There are also meet up groups, I've used them before, which can be a great way of finding some other forms of companionship in the short term. Maybe it's just a set of folk meeting up for a weekly pub quiz or a film club social. But that can be a way of meeting new people, without the romantic element overshadowing the experience.
  4. Completely forgot it was Easter really as house viewings has dominated spare time lately. 3 more in for today, spending the day in Caerphily mostly, and then wondering if we can find a magic combo of nice place to visit on Monday that also will not appeal to crowds of other people.
  5. correct call > wrong ones every time.
  6. Evening chaps. God kvall, god kveld, gott kvold! ( excuse the absent accents ) So my partner and I are going aim to do a a scandi-tour towards the end of the year, going for 2-3 weeks as a big trip before family planning next year buggers everything up. I've done a bit of Sweden before, but any recommendations for slightly different things to do. The only definite activity desired from her indoors is the Northern Lights, that's pretty much why we're heading that way, a bit excessive for one admittedly very pretty night sky, and so google suggests Tromso is good for this. Has anyone ever been up that way and is there other stuff to do? We're aiming for a mix of outdoors and culture, city and nature if we can. It would be roughly late october - november time.
  7. break ups are always complicated and moving on to a place where you can re-find friendship is tricky. There are often the best of intentions, but the reality is that in re-orienting a relationship questions or concerns will float up about how a new dynamic begins. She may well think it's too difficult to view you as just a friend, certainly right now - 2 months is still a short time - or she may worry that being friendly might inspire some misplaced hope in you that the relationship can be saved. You might immediately disagree and say that you know the relationship is over, rationally, I'm sure you know that, but emotionally transitioning from what appears to have been an intense time ( certainly from your end ) to a looser form of friendship requires effort and patience, and being in a mental place to do that can take a long time. And relapses of emotion are so utterly standard, normal, part of the process please don't try to be anything other than compassionate to yourself in that respect. Everyone oscillates, some more wildly than others, in response to emotional changes. It very well might not happen - this friendship thing. That's a harsh reality. But she may also be thinking the best thing is to wait until you get in touch? A vague message saying something like "Hey, how are you? Not sure where you are in terms of wanting to meet up, and but if you do feel like a coffee at some point, just to catch up for 30 minutes, let me know, but I respect it if you'd rather have space for now, all the best " would be ok It did take time, but you DID find someone. You've also got that monkey off your back and you CAN DEFINITELY do it again. There ARE other fish! I know it sucks, and many of us have been in that dark place of loneliness, of simultaneously wanting and not wanting to move on. At the moment that anticipated 'other life' of a potential 'other partner' seems clouded and unclear but it IS there. As lapal says, I think you've got to learn to love yourself a bit more. That doesn't mean becoming some cocky bellend, but adjusting away from a sort of defining happiness solely by whether you're in a relationship. Obviously life is more fun with people in it, to share experiences, but it isn't everything, though I accept it may very well feel like that right now, and it is always easier to give cheap advice from a more stable position! I know this is all easier said / written. Enjoy your passions and try something new now and then, just for your own personal sense of curiosity and enjoyment. Put the longer goal of meeting new people for relationship purposes to the back of your mind for a moment and just try and embrace some general activity, ones where you can build up social confidence. I mean, I apologise if I'm under-selling you mate, but you seem a bit down on the self-confident thing. If you don't want to see a therapist, that's ok, but finding an outlet you can get yourself lost in, and absorbed by the focus of an activity, whether it's running, modelling, games, preferably with other people, might help. Sorry if this is missing the mark and all that, I don't know you other than what you post on here, maybe you feel you've already tried everything, but the bottom line is you're not alone in feeling this way, and there is always a way out somewhere. First steps, find a way to be kind to yourself. You're worth more than you think you are.
  8. No point dwelling too much on buying him unless we get promoted. We can cross that bridge then. For now he's a young developing striker who's scored plenty for us, and yes could have scored even more. Instead of reflecting on chances missed, surely consider the prospect of development with more coaching and experience. He's done a great job for us, and personally, although the season is near its end I'd only consider resting him if we have secured 5th spot and can't go higher or lower.
  9. I am at least confident that should we make the final, we won't put in a pathetic performance like last year though!
  10. There may be more than a grain of truth in there, and I'm sure this generation of young things or protesting students, aren't the first to be incoherently and inconsistently angry by causes. It's not the anger at the perceived injustice that annoys me obviously, frustration is natural, but the heavy handed attitude. I suppose twitter etc just make it ( like other things ) seem so much more prevalent, and ubiquitous than perhaps it actually is.
  11. taking opinions by rote from whichever critic du jour seems to influence them, being too eager not to displease and be ahead of the next "flashpoint" by pre-emptively deciding something hitherto inoffensive is no longer the case. Having said opinions without even seeing / reading the original subject, an example recently is the film Green Book. I have a colleague who has decided Green Book is an Unacceptable Film, despite the fact she hasn't seen it because of all the chatter about white or black perspectives, which is **** retarded. The way that deviating from any other line than some arbitrarily determined "consensus" seems to make these needy insecure folk, leap to shout No Platform rather than consider that maybe a conversation is fine or accepting there are ambiguities or no easy answers. See the vocal nonsense surrounding trans issues .Graham Linehan is pretty good at highlighting the morons involved here. It's the general, narcissistic push to want to be seen to be saying The Right Thing, and the idea that if you don't agree, it's because YOU ENDORSE THE PATRIARCHY, FASCISM or some other hyperbolic nonsense. Flippancy seems be outlawed - people assume malign intent, instead of thinking someone might have been jokng. There is no presumption of innocence. It's all attack. Someprofessor says something a bit un PC but hardly evil, and the mob will cry for his sacking Perfection is the only acceptable state for these sort. Wearing a tacky shirt in front of the cameras, SHAME HIM, SHAME HIM, REDUCE HIM TO TEARS. The Jon Ronson book on this is quite good. OK, that element is a more social media rant, rather than some specific fault of any one political grouping. Yes, these are broad strokes and generalisations, or just some examples, not every young person is like this etc etc, but, and admittedly this qualifier may be true - I may take too much notice of twitter, facebook etc - there is a chronic anxiety abut discourse amongst some on the left who act like they cannot hold differing views from their peers. It's the environment that encourages the cult of personality - Corbyn being an example- getting some of them to acknowledge the lord JC may not be perfect or a good leader, is like getting blood from a stone, and is then met with border line conspiratorial suggestions that this is what "they" want. This mysterious "they". ( Perfectly ok to accept Corbyn does operate amid an antagonist right wing press / establishment culture, but equally it's fine to say he's a crap leader, but I like the drift of some of his policies, not necessarily the detail, but the direction in which he would like to shift the emphasis )
  12. Friends stag do today, a largely restrained day really with not much boozing but had a lovely measure of Lagavulin 16 year single malt this evening. So nice.
  13. It is one of a raft of intensely stupid attributes this "new left" for want of a better phrase seem to adopt. Being offended by everything. Humourless idiots who seem to micro analyse everything yet still never notice concepts like, context, nuance, or irony as well, to branch the lament out a bit further. culture has always been appropriated and it is a good thing.
  14. Erm, if you're concerned about things OTT in season one, I have some bad news...
  15. Take advantage of Kodja's brimming with energy and start him, alongside Tammy. Whelan in for Hourihane. Assume Kortney in for Mings.

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