What is your experience of mental health?

[Genie]

Hi @leighavfc only just read your post from 24th June. I hope you’ve moved on now and in a better place. 

[MNVillan]

4 hours ago, chrisp65 said:

My youngest is having a particularly bad summer and its been made worse by some really poor service from the NHS on this. To the point where we’ve cut them out of the equation as they were becoming a major factor.

It’s fascinating to me that it was a subject I knew very little about, and now, if I mention it to anyone, they can almost always reel off their own experiences or those of a close contact.

Good day, good day, good day….. crash, start again, good day, good day…

Keeping to a schedule and pre planning and being single minded and ‘mindfulness’ appears to be the way to go, for us.

That’s what happens to me. I’ll go 2-3 weeks being fine, then hit a wall and have to start over. It usually stems from being burnt out at work, I work long hours in the summer. 
 

When it gets really bad I cut out alcohol and caffeine until I can get it under control again.

[Peckham Wanderer]

On 24/06/2021 at 22:45, leighavfc said:

Here I am again... i feel like that this is the only place to get my words out.. I struggle to talk to people I know, but this place is my sanctuary. I don't post on here often these days and when I do it's about me and my struggles which I'm sorry you all have to read. 

Another day of chaos for me personally... resulting in my partner walking out...

As you may have read in the past I've struggled with drug addiction most of my adult life, and struggling secretly with my mental health. Then of course on top it's the day to day problems you get in every day life which grind you down even more.

Around a year ago we lost the mother in law to covid which was obviously a real sad and bad time for firstly my partner, her dad and sister....then the rest of us around her also like me and the kids. My partner was coping as "well" as she could until a few months ago... but it's really hit her hard recently. This has obviously resulted in a lot of bad days for her and us both as a couple.. it's really been hell at home.. especially these last couple of weeks... arguments, crying, upset.. normal things but on a bigger than normal scale.

Today we found out her sister has covid.... my partner was with her last night also! We've both been stressed about that and what to do etc. We had a bit of a row over.... god knows what tbh! It's been ok for the rest of the day but this evening when I got home she went absolutely mental... about her being depressed and thinking she has ptsd. I try my best to talk to her about it but I'm useless at it. I don't understand it myself and struggle to offer any reasonable advice as I struggle to cope with my stuff too... I haven't even discussed my troubles with her at any point and especially not during this past year. I suggested maybe professional help would help her and get her the proper advice and guidance through it... this was the match to the dynamite stick! She's laid into me big time tonight... really ripped me to shreds and then gone out the door. 

 For a split second I wondered if ending it all would be easier... that's the first time I've ever had this thought in my entire life... I lost my best friend to suicide and quickly remembered the pain of that happening which snapped me out of it. I'm calmer now, especially since writing this.

I bottle all my problems up all the time at the expense of helping others with theirs... that's absolutely the kind of person I am and always have been. It's all getting on top of me now though too and today has just brought it all up again to me. I have nowhere to turn, I struggle to open up, I'm trying to keep everything together at home whilst running a business and a kids football team also... work is so busy at the moment I barely catch a breathe.. it's so tough juggling it all. 

I don't hate my missus for what's happened tonight as I understand she is having a bad moment... the nasty stuff she has said to me whilst some of it is true, some of it is completely unreasonable... but again I can look past that due to her feelings/issues at the moment.

Mentally though its another hammer blow to already badly damaged goods. I'm not good enough, I have baggage, I don't do enough for everybody.... life is not easy for any of us of course and I'm not the only one... I just feel it at the moment and god knows what's coming up in the days ahead. I'm so low at the moment... been sitting here for 2 hours in the dark in silence on/off crying. Life is not good at the moment for me.

Sorry for the long me me me post I needed to put some of my thoughts down somewhere. Thank you for reading, it has brought me down a little and at least I've been able to write this and get it out somewhere. Thanks VillaTalk, your an unusual sanctuary for some like me in times I really need it

 

Where to start? I read your msg at a ridiculously early time this morning (insomnia) & it's been bothering me ever since. I wanted to say something but didn't want to come across as an arse...

