Christmas 2022

[Xann]

26 minutes ago, Chindie said:

In short, **** Secret Santa. I'd rather eat the money.

Baby Black Bomber from Waitrose?

Smidge over a fiver.

[Genie]

A couple of months of p*rnhub premium.

[sidcow]

1 hour ago, Chindie said:

I never do Secret Santa. At every job I've ever had, I carefully avoided being involved in it.

Until now.

I've been co-opted into it this year. I **** hate it.

I like the person I've been assigned. I know a little about them but none of the things I know help with getting a gift that meets the brief - their interests either go well over the budget, or simply don't really 'go' for gifts, and they don't drink so the crap bottle of wine doesn't work either. I don't want to get something for them that is totally generic, as what's the **** point then, and equally I don't want to waste the money just getting any old random shit.

In short, **** Secret Santa. I'd rather eat the money.

We've literally just had a vote about if we do a secret Santa for our tean Xmas Party. 

I said yes. 20 said no

Edited December 6, 2022 by sidcow

[Demitri_C]

27 minutes ago, sidcow said:

We've literally just had a vote about if we do a secret Santa for our tean Xmas Party. 

I said yes. 20 said no

You might wanna send your job details to chindie sounds like he would like working there 

[fightoffyour]

38 minutes ago, sidcow said:

We've literally just had a vote about if we do a secret Santa for our tean Xmas Party. 

I said yes. 20 said no

egoorcS

[Xela]

I'm another who can't stand secret santa. I like some of my colleagues. Sometimes. Not enough to spend £5 on them though. 

[bickster]

4 hours ago, sidcow said:

We've literally just had a vote about if we do a secret Santa for our tean Xmas Party. 

I said yes. 20 said no

Well its obviously a typo but it certiainly raises questions

[Davkaus]

I don't even like buying family presents, never mind colleagues. It's not the money, it's the stress of trying to buy them something good so they don't have to pretend to like some shit. Secret Santa isn't for me

[sidcow]

Years ago we did a secret Santa at work and Hustler had just opened up a sex shop in Brum (where Burger King is now). It was described as the American chain that would destroy Ann Summers. 

Hustler featured very heavily in the gifts. 

There were a substantial number of Dildos, a couple of sets of love balls and some specific anal lube, plus a few other things I forget. 

Simpler times.  People would get sacked now. 

I was dreading what I would find in my small gift. Hey presto, a set of Aston Villa cufflinks. Result. 

[il_serpente]

3 hours ago, sidcow said:

Years ago we did a secret Santa at work and Hustler had just opened up a sex shop in Brum (where Burger King is now). It was described as the American chain that would destroy Ann Summers. 

Hustler featured very heavily in the gifts. 

There were a substantial number of Dildos, a couple of sets of love balls and some specific anal lube, plus a few other things I forget. 

Simpler times.  People would get sacked now. 

I was dreading what I would find in my small gift. Hey presto, a set of Aston Villa cufflinks. Result. 

did they come packaged with the ana...oh, never mind.

[It's Your Round]

I also hate secret Santa.  
 

This first time I was invited to play, I drew the joker of the team out of the hat. A big fat geordie lad who was the self-proclaimed ‘king of banter’. Excellent, I thought, he’ll be totally aligned to my understanding of what secret Santa is - joke presents for fun, rather than any serious gifts. 

The irritated look on his face said that I was way more impressed with the extra small pack of condoms, tub of lube and grow your own girlfriend kit, than he was. 

It turns out that people take this secret Santa thing very seriously. In my next job people would create lists of things that they want should you be lucky enough to draw them. Fun, jokey or generic gifts aren’t wanted. 

My second attempt after joining new company was much more thoughtful but still failed to impress. I drew a lad that I’d been getting to know, we shared some common ground and had discussed various things from our youth, including Sega Megadrive games. His missus had just bought him one and he was well into a nostalgia trip. I mentioned Micro Machines being a game I spent 100’s of hours on and he said it was one of his favourite games. So, I tracked down a copy and bought him that. He would never expect it and I’d show I can listen and buy good things. 

His un-disguised disappointed face suggested that he probably didn’t have a Megadrive after all, he never mentioned gaming again and it was all a bit awkward. 

