Parenting Corner: The joys and trials of raising little Villans

[Stevo985]

4 minutes ago, Mark Albrighton said:

It’s exactly my reasoning with my daughter’s homework.

The number of times I didn’t do homework and found myself scribbling out some half arsed attempt at it during the 20 minute break time when it was due in for literally the next lesson. 

I want her to just tell me and I’m more than happy to help her manage her time so she doesn’t piss around like I did (and still do, to be honest).

Fortunately only the Friday just gone when we got home from school Ava essentially said to me “Let’s practice the spellings now because I don’t want you asking me to do them later”. 

Yep

I mean I'd get my homework done, and I did pretty well at school, so it's not even the quality of the work I'm worried about. It's the stress of spending my weekend knowing I had work to do on Sunday evening. I still know what that feels like so I don't want him to fall into that mindset

[mjmooney]

2 hours ago, Stevo985 said:

One thing I was really bad at when I was a kid was doing my homework early. It's absolutely shit having your homework hanging over your head all evening/weekend but I never learned my lesson. And I kind of wish my parents had forced me into that mindset that it's better to get it done early and get it out of the way rather than let it drag on.

It's an approach that I think still affects me in my adult life. I always do things last minute.

I was the same all through school and university. Second re-sit that you can't afford to fail? Done no revision whatsoever? Fine, start the night before the exam! Actually, **** it, go down the pub, you can start when you get back, pull an all-nighter. Nope, can't be arsed, set your alarm clock for 5 am and start then. Ah, I'll just have to wing it. So many times I went through that, and swore I'd never do it again. Always did, despite the resulting self-loathing. 

[Rds1983]

28 minutes ago, mjmooney said:

I was the same all through school and university. Second re-sit that you can't afford to fail? Done no revision whatsoever? Fine, start the night before the exam! Actually, **** it, go down the pub, you can start when you get back, pull an all-nighter. Nope, can't be arsed, set your alarm clock for 5 am and start then. Ah, I'll just have to wing it. So many times I went through that, and swore I'd never do it again. Always did, despite the resulting self-loathing. 

Sounds like my approach to school and university. Managed to get through it all but definitely have regrets about not doing my best and getting better results.

[Stevo985]

52 minutes ago, mjmooney said:

I was the same all through school and university. Second re-sit that you can't afford to fail? Done no revision whatsoever? Fine, start the night before the exam! Actually, **** it, go down the pub, you can start when you get back, pull an all-nighter. Nope, can't be arsed, set your alarm clock for 5 am and start then. Ah, I'll just have to wing it. So many times I went through that, and swore I'd never do it again. Always did, despite the resulting self-loathing. 

Yep exactly the same. And like I said I did ok at school and Uni despite all that, but firstly it's a horrible way to be because it adds so much more stress, and secondly I don't think you retain much information by cramming that way. You remember it for long enough to pass the exam and then it's gone

[Wainy316]

1 hour ago, mjmooney said:

I was the same all through school and university. Second re-sit that you can't afford to fail? Done no revision whatsoever? Fine, start the night before the exam! Actually, **** it, go down the pub, you can start when you get back, pull an all-nighter. Nope, can't be arsed, set your alarm clock for 5 am and start then. Ah, I'll just have to wing it. So many times I went through that, and swore I'd never do it again. Always did, despite the resulting self-loathing. 

Sounds much like me at school and uni too.

I then made the crazy decision to study again and the same thing happened all over again.  Slightly more disciplined but still would put studying off and off in favour of doing things I couldn't enjoy fully because of the lingering knowledge that I should be studying.  

Anyway, got my final result through this morning and passed so all worth it now, but never ever again!

[DCJonah]

17 hours ago, Davkaus said:

I can see why as an individual parent you need to take this line, so this absolutely isn't a criticism of you, but it's a bit shit, isn't it? Homework, at 7 years old? Telling a kid they need to work hard at the weekend and it's not all play. I know it's not exactly sending him up the chimney, but we should be able to let kids be **** kids. I suspect we've ended up in this position because of particularly shit parents who just want to dump their kids in front of a screen all weekend and never read to them or teach them anything

I anticipate a lot of arguments with teachers in my future.

I'm a teacher and I 100% agree. Our homework policy over the years has changed, we tried to cut back but too many parents moaned and wanted their kids to be set homework. 

There's a lot of research that shows homework isn't that beneficial before children start secondary school. 

I certainly don't have arguments with my 6 year old girls. If they want to do it I'll help, if not then I'm not that fussed. 

Now having said that, I encourage them to read as many books as possible and as they get older if their X table knowledge is poor I'll support them with that. But I'm not sitting there forcing them to do a worksheet or task. 

Because I'll also guarantee that teachers haven't got time to look at them and feedback on them properly. 