You're being unnecessarily hard on yourself. You've had an awful lot to deal with in a short space of time. You can see how recent events have affected your other half, have given her leeway & understand her reactions but you don't do the same for yourself? It's fine being stoic but at the moment it's not helpful. You need to talk to her about your stuff. It may shift a lot of weight off your shoulders. 

Covid has pushed a lot of us into a tailspin, even those who didn't have underlying problems. I've had depression 1/2 my life. My counsellor (by phone) has been a Godsend. I just need to vent mostly, I don't need someone to fix anything, I just need someone to listen. Also, I have used the Samaritans before - they're wonderful at listening, non-judgementally and confidentially and are patient. 

You said you lost your best friend to suicide. I am so sorry. This in itself is a lot to deal with. Talking therapy might help you? Search online for help from suicide/bereavement charities?

And on that note, please don't. It sometimes just takes a little thing to dissuade you. The only time I thought seriously of chucking myself off a bridge (in Dublin) I realised I was wearing a brand new AV bench coat & didn't want to get it wrecked in the mud...

I hope some/any of this has helped. Feel free to give me a shout through DM. Take care.

[jackbauer24]

Approximately 16 months ago I was supposed to be taking part in a 24hr Football Match in aid of Mental Health projects with the Aston Villa Foundation.

This has finally been rescheduled to 31st July, or little under two weeks away.

I'm hoping one of the few pluses to come out of the past few months is that more people understand mental health issues, anxiety, depression, isolation etc.

So, I would love to get a few more sponsors from Villa fans who understand Mental Health issues, for an Aston Villa Foundation project. It couldn't be more tailored for this thread!!

Please, if you can, sponsor me/ the Aston Villa Foundation;

https://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/RussellGoodman2021

All linked officially to the charity and online. Please tick gift aid so the government give us money too!

[Tegis]

8 hours ago, jackbauer24 said:

Please, if you can, sponsor me/ the Aston Villa Foundation;

Done!!! Good work

[chrisvilla4]

I guess this falls under the mental health category. I've started get a 'nervous stomach' over the last few months, had a lot of family and work related stress which has started it off. Last week I barely had it as I had a little time off and less commitments. Yesterday it came back almost instantly after an issue with my son in law, and is with me again today. I can't go out as I'm isolating until Friday - can't wait! But need some tips to alleviate it if anyone has any? I try and exercise regularly but have had a couple of stomach aches that have come on whilst exercising which doesn't help! 

I know I need a break really. 

[A'Villan]

Hope everyone is able to see that they are a blessing and gifted, and if any of us are not seeing that in their mind's eye, or feeling it in their heart of hearts, then please allow yourself this truth..

All seeds have to endure the darkness for a time, and in the dark is where their roots belong and where growth stems from as they navigate the darkness, and through growth, they find their own way to the light and blossom into the miracle of life.

Edit: My Dad had a heart attack a few days ago, he's home, alone. First thing tomorrow morning I am headed to his place to stay for a few days at least.

He at times cannot manage more than two words without beginning to sob or blubber. Very emotional times for him, and has less to do with his recent experience of the heart attack, and more to do with the agony, turmoil and trauma of life.

Since I came of age, I've always given him my patience and the best temperament that my spirit can muster, and I've endured much of the grief and pain with him, because at times it undeniably emanates from his being.

I've had my own battles, some of you here at VT are privy to that on some level, whether from my words directly or perhaps even your own intuition too.

I just wanted to share guys, there's not all that much direction or purpose in this post other than to say that I wish all my fellow VT people my sincerest well wishes, for the here and now, and always.

I have faith in you and you shouldn't assume my reasons for that, assumptions are dangerous things to make, like bombs, get your wires crossed and the next thing you know your reality might be literally or figuratively shattered.

