What is your experience of mental health?

[Brumstopdogs]

 

[Rugeley Villa]

A lad I knew topped himself yesterday. There’s been a few suicides in the town in the last month or so . All males, too. 
 

Just talk to someone for crying out loud 

[osmark86]

16 hours ago, Rugeley Villa said:

A lad I knew topped himself yesterday. There’s been a few suicides in the town in the last month or so . All males, too. 
 

Just talk to someone for crying out loud 

that's awful. I totally agree that talking to people about how you feel is something we should not hide away from because it really helps. hope you're ok since you said you knew the fella.

[Rugeley Villa]

1 hour ago, osmark86 said:

that's awful. I totally agree that talking to people about how you feel is something we should not hide away from because it really helps. hope you're ok since you said you knew the fella.

Terrible statistics for male suicide. I only knew him in passing and many years ago he was going out with my best mates sister so we all ended up on holiday in Spain. Nice bloke , shame. 

[Eidolon]

Had my annual Xmas bulemia relapse tonight even though I barely ate by what would be any normal non-anorexic person’s standard. This time of year is a dang nightmare

[foreveryoung]

13 minutes ago, Eidolon said:

Had my annual Xmas bulemia relapse tonight even though I barely ate by what would be any normal non-anorexic person’s standard. This time of year is a dang nightmare

I used to date a girl who had Bulemia. I knew nothing about it previous and didn't really notice until about 3 months into the relationship. We used to go out to restaurants and she used to immediately go to the toilet after eating. She told me straight up like it wasn't a problem, as her mom lived her life with Bulemia, an said it's just like a strict diet.

Obviously I guess it can effect you mentally too, long story short, the relationship didn't last too long, lovely girl though, I remember being pretty upset about that one, although we just couldn't make it work.

[mjmooney]

We have a niece who got pretty close to death with anorexia. Remarkably, she seems to have beaten it - got married last year and finally looks healthy and happy. 

[Eidolon]

2 minutes ago, mjmooney said:

We have a niece who got pretty close to death with anorexia. Remarkably, she seems to have beaten it - got married last year and finally looks healthy and happy. 

Congrats to your niece I’ve been in that exact situation a couple of years ago (forced hospital admission at 42kg) but I wouldn’t say I’ve beaten it yet and still have a way to go. It’s awesome to hear about your niece and helps a lot to hear a story with a happy ending

[robby b]

I'm sad to read about your struggle with bulimia, Eidolon, but glad that you're on the way to recovery and I hope you get to the end of your way to go soon. And glad to hear that your neice has got through it, mjmooney, 

I'd like to wish you all on Villa Talk a happy new year and to thank you for being a nice bunch of people.

There are a few ex-girlfriends in my past but not in recent years and although these days I quite like being single quite a lot of the time, it can, not surprisingly, also be lonely and difficult some other times... and in the last ten years I've only occasionally seen my hometown old friends as they have young children and serious careers, and have dispersed to various counties and I've now ended up dispersing to a far away county! Social media has come under fire with regard to mental health in the last few years and I don’t really know if a football fans forum such as Villa Talk is categorised as one (a social media) but for me I really think it's been helpful to find lots of camaraderie/companionship and genuine good will on here, especially during some low times. I joined in 2015 and posting on here and reading replies, and sharing some laughs, has overall been positive, thank you ! 

(Lots of Villa defeats has been a bit less helpful but the wins here and there have been welcome boosts for morale !)

Edited December 31, 2021 by robby b

[mjmooney]

2 hours ago, robby b said:

There are a few ex-girlfriends in my past but not in recent years and although these days I like being single quite a lot of the time, it can, not surprisingly, also be hard some other times...

 

[Jimzk5]

I'm going for another scan next week, I have vision issues now and random headaches, I've come to terms with it now atleast, but I'm going to do my best to not let this brain tumour end my life. Goodnight Villatalk, ill hopefully see you all soon 

[TheAuthority]

4 hours ago, Jimzk5 said:

I'm going for another scan next week, I have vision issues now and random headaches, I've come to terms with it now atleast, but I'm going to do my best to not let this brain tumour end my life. Goodnight Villatalk, ill hopefully see you all soon 

I don't know you well Jim, but know that you've got someone over in the west of the US rooting for you. Keep us updated pal.

[Tegis]

8 hours ago, Jimzk5 said:

I'm going for another scan next week, I have vision issues now and random headaches, I've come to terms with it now atleast, but I'm going to do my best to not let this brain tumour end my life. Goodnight Villatalk, ill hopefully see you all soon 

All fingers and toes crossed for the best possible outcome.

[Stevo985]

9 hours ago, Jimzk5 said:

I'm going for another scan next week, I have vision issues now and random headaches, I've come to terms with it now atleast, but I'm going to do my best to not let this brain tumour end my life. Goodnight Villatalk, ill hopefully see you all soon 

fingers crossed the news is as good as possible.

We're all rooting for you

[Genie]

Good luck @Jimzk5. Lots of love and support from me. 

