bickster Posted January 31, 2018 Moderator Share Posted January 31, 2018 17 minutes ago, tonyh29 said: My new car is a hybrid .... a small part of me likes to think whoever hit my car thought yogurt knitting rocket polisher I’ll teach him ... Audi at the front, Merc at the back? A posh cut and shut? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post NurembergVillan Posted February 1, 2018 Moderator Popular Post Share Posted February 1, 2018 14 hours ago, Ikantcpell said: I dont have female friends,they are just girls i havent **** yet. 3 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharkyvilla Posted February 1, 2018 Share Posted February 1, 2018 Got the gasman doing a check on the boiler in the bathroom and I need a poo quite badly. Hurry up FFS. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted February 1, 2018 Share Posted February 1, 2018 More BS spread on social media (by a female again). Apparently the iphone can, if you use the SOS function, ping the nearest police station and they will send an officer to your exact location. Good luck with that when you're being DUTWU in a dark alley outside the nightclub. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Designer1 Posted February 1, 2018 VT Supporter Share Posted February 1, 2018 6 minutes ago, rjw63 said: Good luck with that when you're being DUTWU in a dark alley outside the nightclub. Didn't it work then Rob? 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted February 1, 2018 Share Posted February 1, 2018 5 minutes ago, Designer1 said: Didn't it work then Rob? I'm trying to be serious here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dAVe80 Posted February 1, 2018 Share Posted February 1, 2018 39 minutes ago, rjw63 said: More BS spread on social media (by a female again). Apparently the iphone can, if you use the SOS function, ping the nearest police station and they will send an officer to your exact location. Good luck with that when you're being DUTWU in a dark alley outside the nightclub. So (if it were true) the moral of the story for would be attackers, is to steal their iPhone before carrying on with the attack? Nice of them to give rapists tips on social media. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyh29 Posted February 1, 2018 Share Posted February 1, 2018 1 hour ago, rjw63 said: More BS spread on social media (by a female again). Apparently the iphone can, if you use the SOS function, ping the nearest police station and they will send an officer to your exact location. Good luck with that when you're being DUTWU in a dark alley outside the nightclub. my favourite was always the if you if you are being made to take money out of an ATM under duress enter your pin number backwards and it calls the police Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rodders0223 Posted February 1, 2018 Share Posted February 1, 2018 Archiving rubbish. Why do you always run out of lids before you run out of boxes? Who is stealing all the **** lids? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheAuthority Posted February 1, 2018 VT Supporter Share Posted February 1, 2018 clearings in the woods on planes reading a newspaper and elbowing me every 2 mins. Completely in my personal space. Gonna give him a swift dig to the ribs in a minute. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted February 1, 2018 Share Posted February 1, 2018 3 minutes ago, TheAuthority said: clearings in the woods on planes reading a newspaper and elbowing me every 2 mins. Completely in my personal space. Gonna give him a swift dig to the ribs in a minute. Take him hostage. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheAuthority Posted February 1, 2018 VT Supporter Share Posted February 1, 2018 1 minute ago, Rugeley Villa said: Take him hostage. Haha - doesn't tend to go down too well over here in the current climate. Just moved seats as the row in front was empty 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xann Posted February 1, 2018 Share Posted February 1, 2018 22 hours ago, chrisp65 said: boy's got issues The chap in the poster was an utter, utter tool. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turvontour Posted February 1, 2018 Share Posted February 1, 2018 More embarassing than pisses me off but...... When the waiter comes to the table to check "Is everything OK with your meals?" and I've already finished. Awkward. