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Irreverentad's Relationship Advice Thread


irreverentad

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1 hour ago, Rugeley Villa said:

Cracking position 

Ahhh, I remember the days, meet the crew Christmas eve up a club in Brum, £20-30 in, couple of beers, bit of Christmas eve action with the Mrs or if single a random, then Christmas day. Good times

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28 minutes ago, Rugeley Villa said:

Yeah it’s all different now. I’d save money and give my gran it to hold for me then once I’d broke up I’d have 4-5 good blow outs over the Xmas period . Some good times had, but some not so good times looking back . All about the kids now,  but me and the missus love Xmas , too. I’ve been a bit spontaneous this year, I’ve bought her a new toy. Not like me at all to go down that path of buying her something like that, especially at a time like Xmas , but I was feeling a bit frisky the other day.  Photos to follow .....

I must be way past that, bought my Mrs a pressure cooker 😂

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50 minutes ago, Rugeley Villa said:

 I’ve been a bit spontaneous this year, I’ve bought her a new toy. Not like me at all to go down that path of buying her something like that, especially at a time like Xmas , but I was feeling a bit frisky the other day.  Photos to follow .....

Just please don’t forget whose present is whose

1*r4qoo_SJzU8BcGqwoidEEg.gif

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  • 3 weeks later...

Need some advice guys.

Me and my partner split a week ago, we have a joint mortgage and a one year old daughter.

She has been at her parents with my daughter for a week or so now, she wants to move back in to the house tomorrow and wants me to move out to my parents house.

Will I lose any of my rights to the house if I move out? What if she changes the locks?

We haven't agreed a figure of maintenance either, I have offered her a generous amount a month but claims she is thinking about it.

What would you do in my position/has anyone else been through this before and can give any advice? Should I not move out of the house?

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57 minutes ago, Si. said:

Need some advice guys.

Me and my partner split a week ago, we have a joint mortgage and a one year old daughter.

She has been at her parents with my daughter for a week or so now, she wants to move back in to the house tomorrow and wants me to move out to my parents house.

Will I lose any of my rights to the house if I move out? What if she changes the locks?

We haven't agreed a figure of maintenance either, I have offered her a generous amount a month but claims she is thinking about it.

What would you do in my position/has anyone else been through this before and can give any advice? Should I not move out of the house?

If the split wasn't your fault, and she's already out, I wouldn't move.

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1 hour ago, Si. said:

Need some advice guys.

Me and my partner split a week ago, we have a joint mortgage and a one year old daughter.

She has been at her parents with my daughter for a week or so now, she wants to move back in to the house tomorrow and wants me to move out to my parents house.

Will I lose any of my rights to the house if I move out? What if she changes the locks?

We haven't agreed a figure of maintenance either, I have offered her a generous amount a month but claims she is thinking about it.

What would you do in my position/has anyone else been through this before and can give any advice? Should I not move out of the house?

My situation - 20 odd years ago - she moved out, joint mortgage although i was paying it all.......that made no difference legally, i couldn't ask her to contribute half. i had to pay her off as she could've forced a sale but luckily i got away with a one off payment which she took. Still stuck in my throat to pay her (she was unfaithful)

I changed the locks but apparently, i shouldnt have - took a chance but got away with it. I dont know if that's still a thin ice thing to do but u was preventing her access to her possessions etc. Got a bollocking off the solicitor for it.

Will say, no kids were involved so i cant help you on that bit. Dont know if CSA are still a toothless tiger of an agency.

If you stand your ground and stay - which i believe is your right - then prepare for things to get shitty. i really played my face up about anything just to be awkward. In the end i thought life is too short and i said sod it and co operated.

Dont know of overcrowding is a problem at either parents house but my guessing is she wants her nest back to bring the babby up so wants you out as it would suit her more.

Edited by mottaloo
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2 hours ago, Si. said:

Need some advice guys.

Me and my partner split a week ago, we have a joint mortgage and a one year old daughter.

She has been at her parents with my daughter for a week or so now, she wants to move back in to the house tomorrow and wants me to move out to my parents house.