[choffer]

A couple of months ago I wrote a post in this thread about how I was beset by the thought of ending my life. I’d had a tough 12 months, navigating the virus and everything associated with it, trying to manage the loss of my mum last summer and the fact that my physical health had been poor. I wrote about the fact that although I didn’t have a plan to end my life, I couldn’t shake the thought that I was only really one very bad day away from responding in the most negative and most permanent way. 
I left the post up for only a matter of minutes before deciding better of it. It felt like an overshare.
I know at least one poster saw it and responded kindly and helpfully (thankfully not quoting the original post).  

So, now I’m feeling immeasurably better. I feel a sense of the possibility of a brighter future. I’m much more on top of my grief and my health and I came to a realisation that the relationship I was in was a major negative contributory factor to my poor mental health. 

I’m torn in writing this post because I know that back then, my response to seeing such a post back then would have been “good for you but it doesn’t make any difference to my situation” but I did want to lodge an acknowledgement that darkness is not a permanent state. I suspect it may return at some point but right now, I see hope and the chance of a positive future. 
Of course, one might put this down to an upturn in the fortunes of our beloved Villa but I really do think that talking about my concerns with people I trust had a huge impact on me. I’m lucky that I have a couple of people to offload to and who have given me wise counsel. Some might not feel that they are similarly blessed but if you’re in a bad place, please find someone to talk to - even if it’s an online or telephone service. Sometimes just talking about the things that trouble you brings some relief. 
Samaritans are not just for people who’ve downed a bottle of pills or who are stood on a bridge. Call them if you ever feel the need. 116 123. 
 

And if you suspect you’re in a controlling/coercive/abusive relationship - get out. I know the media always tells us it’s women who end up in such a position but it’s not. There’s no shame in being victim to a manipulative person but there is an imperative to remove yourself from the situation. I just wish I’d seen it for what it was much sooner. 

[mottaloo]

13 hours ago, choffer said:

 

And if you suspect you’re in a controlling/coercive/abusive relationship - get out. I know the media always tells us it’s women who end up in such a position but it’s not. There’s no shame in being victim to a manipulative person but there is an imperative to remove yourself from the situation. I just wish I’d seen it for what it was much sooner. 

In my previous job, I dealt with more than the occasional male victim of DV....one in particular, where a 19 stone, 6'4" builder was being physically and mentally abused by his 8st, 5'3" girlfriend. She totally f*cked with his mind and gaslighted the hell out of him.

Hard to believe but as choffer implies, the media narrative is often wrong. There is no shame or stigma attached to this, nor should there be.

[Ingram85]

Feeling like absolute shite the last few days, out of nowhere as well. I have been thinking a lot recently about my childhood, childhood home and seaside holidays. I’ve been watching YT videos about some of the places I’ve been to on holiday as a kid and I genuinely can’t remember the places I’m watching despite knowing I’ve been to them. Then it hit me that these places have probably changed so much in the last 20-30 years that the ‘place’ I remember doesn’t exist today as it did back then. I have a couple of strong memories of a couple of holidays that are emblazoned into my memory but the rest just blur into vagueness. The ones from my teenage years I have no idea about in the main as I’d started to feel at the time that I wasn’t going to fit in much society wise and felt like I was starting to disassociate and withdrawing myself from my family a bit who I felt were more ‘normal’.  Wish I hadn’t done it now knowing what I know about how my life has gone since getting older and out of those depressive late teenage/early adult years. 

Then tonight I’ve spiralled into thinking about my childhood home and how that has probably changed and wondering about who lives there now. It was such a wonderful house to grow up in, just a standard 3 bed semi in Rednal and we weren’t rich or poor but had enough and what we needed. A humble home and upbringing. My Mom and Dad split up 12 years ago and they sold the house about 7 years ago after Mom stayed there for a bit before buying with her current partner. Then it hit me, that place that was my stability, my hideaway from the world outside when things got bad, the place where me and my brother had so many good memories of was no more. I realise now just how much I miss that place. I’ll never get to go in MY room again. I always thought I’d be able to just go back, it was my family’s base. Sunday dinners after moving out. Summers in the garden with my family. Showing my missus and step lad where I grew up. All gone. It’s not fair man. 

Its bullshit what they say about being just bricks and mortar, it’s a hell of a lot deeper than that. Both my Moms and Dads new houses are not home. What’s sadder is that if I ever were to visit the house again it would feel empty as it’s not my home anymore with none of mine or my family’s stuff in it. Sounds stupid but I think I’ve repressed this for the last 5 years but it hurts knowing I’ll probably never step foot in the one place that meant the most to me ever again. Took it for granted while I lived in my own places never thinking I’d never go there again. 

Im sure in a few days I’ll be fine again, this is a process I’ll need to go through and sort out in my head. I’ve still got my mom, my dad and my brother and his family. I just really really really wish I still had that **** awesome family base full of memories to go back to. 

 

[maqroll]

There's a lot of data that links a host of mental health problems in young people, particularly girls, to social media, specifically Instagram. The stuff is poison and a minefield for parents.

 

[maqroll]

I wouldn't knock microdosing just yet. If it can clear the thick fog of depression for people, even for a few weeks, it can only be a good thing. People need relief.