Again, just wanting to share, hope I'm not preaching, I don't see death as being something to lament. We return to the source, as in, where we were before life, nonexistence. Assumptions are dangerous territory, but I wonder about that.

At the end of the day, and I'll end the post on this note, while meaningful discussions and ideas are food for the soul, it is the souls themselves that I hold so dear, and whether the spirit of a soul is eternal, the people they belong to pass on.

Be grateful, be kind. It's not all sunshine and rainbows, and that is why we need kindness. A kind man, kind of man, mankind.

Edited July 29, 2021 by A'Villan

[jackbauer24]

On 19/07/2021 at 00:17, jackbauer24 said:

Approximately 16 months ago I was supposed to be taking part in a 24hr Football Match in aid of Mental Health projects with the Aston Villa Foundation.

This has finally been rescheduled to 31st July, or little under two weeks away.

I'm hoping one of the few pluses to come out of the past few months is that more people understand mental health issues, anxiety, depression, isolation etc.

So, I would love to get a few more sponsors from Villa fans who understand Mental Health issues, for an Aston Villa Foundation project. It couldn't be more tailored for this thread!!

Please, if you can, sponsor me/ the Aston Villa Foundation;

https://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/RussellGoodman2021

All linked officially to the charity and online. Please tick gift aid so the government give us money too!

First time, and last time, I'll ever quote myself!

This is now TOMORROW. I'm a Villa fan, raising money for the Aston Villa Foundation for mental health projects asking Villa fans who are talking about the importance of mental health for support. I couldn't be appealing to a more targeted audience!

Please support if you can, every penny will help. Keep well everyone.

[Peckham Wanderer]

4 hours ago, jackbauer24 said:

First time, and last time, I'll ever quote myself!

This is now TOMORROW. I'm a Villa fan, raising money for the Aston Villa Foundation for mental health projects asking Villa fans who are talking about the importance of mental health for support. I couldn't be appealing to a more targeted audience!

Please support if you can, every penny will help. Keep well everyone.

Done

[jackbauer24]

5 hours ago, Peckham Wanderer said:

Done

Thank you!! 

[jackbauer24]

Thank you @rjw63 !

Maybe I am Jack Bauer and this is just my cover

[Rugeley Villa]

Done 

[MNVillan]

Man, I’ve had a really hard time today. Back in 2019 Mrs MNVillan went through a battle with cancer. For some reason today I’ve been getting lots of flashbacks from bad memories during chemotherapy, and it’s pretty much crippled me mentally. I had to leave work early and come home because I just couldn’t cope.

[Big Salad]

7 hours ago, MNVillan said:

Man, I’ve had a really hard time today. Back in 2019 Mrs MNVillan went through a battle with cancer. For some reason today I’ve been getting lots of flashbacks from bad memories during chemotherapy, and it’s pretty much crippled me mentally. I had to leave work early and come home because I just couldn’t cope.

Hey to hear that pal. Cancer is such a terrible ordeal for any loved ones to go through. Wish ya'll many more happy years together

[Mandy Lifeboats]

15 hours ago, MNVillan said:

Man, I’ve had a really hard time today. Back in 2019 Mrs MNVillan went through a battle with cancer. For some reason today I’ve been getting lots of flashbacks from bad memories during chemotherapy, and it’s pretty much crippled me mentally. I had to leave work early and come home because I just couldn’t cope.

The sounds like PTSD (Post traumatic stress disorder).  Seek help If it continues.  Like most illnesses it’s easier to sort out if treated and not ignored.  

[MNVillan]

3 minutes ago, Mandy Lifeboats said:

The sounds like PTSD (Post traumatic stress disorder).  Seek help If it continues.  Like most illnesses it’s easier to sort out if treated and not ignored.  

It basically is. I’m in therapy for it.