 

[Rugeley Villa]

Nowadays it just seems like there’s less time as a parent . So much more clubs to do , although there’s more kids just sat in their rooms of their games . Our schedule in terms of clubs is 

Monday 6-7.30 sons boxing club 

Tuesday 5-7 Girls Gymnastics club 

Wednesday Sons football training 

Saturday 8-8.45 swimming/ 9.50-11.30 sons football training / 12-2 Girls gymnastics club 

Sunday morning sons football game 

My son has only just started the boxing so if he enjoys it enough he’ll be going to boxing on a Friday also . That’s without the after school football or netball they sometimes do or the gardening club etc. We enjoy it , but sometimes it’s like bloody hell where do the weeks go . As for homework they seem to be getting less than they used to get . I was not very good at school primary or secondary, but my kids seem to excel at school and get good grades. They must take after their mum. I know during covid lockdowns I just could not do the home schooling. 

[TheAuthority]

On 17/10/2022 at 08:44, DCJonah said:

I'm a teacher and I 100% agree. Our homework policy over the years has changed, we tried to cut back but too many parents moaned and wanted their kids to be set homework. 

There's a lot of research that shows homework isn't that beneficial before children start secondary school. 

I certainly don't have arguments with my 6 year old girls. If they want to do it I'll help, if not then I'm not that fussed. 

Now having said that, I encourage them to read as many books as possible and as they get older if their X table knowledge is poor I'll support them with that. But I'm not sitting there forcing them to do a worksheet or task. 

Because I'll also guarantee that teachers haven't got time to look at them and feedback on them properly. 

 

Was going to post something similar. 

There's a movement in education over here to set no homework. It's not valuable and is quite an outdated idea.

[Marka Ragnos]

We're having RSV -- sounds like a Dutch football club -- tear through my part of the States right now. Lots of children sick and home from school, including my lad. Chemist shelves cleared of cough lozenges, etc. Hate it when he's ill. When he was an infant, he was hopistalised with RSV, but as I understand it, that's much more common with infants and he's 16. Still, I don't like it.

Quote

 

Children’s hospitals in parts of the U.S. are seeing a surge in a common respiratory illness that can cause severe breathing problems for babies.

RSV cases fell dramatically two years ago as the pandemic shut down schools, day cares and businesses. With restrictions easing in the summer of 2021, doctors saw an alarming increase in what is normally a fall and winter virus.

 

 

Edited October 26, 2022 by Marka Ragnos

[TheAuthority]

1 hour ago, Marka Ragnos said:

We're having RSV -- sounds like a Dutch football club -- tear through my part of the States right now. Lots of children sick and home from school, including my lad. Chemist shelves cleared of cough lozenges, etc. Hate it when he's ill. When he was an infant, he was hopistalised with RSV, but as I understand it, that's much more common with infants and he's 16. Still, I don't like it.

 

A 7 month old grandson of a friend/colleague of mine in New York was hospitalized with it. The little guy is OK now - but I have a 3.5 year old and a 5 month old. With the older one at a daycare 5 days a week it's probably only a matter of time before it makes it's way out here.

Are we all neurotic since Covid or is there just more info and spotlight on it?

[Marka Ragnos]

32 minutes ago, TheAuthority said:

A 7 month old grandson of a friend/colleague of mine in New York was hospitalized with it. The little guy is OK now - but I have a 3.5 year old and a 5 month old. With the older one at a daycare 5 days a week it's probably only a matter of time before it makes it's way out here.

Are we all neurotic since Covid or is there just more info and spotlight on it?

Haha I'm as neurotic as before Covid lol. But it's a real concern. When my kid was hospitalised as an infant, he bounced back quickly. He'd been coughing a lot and his breathing was becoming laboured. It was December 2006. My wife didn't think he was all that sick, but I was scared, took him to the ER, and he was admitted right away. I'm grateful I was neurotic, tbh. Christmas at hospital. That sucked. But he got better fast.  

Edited October 26, 2022 by Marka Ragnos

[AlwaysAVFC]

Currently playing the waiting game with our 5 year old. She woke in the night with stomach pain and has had it since. She went to the doctors today and were a bit concerned that it might be appendicitis. They contacted the hospital but they don't want to see her unless she has the pain longer or it gets worse.

My gut is it won't turn out to be the case but its not nice just waiting.

 

[PieFacE]

3 minutes ago, AlwaysAVFC said:

Currently playing the waiting game with our 5 year old. She woke in the night with stomach pain and has had it since. She went to the doctors today and were a bit concerned that it might be appendicitis. They contacted the hospital but they don't want to see her unless she has the pain longer or it gets worse.

My gut is it won't turn out to be the case but its not nice just waiting.