Ever since then I’ve avoided it, it’s too much hassle and stress for very little benefit. I don’t want £10 worth of tat from someone that doesn’t know me, and they the same. And as for handing out lists of things you want? No, you’re not family, and it’s not in keeping with what I think secret Santa should be about. 

[Mark Albrighton]

I once received a rather nice scarf from a secret Santa, still wear it now as it happens. Definitely the best thing I’ve received when participating in one of these.

One time, my boss found out that a colleague (who already wasn’t in her good books) had bought a crap present for another co worker. I can’t remember how she knew this, but she did. Anyway my boss swapped the name tags round, and maybe changed the wrapping paper, so the crap present giver received their own present back. 

I was once put in charge of organising it and I did that sitcom-esque move of putting my name on every ticket in the draw. Basically to see if it would actually work.

And it did, no one compared notes with other work colleagues, as it were. After a short while I sent an email out, informing them that we’d need to do the draw again - due to “technical issues”. 

[Demitri_C]

15 hours ago, Davkaus said:

I don't even like buying family presents, never mind colleagues. It's not the money, it's the stress of trying to buy them something good so they don't have to pretend to like some shit. Secret Santa isn't for me

Yeah but they won't know its you so can deliberately buy them a shit gift and they wouldnt know

I once got someone i dont get on with so i just got some tins of cat food and fairy liquid. Everyone thought it was hilarous even though they didnt know who it was from

Edited December 7, 2022 by Demitri_C

[AndyClarke]

I got added to a Secret Santa draw whilst working as a contractor, nobody told me this until the day before present giving, (they didn't tell me that bit either). The recipient of the £5 gift was not impressed that she had been the only one to "miss out" as I'd not brought anything in....This despite me having no idea and not being in that day anyway.

Anyhow, she handed me a post it note the next time I was in with the names of the 2 lipsticks that she wanted and spent the rest of the morning repeatedly commenting on how disappointed she had been not to have received anything when everyone else did.

I now make it very clear that I don't want to be involved.

[mjmooney]

I once made the mistake of volunteering to organise the team Xmas meal. As you know, I'm not crazy about curries, buy my stance had always been "I don't mind, I'll eat anything, and I'll go wherever everybody prefers". But I asked, and got the most pernickity set of requests imaginable. Must be vegan. Must be vegetarian. Can be vegetarian but must not be vegan. Will do Indian, but won't do Italian. Will do Indian but won't do English. Will only do English. Must be in a certain area. Must be on a particular day. Must be at a particular time. Must be cheap. Must be upmarket. 

Can't remember now what happened, but I know I felt like telling them all to **** off. 

[Xela]

Best Secret Santa gift I had was from a lad who had just started and sat next to me. He cleverly deduced from my bushy beard and portly frame that I was a fan of the real ale. He got me a Hobgoblin selection box, which came with a Hobgoblin pint glass. Result! 

[Xela]

9 hours ago, Mark Albrighton said:

I was once put in charge of organising it and I did that sitcom-esque move of putting my name on every ticket in the draw. Basically to see if it would actually work.

And it did, no one compared notes with other work colleagues, as it were. After a short while I sent an email out, informing them that we’d need to do the draw again - due to “technical issues”. 

You could get a job at FIFA with that level of corruption  

[Talldarkandransome]

I kin hate Christmas 

[mottaloo]

On 07/12/2022 at 18:00, Xela said:

Best Secret Santa gift I had was from a lad who had just started and sat next to me. He cleverly deduced from my bushy beard and portly frame that I was a fan of the real ale. He got me a Hobgoblin selection box, which came with a Hobgoblin pint glass. Result! 

He also deduced that from your vocabulary, using such words as quaff, mouthfeel (kw), your Camra RAT badge and referring to any landlord as "mein host"

[Xela]

1 hour ago, mottaloo said:

He also deduced that from your vocabulary, using such words as quaff, mouthfeel (kw), your Camra RAT badge and referring to any landlord as "mein host"

Thats a bitter response... and when i say bitter I mean malty, with hoppy overtones and a sharp finish. Reminds me of a few foaming flagons of Fuggles Volecatcher that I imbibed at the Kings Tavern in Chipping Camden, in the summer of '08. Halcyon days, my liege.