Will I lose any of my rights to the house if I move out? What if she changes the locks?

We haven't agreed a figure of maintenance either, I have offered her a generous amount a month but claims she is thinking about it.

What would you do in my position/has anyone else been through this before and can give any advice? Should I not move out of the house?

Never been divorced and it's 15 years since I studied law so can't remember the technicalities. I would strongly recommend that you speak to a solicitor before you agree to anything, explain that you need some time but try and be civil (these things can be considered during arbitration). You have rights to things and don't need to bend over backwards to try and accommodate. I'd recommend not being too generous due to your daughter unless you're 100% sure you wouldn't regret it and be bitter in future (I've seen this happen). Also, get anything that is agreed (from either of you) in writing. Even if it's just an email to her confirming a verbal conversation. 

What I can add though is as a child of divorce and seeing the fallout of my folks. Whatever happens she will be in your life forever going forwards and being civil to each other will go a long way. Even if it's not for you but for your daughter. My little sister has a somewhat messed up idea of men and relationships due to the fall-out from the divorce and how bitter it all got. Take care of yourself but try and put your daughter first, it'll be a challenge but it'll be worth it and time helps with these things. 

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2 hours ago, Si. said:

Need some advice guys.

Me and my partner split a week ago, we have a joint mortgage and a one year old daughter.

She has been at her parents with my daughter for a week or so now, she wants to move back in to the house tomorrow and wants me to move out to my parents house.

Will I lose any of my rights to the house if I move out? What if she changes the locks?

We haven't agreed a figure of maintenance either, I have offered her a generous amount a month but claims she is thinking about it.

What would you do in my position/has anyone else been through this before and can give any advice? Should I not move out of the house?

Sorry to hear.

Something like this, you really need to speak to a solicitor.

From my understanding, you can't be forced to leave your own home, but if it the split is final and there is no chance of reconciliation, then it can get messy. Try and stay civil for your daughters sake.

Good luck. 

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3 hours ago, Si. said:

Need some advice guys.

Me and my partner split a week ago, we have a joint mortgage and a one year old daughter.

She has been at her parents with my daughter for a week or so now, she wants to move back in to the house tomorrow and wants me to move out to my parents house.

Will I lose any of my rights to the house if I move out? What if she changes the locks?

We haven't agreed a figure of maintenance either, I have offered her a generous amount a month but claims she is thinking about it.

What would you do in my position/has anyone else been through this before and can give any advice? Should I not move out of the house?

 

Sorry to hear about your breakup that sucks mate.

Why would you move out? Did you buy the house together or is it hers and you moved in?

I wouldnt go if i was you si. You can be separated and still live togeather until you have spoken about

A) this is a permanent breakup 

B) what you intend to do with the house.

If its a permanent breakup go see a lawyer before doing anything

 

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3 hours ago, Si. said:

Need some advice guys.

Me and my partner split a week ago, we have a joint mortgage and a one year old daughter.

She has been at her parents with my daughter for a week or so now, she wants to move back in to the house tomorrow and wants me to move out to my parents house.

Will I lose any of my rights to the house if I move out? What if she changes the locks?

We haven't agreed a figure of maintenance either, I have offered her a generous amount a month but claims she is thinking about it.

What would you do in my position/has anyone else been through this before and can give any advice? Should I not move out of the house?

Sorry to hear this and wish you well, it can be a horrible place to be but it gets better, trust me. 
don’t agree to anything unless in writing with a witness and get your hands on a parental responsibility form gov.uk and try and be amicable. Go self employed if you can, the csa are unscrupulous. When my kids mom got greedy and went to the csa I realised working 60 hour weeks for less than £100 disposable income per month was no longer worth the stress. 

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Thanks for the responses guys. I’ve decided to let her back in. It was me who ended the relationship for a few reasons including my own mental health and I don’t feel it was fair on her. 
 

My daughter has struggled to settle at my ex girlfriend’s parents house so I have to have her best interests at heart. Her mother has promised not to screw me over and tbf I trust her at present.

I suppose only time will tell.

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