Parenting Corner: The joys and trials of raising little Villans

[Stevo985]

11 minutes ago, Davkaus said:

Our little one is back in the hospital, and it's devastating, but I'd be lying if I said there isn't a little bit of me that's glad I can leave and get some peace and bloody quiet before I table flip. At least a couple of times a day I have a mental breakdown and realise I've ruined my life. Then she stops screaming and smiles or giggles, and for about 2 minutes, things are ok again. The despair is never far away though.

1 and done, already booked in the snip. I love her, but **** hell.

Haha pretty much how I feel, although obviously our issue pale in comparison to yours.

It's just the relentlessness of it. Being up half the night wouldn't bother me at all if I knew the next night would be a normal night's sleep. But it's every.single.night.

If we make it to 5am without having to get him up for the day then it's a great success. And even then it's rarely unbroken sleep.

 

It's driving me insane. I've got my work Christmas party next week and I'm staying in a hotel near the venue. i'm tempted to turn up for the meal, have one drink and then go back for a full night's sleep in a proper bed  

[PieFacE]

For all the issues we've had with sleeping, the thing that has worked best for us is pretty much the thing they say you shouldn't do. We got so sick of getting up at stupid hours with ours about a month ago my gf just picked him up and said "**** it he can sleep with us". Now every night around 10pm my gf takes him to bed with her when he wakes up for his 10pm tantrum and he tends to sleep through the night until about 6/7am with co-sleeping. Wakes up occasionally in the night but usually settles within a few minutes . 

I'm sure the long term effects of cosleeping is horrendous but it's nice at the minute. He seems happier, we're happier. Whatever works. 

[HKP90]

24 minutes ago, Stevo985 said:

Haha pretty much how I feel, although obviously our issue pale in comparison to yours.

It's just the relentlessness of it. Being up half the night wouldn't bother me at all if I knew the next night would be a normal night's sleep. But it's every.single.night.

If we make it to 5am without having to get him up for the day then it's a great success. And even then it's rarely unbroken sleep.

 

It's driving me insane. I've got my work Christmas party next week and I'm staying in a hotel near the venue. i'm tempted to turn up for the meal, have one drink and then go back for a full night's sleep in a proper bed  

Same here. At the moment it feels like I can't get enough recovery over the weekend (which all seem perpetually fully booked with other s**t we need to do) to get ready for the onslaught of balancing job, kids etc come monday. Fatigue has been building toward boiling point for what feels like years. All the energy you put in, the efforts you make, everything are never ever enough. I love 'em, but they are slowly but surely killing me. 

Obviously we've not got it as bad as you, Dav, and I can't emphasise strongly enough how much i'm hoping that things go the right way for you, bud.  

[Genie]

1 hour ago, hogso said:

My daughter just turned 2. We're thinking when we get the access to 30 hours childcare (Jan '24) we'll try for another one once my girlfriend will almost certainly go back to full time then. 

If you'd have asked me a year ago I probably would have said the same as you! She's an utter joy at the moment, now things like eating and sleeping have settled down to some sort of normality. 

Best thing we ever did was have ours close together (they are 2 years apart). 

[villa4europe]

Having 2 is great, the sleeping thing for me is done, the wife is breastfeeding the 2nd one so I don't get the trouble, still a few nights a week where I'm asleep by 8pm,lyobg with them in the dark as they go to sleep is a killer but at worst it's an early night and a good sleep

Mine are 2 and half and 6 months and there's starting to be that incredible thing where you put them together and they already love each other and the oldest will lie with the baby and hold his hand to try and stop him crying... And then the bastard will pull her hair that's something different!

Her personality probably changed anyway due to being 2 but he had a big impact on her, spitting water out and throwing drinks was the main one, still the only thing I'd unproudly say I've smacked her for, went through a stage where she'd scream for a drink in the night and then look me straight in the eye as she spat it out or tipped it out on her bedding

[Genie]

Children without brothers or sisters tend to be a bit odd too  

[mjmooney]

Just now, Genie said:

Children without brothers or sisters tend to be a bit odd too  

 

[Genie]

1 hour ago, mjmooney said:

 

Not all obviously, but in my experience quite a lot have weird or unusual personalities.

Edited December 5, 2022 by Genie

[Mark Albrighton]

2 hours ago, Stevo985 said:

Why do people do this more than once?

**** that. Never again

If I was ever going to have a second child (it was never a real likelihood), it would have to have happened within a couple of years of the first one. Kinda group the softplay years together, if you like.

Obviously people do leave a bigger gap of time between having children all the time, but the thought of starting over again years after the first child makes me feel tired.

[Genie]

37 minutes ago, Mark Albrighton said:

If I was ever going to have a second child (it was never a real likelihood), it would have to have happened within a couple of years of the first one. Kinda group the softplay years together, if you like.

