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Irreverentad's Relationship Advice Thread


irreverentad

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17 hours ago, Si. said:

Thanks for the responses guys. I’ve decided to let her back in. It was me who ended the relationship for a few reasons including my own mental health and I don’t feel it was fair on her. 
 

My daughter has struggled to settle at my ex girlfriend’s parents house so I have to have her best interests at heart. Her mother has promised not to screw me over and tbf I trust her at present.

I suppose only time will tell.

I think that’s very reasonable on your part and you are doing the right thing for your daughter… FWIW as I have never been in a situation like that and can’t imagine the stress involved. I hope it all works out for the best for you and your little one 

Edited by Eidolon
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Got my laptop I paid $1k for in October last year back from the Sudanese girl I was seeing. Upon reflection and introspection, I think there's every chance I was thrown projectile style like a missile at a brick wall as a young fella, because my radar for red flags and simply volatile and potentially dangerous situations with women I don't know all that well, is essentially non existent.

I've had my run ins with malevolent and underhanded people enough to know that there are people you just don't engage, unless you want to gamble your own integrity just from association, or you want to fight an uphill battle in trying to amend and rectify whatever problems come with.

I can say, not as confidently as I'd like to, that after being gaslit and enduring a fallout that I still honestly cannot fathom as to how it came to be that way, that I have learned that I must take responsibility for whatever has happened. 

From taking responsibility for what transpired, even if I was not deserving of what came my way, I am able to identify at least a hint of insight as to how and why these things happen to me.

And as it turns out, true story, dad says he went down into the basement of our home at the time when I was a two year old, leaving me alone upstairs. When he was on his way back, he got to the bottom of the stairs, and there I was. Also true story, my first memory of having a dream, probably my earliest memory, was of me free falling from the platform at the top of the stairs towards the basement floor. Not stair by stair, one level straight down to the next.

Would explain a lot.

Edited by A'Villan
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25 minutes ago, A'Villan said:

Got my laptop I paid $1k for in October last year back from the Sudanese girl I was seeing. Upon reflection and introspection, I think there's every chance I was thrown projectile style like a missile at a brick wall as a young fella, because my radar for red flags and simply volatile and potentially dangerous situations with women I don't know all that well, is essentially non existent.

I've had my run ins with malevolent and underhanded people enough to know that there are people you just don't engage, unless you want to gamble your own integrity just from association, or you want to fight an uphill battle in trying to amend and rectify whatever problems come with.

I can say, not as confidently as I'd like to, that after being gaslit and enduring a fallout that I still honestly cannot fathom as to how it came to be that way, that I have learned that I must take responsibility for whatever has happened. 

From taking responsibility for what transpired, even if I was not deserving of what came my way, I am able to identify at least a hint of insight as to how and why these things happen to me.

And as it turns out, true story, dad says he went down into the basement of our home at the time when I was a two year old, leaving me alone upstairs. When he was on his way back, he got to the bottom of the stairs, and there I was. Also true story, my first memory of having a dream, probably my earliest memory, was of me free falling from the platform at the top of the stairs towards the basement floor. Not stair by stair, one level straight down to the next.

Would explain a lot.

see-the-problem-is-that-god-gives-men-a-

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  • 1 month later...
1 hour ago, rodders0223 said:

Being single and living in my own place talking to myself - "This needs doing , this needs painting, this needs replacing" Go to homebase, pick a colour, pick a replacement, pick an item, go home, do it within a week or two. Sorted.

Being in a relationship and living together "Rodders0223, we really need to fix this, replace that, repaint that"  ....by fixing, replacing or painting what she means is we need to say we're going to do it for about 6 months.....not actually do it, but discuss it....endlessly - show me fixtures and curtains and shelves and colours and styles non stop for 6 months and ...only then we can do it.

 

...and then I get criticized for not caring. I do care. I cared 6 months ago. I'm beyond caring now. IDGAF.  Pick a colour. There's loads of them. If it doesn't go - there's this magic thing you can do - pick another one and paint over it.

 


 

That took me back to when I used to live on my own in my apartment by the Mailbox. My mates used to say, "must be boring living on your own". Ha ha ha, as if they knew, best time of my life. Do as you do, do as you please.

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I honestly don't think I could live with anyone again. Any relationship would have to be quite casual as no way could I be with someone in the same place for any prolonged period of time!

 

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18 hours ago, Xela said:

I honestly don't think I could live with anyone again. Any relationship would have to be quite casual as no way could I be with someone in the same place for any prolonged period of time!

 

I often say the older I get the bit more selfish I am and that I quite happy about that. No more fitting in with others' plans or ideas...more doing what Johnny wants and when Johnny wants.

That said, after almost 20 years of such mindset, my girlfriend moved in last April and its been the best thing I've ever done. It helps massively that she is a relaxed character and we share 97% of the same ideals and values. I couldn't be happier (cue leslie chong "gaaaaaaay" gif).

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15 minutes ago, rjw63 said:

It's Chang. 

Ben Chang. 

You big GAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY 😂

Sorry, I only remember the actor from the hangover films and if you insinuating that i am a big GAY.....well, I am friends with the petshop boys, it that's what you mean (well, I am friends with the quiet one)

Mate 😉

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22 hours ago, Xela said:

I honestly don't think I could live with anyone again. Any relationship would have to be quite casual as no way could I be with someone in the same place for any prolonged period of time!

 

PM

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4 hours ago, mottaloo said:

I often say the older I get the bit more selfish I am and that I quite happy about that. No more fitting in with others' plans or ideas...more doing what Johnny wants and when Johnny wants.

That said, after almost 20 years of such mindset, my girlfriend moved in last April and its been the best thing I've ever done. It helps massively that she is a relaxed character and we share 97% of the same ideals and values. I couldn't be happier (cue leslie chong "gaaaaaaay" gif).

Below 4 crazy and above a 8 hot you say, hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

 

 

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1 hour ago, mottaloo said:

Sorry, I only remember the actor from the hangover films and if you insinuating that i am a big GAY.....well, I am friends with the petshop boys, it that's what you mean (well, I am friends with the quiet one)

Mate 😉

I would have posted the gif in question but at work, can't do it on phone, buggerit 😁

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1 hour ago, A'Villan said:

To date, my romantic life has, for the most part, been non existent or tragic.

About to leave for a date with a girl who seems great. It's always the one's who inspire hope that are the most challenging. Only because you begin to look at yourself in ways that perhaps you hadn't.

I'm all good. Hopefully it's that way and even better by evening's end.

Wish me luck.

Good luck and don't forget the old villatalk saying:

Pics or gtfo 😉

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