[villa4europe]

kit harrington is the latest to open up about it

said he had to take a year off work following the end of GoT and checked himself in to a wellness facility mainly due to stress and also just because of how intense and gloomy the show was

[Rugeley Villa]

5 hours ago, MNVillan said:

It basically is. I’m in therapy for it.

That’s good. I’ve never got over growing up in an household where the person I loved most was battling cancer. I accepted my grans death , but the whole trauma from diagnosis, to treatment, to the ups and downs left a big scar on what was at the time a young kid. Truly awful disease and it really does effect families in a big way. Genuinely wish you and your wife the best of luck . 

[leighavfc]

On 16/07/2021 at 09:26, Genie said:

Hi @leighavfc only just read your post from 24th June. I hope you’ve moved on now and in a better place. 

Cheers mate, I am in a much better place at the moment thank you.... things have settled down at home and in general which is good and definitely helping me through....well apart from a certain footballer leaving today but that's a minor issue to deal with in life !!

Thanks for reaching out

[leighavfc]

On 17/07/2021 at 22:28, Peckham Wanderer said:

Where to start? I read your msg at a ridiculously early time this morning (insomnia) & it's been bothering me ever since. I wanted to say something but didn't want to come across as an arse...

You're being unnecessarily hard on yourself. You've had an awful lot to deal with in a short space of time. You can see how recent events have affected your other half, have given her leeway & understand her reactions but you don't do the same for yourself? It's fine being stoic but at the moment it's not helpful. You need to talk to her about your stuff. It may shift a lot of weight off your shoulders. 

Covid has pushed a lot of us into a tailspin, even those who didn't have underlying problems. I've had depression 1/2 my life. My counsellor (by phone) has been a Godsend. I just need to vent mostly, I don't need someone to fix anything, I just need someone to listen. Also, I have used the Samaritans before - they're wonderful at listening, non-judgementally and confidentially and are patient. 

You said you lost your best friend to suicide. I am so sorry. This in itself is a lot to deal with. Talking therapy might help you? Search online for help from suicide/bereavement charities?

And on that note, please don't. It sometimes just takes a little thing to dissuade you. The only time I thought seriously of chucking myself off a bridge (in Dublin) I realised I was wearing a brand new AV bench coat & didn't want to get it wrecked in the mud...

I hope some/any of this has helped. Feel free to give me a shout through DM. Take care.

Hi @Peckham Wanderer

First of all apologies I havent replied to you! Life has been a million miles an hour recently as per usual!

Thank you for reaching out, it means a lot for people to listen and react to the feelings I expressed in here. I like you dont need fixing but just need someone to listen to me most of the time to let it all out. I do struggle with it most of the times but in the right situation I can. Those situations being my best mate who I dont get to see too often due to commitments etc and then on here believe or not. I find it much easier to communicate with strangers over tough subjects like this.

Things at much calmer at home after my post the other week. After initially taking my see a doctor comment the wrong way a couple of weeks back, my partner is now having regular counselling sessions with a professional which is a positive. She has commented how much its helping her, seems to me like she is in a better place at the moment also. We both had a long chat about things the day after the bust up and have tried to implement things to help along the way in our day to day life. We try and check in once a week when kids are in bed to keep on top of what's going on in each others heads. Been tough for me to open up, I feel stupid for some reason at times??? I am getting a little better at it though! Importantly though everything at the moment is at least ok so for once we are feeling in a good place in our minds. 

I used Samaritans the night of my OP, that helped me soooooo much and opened up an avenue for help which I had never used before. Huge amount of love and respect for them, I'm absolutely going to raise/donate money to them at some point as they are a vital service, especially nowadays.

Sounds like you have been through some rough times too mate, and I'm glad that you didn't do it either.. the coat thing made me smile as that is exactly the kind of absolute minute thing in this world that would stop me too!!

Thanks for your post, nothing arsey about it. Straight talking which is what I like. I will certainly DM you! Offer is there to you also mate if i can help at all