Obviously people do leave a bigger gap of time between having children all the time, but the thought of starting over again years after the first child makes me feel tired.

That was our thinking. Don’t want to go through the pain of getting life back and then back to sleepless nights.

Just had 1 long stint then out of it with 2 toddlers.

The other thing with us, out first took quite a lot of work to catch for. Went to docs and there was no obvious issue, just had to persevere . Eventually caught after nearly 2 years of trying. When he was about 14 months old we decided we should get trying again as it might be another couple of years… 1 month off the pill and she’s pregnant again. It was quite a shock tbh. Wouldn’t change it now. 

[Xela]

1 hour ago, Genie said:

Not all obviously, but in my experience quite a lot of weird or unusual personalities.

[Follyfoot]

Mine are two years apart virtually to the day, the good news is for all you parents who have younger ones a couple of years apart, at some point they actually start playing with each other and leave you alone. The relief lasts for around 12 months and then you wish they were younger again.

[mjmooney]

38 minutes ago, Follyfoot said:

Mine are two years apart virtually to the day, the good news is for all you parents who have younger ones a couple of years apart, at some point they actually start playing with each other and leave you alone. The relief lasts for around 12 months and then you wish they were younger again.

Yes. This. 

[turvontour]

4 hours ago, PieFacE said:

For all the issues we've had with sleeping, the thing that has worked best for us is pretty much the thing they say you shouldn't do. We got so sick of getting up at stupid hours with ours about a month ago my gf just picked him up and said "**** it he can sleep with us". Now every night around 10pm my gf takes him to bed with her when he wakes up for his 10pm tantrum and he tends to sleep through the night until about 6/7am with co-sleeping. Wakes up occasionally in the night but usually settles within a few minutes . 

I'm sure the long term effects of cosleeping is horrendous but it's nice at the minute. He seems happier, we're happier. Whatever works. 

I really wouldnt worry about that, do what works best.

[Wainy316]

Our lad usually goes down for 10 hours over night, might need rocking back off a bit but don’t have to get up properly with him.

Ketamine ftw

[NurembergVillan]

4 hours ago, villa4europe said:

Having 2 is great, the sleeping thing for me is done, the wife is breastfeeding the 2nd one so I don't get the trouble, still a few nights a week where I'm asleep by 8pm,lyobg with them in the dark as they go to sleep is a killer but at worst it's an early night and a good sleep

Mine are 2 and half and 6 months and there's starting to be that incredible thing where you put them together and they already love each other and the oldest will lie with the baby and hold his hand to try and stop him crying... And then the bastard will pull her hair that's something different!

Her personality probably changed anyway due to being 2 but he had a big impact on her, spitting water out and throwing drinks was the main one, still the only thing I'd unproudly say I've smacked her for, went through a stage where she'd scream for a drink in the night and then look me straight in the eye as she spat it out or tipped it out on her bedding

Tempted to set a reminder on this post for 4 years from now when they're kicking the **** out of each 90% of the time and you're more of a referee than a parent.

I apologise if that feels overly negative, but I've barely slept for 7 years now and it's left me a bit emotionally raw

[Villa87]

12 hours ago, Stevo985 said:

Haha pretty much how I feel, although obviously our issue pale in comparison to yours.

It's just the relentlessness of it. Being up half the night wouldn't bother me at all if I knew the next night would be a normal night's sleep. But it's every.single.night.

If we make it to 5am without having to get him up for the day then it's a great success. And even then it's rarely unbroken sleep.

 

It's driving me insane. I've got my work Christmas party next week and I'm staying in a hotel near the venue. i'm tempted to turn up for the meal, have one drink and then go back for a full night's sleep in a proper bed  

This is my life . My 14 month old has been up between 4-5 every morning for months. The lack of sleep then a full working week is an absolute killer. Throw in life admin and it’s one massive slog. Summer so much easier with the lighter mornings and evenings. The only thing that keeps me going is the fact my 4 year old was the same and now sleeps for 12 hours a night getting up between 6-7. My wife wants a third - not happening!

[Delphinho123]

I’ve got three under five.

It’s f****** horrendous.

[Seat68]

8 hours ago, NurembergVillan said:

Tempted to set a reminder on this post for 4 years from now when they're kicking the **** out of each 90% of the time and you're more of a referee than a parent.

I apologise if that feels overly negative, but I've barely slept for 7 years now and it's left me a bit emotionally raw

Youngest of three, older brother who pelted the life out of me till I walked out of the house at 14, so playing might happen or as you say parents become referees.

[dubbs]

We've got 6 between us and 5 out of 6 haven't turned out bad at all.  The other one is a total nightmare.  23 and has all the brains of a grain of sand. No common sense, bit of a druggie, a liar and causing the family lots of issues.  However, reading this thread we've got it easy!