AVFC_Hitz Posted December 16, 2021 Share Posted December 16, 2021 2 minutes ago, Eidolon said: They don’t approve of me solely because I’m trans. Do you think it was the large poo you left on their collection of Alf Stewart embroidered hankerchiefs? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Silvers Posted December 16, 2021 Share Posted December 16, 2021 6 minutes ago, Eidolon said: They don’t approve of me solely because I’m trans. ******* ***** 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Davkaus Posted December 16, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted December 16, 2021 Bigotry aside (I know, risky way to start a post), I really don't get the mentality of parents who think they have a right to have a say on who their adult children have a relationship with. I can understand not *liking* them for one of any number of reasons, including being a throbbing bigot, but at worst I could imagine voicing concerns and then letting them make their own decision. Throwing your kid out of the house though? It seems to happen all too often and I just can't understand it. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YouUnastanFren Posted December 16, 2021 Share Posted December 16, 2021 14 minutes ago, Davkaus said: Bigotry aside (I know, risky way to start a post), I really don't get the mentality of parents who think they have a right to have a say on who their adult children have a relationship with. I can understand not *liking* them for one of any number of reasons, including being a throbbing bigot, but at worst I could imagine voicing concerns and then letting them make their own decision. Throwing your kid out of the house though? It seems to happen all too often and I just can't understand it. The older I get the more I realise that when it comes to the unconditional love parents have for their children there is a dismaying portion of the population for whom the 'un' is silent. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobzy Posted December 16, 2021 Share Posted December 16, 2021 19 minutes ago, Davkaus said: Bigotry aside (I know, risky way to start a post), I really don't get the mentality of parents who think they have a right to have a say on who their adult children have a relationship with. I can understand not *liking* them for one of any number of reasons, including being a throbbing bigot, but at worst I could imagine voicing concerns and then letting them make their own decision. Throwing your kid out of the house though? It seems to happen all too often and I just can't understand it. As someone with 2 young daughters, I genuinely think they could tell me absolutely anything* and I’d be there to support them. The other way I just do not understand. * - Not literal. They can’t be killing anyone. Well, maybe some… Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy Lifeboats Posted December 16, 2021 Share Posted December 16, 2021 1 hour ago, Eidolon said: They don’t approve of me solely because I’m a transwoman. My advice still stands. I could easily be the father of a 25 year old daughter. It wouldn’t matter why I didn’t like you. You’d go up in my estimation if you tried to resolve it. Especially if you did so because you want them to still have a relationship with their child. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post chrisp65 Posted December 16, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted December 16, 2021 4 hours ago, Eidolon said: They don’t approve of me solely because I’m a transwoman. Based on not knowing you or them or any back story and based on knowing there are always a minimum of 3 sides to every story: Their baby daughter is in a non traditional relationship. Those parents, aged whatever they are, 40, or 50, or more. They might well have had a very conventional life and had 20 years of imagining they were going to have a standard issue daughter that would marry a guy in a suit and have 2.4 kids and a Ford Focus. What they are getting is a dose of real world and free will. Some take to it and some don’t. It looks from afar, like they imagine you’ve turned their little girl in to something other than whatever they envisaged. If it wasn’t for you, they’d have a standard issue kid. It’s what you’ve done to their kid they don’t like, not you. They will have very little interest in you as a person. That’ll be the mindset. If its possible and if/when they are in listening mode, their daughter has some big conversations to have with her parents. For what its worth, if the conversation does happen, I’d stay away from the first round. They’re in the wrong if its as basic and simple as you believe. But telling someone they’re wrong, and getting genuine enlightenment and change out of someone, they can be two very different things with a lot of time between them. 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tegis Posted December 16, 2021 VT Supporter Share Posted December 16, 2021 8 hours ago, Eidolon said: They don’t approve of me solely because I’m a transwoman. This pisses me off and I just can't get my head around the thinking. Hope it's sorted out one way or another to a positive outcome. My daughter told me a year ago that she fancies either sex. My reaction to that is "bloody marvellous, your choices just doubled" Baring dating a grade A criminal I'm pretty sure I can handle whatever she brings home, 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eidolon Posted December 16, 2021 Share Posted December 16, 2021 Honestly honestly I’m not even personally aggrieved at her family, they don’t get it and it’s not a very nice feeling but it’s not the first time and it won’t be the last. I am going to do my best to be amicable with them and sort it out as well as I can. My main concern is sharing my space in the mean time because I’m really not good at that. As I alluded towards in my previous post I have pretty high standards of keeping everything tidy and organised in a way that suits me and I can see myself getting really annoyed if that gets disrupted. My feeling is it will eventually blow over and she’ll be back there eventually, I just hope my rigidity in this area doesn’t mess things up before then. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted December 17, 2021 Share Posted December 17, 2021 20 hours ago, Tegis said: This pisses me off and I just can't get my head around the thinking. Hope it's sorted out one way or another to a positive outcome. My daughter told me a year ago that she fancies either sex. My reaction to that is "bloody marvellous, your choices just doubled" Baring dating a grade A criminal I'm pretty sure I can handle whatever she brings home, Unfortunately old fashioned views are still rife. One of the most common ones is race and religion. I was close to an Indian girl a few years ago... her parents would have killed her if it had progressed and became 'serious'. As far as I know, she's now married to a guy she wasn't that keen on, but at least he's the right religion and caste and she now won't bring shame on the community the family lives in. Thats the most important thing, not their daughter's happiness. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davkaus Posted December 17, 2021 Share Posted December 17, 2021 (edited) So with my pregnant ex, I've been seeing her regularly, but kind of awkwardly buring my head in the sand and keeping to small talk. I'd also just been blanking my mum's messages for a couple of weeks, I decided to put both things right and arranegd to see her tomorrow to have a proper chat and clear the air, and replied to my mum letting her know how I was and that was my plan. 5 minutes later, I get a message from the ex, "your mum just messaged me saying she hopes the chat goes well, any idea what she's talking about". Jesus **** christ. Edit: Think I'm gradually transforming into Dem Edited December 17, 2021 by Davkaus 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Davkaus Posted December 19, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted December 19, 2021 Well, we had a really good chat yesterday, I told her I'd been ready to move on and met someone else, but I couldn't leave her to do this alone, and we agreed that for now, we're not a couple, but we are a team, and we'll get see what happens once life settles down. Felt good. Currently on the way to labour suite as it looks necessary to deliver 3 months prematurely. ****. Wish us luck 22 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Posted December 19, 2021 Share Posted December 19, 2021 22 minutes ago, Davkaus said: Well, we had a really good chat yesterday, I told her I'd been ready to move on and met someone else, but I couldn't leave her to do this alone, and we agreed that for now, we're not a couple, but we are a team, and we'll get see what happens once life settles down. Felt good. Currently on the way to labour suite as it looks necessary to deliver 3 months prematurely. ****. Wish us luck Flipping heck, it’s all going on. Good luck buddy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cyrusr Posted December 19, 2021 VT Supporter Share Posted December 19, 2021 5 minutes ago, Davkaus said: Well, we had a really good chat yesterday, I told her I'd been ready to move on and met someone else, but I couldn't leave her to do this alone, and we agreed that for now, we're not a couple, but we are a team, and we'll get see what happens once life settles down. Felt good. Currently on the way to labour suite as it looks necessary to deliver 3 months prematurely. ****. Wish us luck Well done on having the talk and and actually being honest with her. Usually ends up with getting the best outcome for everyone. But yeah good luck! Seems to be kicking off a lot quicker! Hope the baby and ex are OK health wise! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomav84 Posted December 19, 2021 VT Supporter Share Posted December 19, 2021 On 16/12/2021 at 21:40, Eidolon said: Honestly honestly I’m not even personally aggrieved at her family, they don’t get it and it’s not a very nice feeling but it’s not the first time and it won’t be the last. I am going to do my best to be amicable with them and sort it out as well as I can. My main concern is sharing my space in the mean time because I’m really not good at that. As I alluded towards in my previous post I have pretty high standards of keeping everything tidy and organised in a way that suits me and I can see myself getting really annoyed if that gets disrupted. My feeling is it will eventually blow over and she’ll be back there eventually, I just hope my rigidity in this area doesn’t mess things up before then. my 2 pence worth on this i'd try, if at all possible, to be less rigid if you can considering it's a short term arrangement (hopefully). she's just been kicked out and needs her partner's support...not someone grizzling at her for making a mess. you know at some point she'll do something that annoys you, just try not to bite her head off when she does so. hopefully it all blows over though as you say... interested to know what the straw that broke the camels back was though? did they know you were dating all along or did they think you were just mates or something? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomav84 Posted December 19, 2021 VT Supporter Share Posted December 19, 2021 32 minutes ago, Davkaus said: Well, we had a really good chat yesterday, I told her I'd been ready to move on and met someone else, but I couldn't leave her to do this alone, and we agreed that for now, we're not a couple, but we are a team, and we'll get see what happens once life settles down. Felt good. Currently on the way to labour suite as it looks necessary to deliver 3 months prematurely. ****. Wish us luck hope it all goes well! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eidolon Posted December 19, 2021 Share Posted December 19, 2021 1 hour ago, tomav84 said: my 2 pence worth on this i'd try, if at all possible, to be less rigid if you can considering it's a short term arrangement (hopefully). she's just been kicked out and needs her partner's support...not someone grizzling at her for making a mess. you know at some point she'll do something that annoys you, just try not to bite her head off when she does so. hopefully it all blows over though as you say... interested to know what the straw that broke the camels back was though? did they know you were dating all along or did they think you were just mates or something? You are very right, I should be more considerate of how hard this is on her and what she’s going through, I can put up with a less than perfect housemate by comparison very easily. Yes for the length of our relationship I have been a secret/very close best friend because she WAS worried the reaction wouldn’t be positive (once again Leeds fans ) but nowhere near as severe as telling her to break up with me, blazing row ensues and she’s told she’s got the night to pack up, consoled her it was all shock and hot air and it would blow over overnight but they stuck to it and she’s been here a couple days now. A few grips but much less than I expected, she’s devastated and I Should be a lot less concerned about everything being as I want it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomav84 Posted December 19, 2021 VT Supporter Share Posted December 19, 2021 23 minutes ago, Eidolon said: You are very right, I should be more considerate of how hard this is on her and what she’s going through, I can put up with a less than perfect housemate by comparison very easily. Yes for the length of our relationship I have been a secret/very close best friend because she WAS worried the reaction wouldn’t be positive (once again Leeds fans ) but nowhere near as severe as telling her to break up with me, blazing row ensues and she’s told she’s got the night to pack up, consoled her it was all shock and hot air and it would blow over overnight but they stuck to it and she’s been here a couple days now. A few grips but much less than I expected, she’s devastated and I Should be a lot less concerned about everything being as I want it. Glad it's going better than expected! Still shocked at how people can disown their own kids just cause of their prejudices though! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Davkaus Posted December 19, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted December 19, 2021 False alarm, going to be a tense few months I think! 13 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheAuthority Posted December 20, 2021 VT Supporter Share Posted December 20, 2021 15 hours ago, Davkaus said: False alarm, going to be a tense few months I think! Sounds like you've got a good base to start off with with your baby mamma 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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