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Paddywhack Posted February 1, 2018 Popular Post Share Posted February 1, 2018 2 work moans - They’re quite flexible with what hours you work at our place, most people start at 8, only take half an hour lunch and leave at half 3. We’ve each got to have a days training over the next two weeks and they told us in a meeting that we’d have to work 9-5 on that one day but they’ll work something out if people have trouble with childcare. Fitnessprick pipes up, “I don’t know if I can stay until 5, I usually get to the gym by 4. That’s leg day”. Team leader shrugs, says “sorry, you’ll have to stay. There’s a free lunch though”. He replies “I doubt it’s chicken and broccolli though is it? That’s what I usually have for lunch”. Second one, we have an annual awards evening. Nothing too serious, just a few drinks and some certificates. There’s some real awards like best team, best team leader etc, then a few joke ones like rear of the year and the Usain Bolt award (quickest to leave). The guy who sits next to me (who is a right bitchy gossip) was really looking forward to this years and was planning his evening. When we got our nomination sheets he revelled in telling me who he’d nominated in previous years. All very humorous, ironic votes, so the biggest guy in the office got his rear of the year vote, the guy with long, scruffy hair got the best hair vote and so on. A week later we got the nominations, he was down for best hair (it’s like Karl Pilkington’s in Derek), best dressed (he dresses like worzel gummidge) and a couple of others. He went in a right mood. “Forget it, I’m not going just to be laughed at”. 2 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted February 1, 2018 VT Supporter Share Posted February 1, 2018 This hasn't happened to me recently, but the careers thread reminded me of it. When you send your CV to a recruiter or recruitment site, and they forward it on to potential employers, but they've put it into their own shitty format rather than forwarding your original document. That shit matters! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Albrighton Posted February 1, 2018 VT Supporter Share Posted February 1, 2018 24 minutes ago, Paddywhack said: 2 work moans - They’re quite flexible with what hours you work at our place, most people start at 8, only take half an hour lunch and leave at half 3. We’ve each got to have a days training over the next two weeks and they told us in a meeting that we’d have to work 9-5 on that one day but they’ll work something out if people have trouble with childcare. Fitnessprick pipes up, “I don’t know if I can stay until 5, I usually get to the gym by 4. That’s leg day”. Team leader shrugs, says “sorry, you’ll have to stay. There’s a free lunch though”. He replies “I doubt it’s chicken and broccolli though is it? That’s what I usually have for lunch”. Second one, we have an annual awards evening. Nothing too serious, just a few drinks and some certificates. There’s some real awards like best team, best team leader etc, then a few joke ones like rear of the year and the Usain Bolt award (quickest to leave). The guy who sits next to me (who is a right bitchy gossip) was really looking forward to this years and was planning his evening. When we got our nomination sheets he revelled in telling me who he’d nominated in previous years. All very humorous, ironic votes, so the biggest guy in the office got his rear of the year vote, the guy with long, scruffy hair got the best hair vote and so on. A week later we got the nominations, he was down for best hair (it’s like Karl Pilkington’s in Derek), best dressed (he dresses like worzel gummidge) and a couple of others. He went in a right mood. “Forget it, I’m not going just to be laughed at”. I’ve been involved in organising a few staff awards, they can get a little tricky at times. Bit surprised they have a “rear of the year” award though! Fitnessprick needs to be force fed cold sausage rolls and stale sandwiches from the corporate buffet. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisp65 Posted February 1, 2018 Share Posted February 1, 2018 2 hours ago, Xann said: The chap in the poster was an utter, utter tool. I don't just throw this shit together. He had an 'interesting' story arc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paddywhack Posted February 1, 2018 Share Posted February 1, 2018 16 minutes ago, Shropshire Lad said: I’ve been involved in organising a few staff awards, they can get a little tricky at times. Bit surprised they have a “rear of the year” award though! Fitnessprick needs to be force fed cold sausage rolls and stale sandwiches from the corporate buffet. Yeah, that one got dropped this year actually. It creeps back every now and then, I’m guessing when there’s been enough of a turnover of staff and the new bottoms need assessing. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xann Posted February 1, 2018 Share Posted February 1, 2018 (edited) 13 minutes ago, chrisp65 said: I don't just throw this shit together. He had an 'interesting' story arc. It's not my scene, but friends are well in it. I remember he was pwoper narsty ... Hmmm how did it go for him again? A really surprising number of the most hate filled ended up with ladyboys in Thailand. Can't remember if it was him though? You know the story? Do remind me, please Edited February 1, 2018 by Xann Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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