 

Sorry to hear that mate! Hope she's okay and the pain subsides soon one way or the other.

 

[cheltenham_villa]

4 minutes ago, AlwaysAVFC said:

Currently playing the waiting game with our 5 year old. She woke in the night with stomach pain and has had it since. She went to the doctors today and were a bit concerned that it might be appendicitis. They contacted the hospital but they don't want to see her unless she has the pain longer or it gets worse.

My gut is it won't turn out to be the case but its not nice just waiting.

 

My son had appendicitis age 6. I still feel bad for telling him to just get up before finally realising he couldn't walk because of the pain. A very rubbish 48 hours in hospital followed before they ripped his appendix out. From what I recall they can tell pretty quickly from a urine test.

[PieFacE]

I find the balancing act of whether to let a kid ride out pain or to get a hospital involved so difficult (especially with a baby that can't really communicate). A couple of months ago our baby was screaming in pain like he had never done before and it went on for what felt like hours (but probably wasn't that long). He seemed in genuine agony and we had no idea why and it was very out of character. I had my phone in my hand getting ready to call 111 or whatever whilst my OH was trying to settle him and calm him down. For quite some time we were debating whether to phone for help or not as we had no idea if it was part of teething or something much much worse.

Then he did a massive poo and was happy as Larry after that. 

Would have felt very silly rushing him to A&E for that but was seriously considering it. 

Edited October 26, 2022 by PieFacE

[cheltenham_villa]

8 minutes ago, PieFacE said:

I find the balancing act of whether to let a kid ride out pain or to get a hospital involved so difficult (especially with a baby that can't really communicate). A couple of months ago our baby was screaming in pain like he had never done before and it went on for what felt like hours (but probably wasn't that long). He seemed in genuine agony and we had no idea why and it was very out of character. I had my phone in my hand getting ready to call 111 or whatever whilst my OH was trying to settle him and calm him down. For quite some time we were debating whether to phone for help or not as we had no idea if it was part of teething or something much much worse.

Then he did a massive poo and was happy as Larry after that. 

Would have felt very silly rushing him to A&E for that but was seriously considering it. 

I think that's the beauty of 111, you don't feel so bad about ringing. Call them up and talk it through, it's what they are there for. I did lots of doctors visits with my first kid, often good to get the reassurance that nothing was wrong. Probably got a bit too relaxed by the time the second came around.

[AlwaysAVFC]

19 minutes ago, PieFacE said:

I find the balancing act of whether to let a kid ride out pain or to get a hospital involved so difficult (especially with a baby that can't really communicate). A couple of months ago our baby was screaming in pain like he had never done before and it went on for what felt like hours (but probably wasn't that long). He seemed in genuine agony and we had no idea why. I had my phone in my hand getting ready to call 111 or whatever whilst my OH was trying to settle him and calm him down. For quite some time we were debating whether to phone for help or not as we had no idea if it was part of teething or something much much worse.

Then he did a massive poo and was happy as Larry after that. 

Would have felt very silly rushing him to A&E for that but was seriously considering it. 

Yeah it's really hard. She's not in excruciating pain just uncomfortable. We were thinking Urine infection but the GP tested that and there weren't any signs although they've sent it of to be tested too.

A different situation but her half sister complained of stomach aches over time which we we held off getting checked out as we suspected anxiety, attention or avoiding something. Eventually we decided to get it checked out and it turned out she was Coeliac.

Edited October 26, 2022 by AlwaysAVFC

[Stevo985]

14 minutes ago, PieFacE said:

I find the balancing act of whether to let a kid ride out pain or to get a hospital involved so difficult (especially with a baby that can't really communicate). A couple of months ago our baby was screaming in pain like he had never done before and it went on for what felt like hours (but probably wasn't that long). He seemed in genuine agony and we had no idea why and it was very out of character. I had my phone in my hand getting ready to call 111 or whatever whilst my OH was trying to settle him and calm him down. For quite some time we were debating whether to phone for help or not as we had no idea if it was part of teething or something much much worse.

Then he did a massive poo and was happy as Larry after that. 

Would have felt very silly rushing him to A&E for that but was seriously considering it. 

This happened to us when Jack was really constipated. He was in so much pain I ended up pulling the poo out of his arse. I wish I was joking

[PieFacE]

1 hour ago, Stevo985 said:

This happened to us when Jack was really constipated. He was in so much pain I ended up pulling the poo out of his arse. I wish I was joking

Jesus. Think i'll try and avoid that one for as long as possible. 

[Seat68]

Post Halloween the Santa/elf cam comes out. Potentially the last year before logic kicks in and my grandson questions it. Consistently helping us get him to eat his tea. Can't recommend a Santa cam more for those parents with little bastards.