Popular Post lapal_fan Posted March 8, 2022 Popular Post Share Posted March 8, 2022 35 minutes ago, Rodders said: that pressure to make you choose is so **** up it's making me angry on your behalf . You shouldn't be under any pressure to commit to her, that would be flashing alarm bells about a future life. Would she then be angry with you if in a couple of years you just feel it's too much and you can't do it anymore? Mate, someone at 5-a-side taking more than 2 touches pisses you off, I don't think you're needed here 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rodders0223 Posted March 8, 2022 Share Posted March 8, 2022 Am I reading this correct and over simplifying - forgive and be a family or the pregnancy can't go through? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davkaus Posted March 8, 2022 Share Posted March 8, 2022 51 minutes ago, Rodders said: that pressure to make you choose is so **** up it's making me angry on your behalf . You shouldn't be under any pressure to commit to her, that would be flashing alarm bells about a future life. Would she then be angry with you if in a couple of years you just feel it's too much and you can't do it anymore? This was my initial reaction, but I can kind of see it from her perspective of not wanting to be a single mum of a new born, send take on the financial instability, etc. It's a shit situation to be in, she brought it on herself, and it initially made me think it was emotional blackmail, but taking the emotion out of it, it's easy to see why someone doesn't want to make that kind of commitment as a single mother. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rodders0223 Posted March 8, 2022 Share Posted March 8, 2022 3 minutes ago, Davkaus said: This was my initial reaction, but I can kind of see it from her perspective of not wanting to be a single mum of a new born, send take on the financial instability, etc. It's a shit situation to be in, she brought it on herself, and it initially made me think it was emotional blackmail, but taking the emotion out of it, it's easy to see why someone doesn't want to make that kind of commitment as a single mother. The logic is sound on it and you can understand the worries - but at this moment in time I don't think it's even right to bring it up. It does look really really manipulative.. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ingram85 Posted March 8, 2022 Share Posted March 8, 2022 (edited) 26 minutes ago, lapal_fan said: Mate, someone at 5-a-side taking more than 2 touches pisses you off, I don't think you're needed here Edit: Wrong Rodders. Edited March 8, 2022 by Ingram85 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post rjw63 Posted March 8, 2022 Popular Post Share Posted March 8, 2022 1 minute ago, El Zen said: I’m not sure how smart it was, but we just had sex. Pretty good sex too. Nice to see I could feel desire for her, at least. Pics or GTFO 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted March 8, 2022 Share Posted March 8, 2022 5 minutes ago, El Zen said: I’m not sure how smart it was, but we just had sex. Pretty good sex too. Nice to see I could feel desire for her, at least. Well guys.. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted March 8, 2022 Share Posted March 8, 2022 Some good advice over the last few pages. Everything I wanted to say has been said far more eloquently than I could. Good luck @El Zen 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted March 8, 2022 Share Posted March 8, 2022 5 minutes ago, Xela said: Good luck @El Zen He just had it a few minutes ago 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foreveryoung Posted March 8, 2022 Share Posted March 8, 2022 5 minutes ago, El Zen said: The sex doesn’t fix anything, but it might be an indication about what I really want. Which I suppose is good news. It’ll be the biggest test of my life, but I’ll try. It’s up to me, it can only happen on my terms, and if my heart is in it. We’ll see. I’ve told her I’m not ruling anything out at the minute. That’s all I can give her, really, and all she’s asking at the moment. Sex always brings out all sorts of emotions, especially with an ex, an makes it feel all good, most have been there,. Just be careful mate and good luck 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonesy7211 Posted March 8, 2022 Share Posted March 8, 2022 14 minutes ago, El Zen said: Don’t worry. I’m still completely broken and feel like shit Living with the black dog is so hard. If you can, speak to your GP or local crisis team. Speak to them about how you feel. It won't make your issues go away, but in time you may be able to cope so much better with the mental anguish of what you're going through. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Ingram85 Posted March 8, 2022 Popular Post Share Posted March 8, 2022 Should have smashed her back doors in then literally seconds after finishing whisper in her ear that she’s dumped. Pull out. Go and play Xbox. 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a m ole Posted March 8, 2022 Share Posted March 8, 2022 1 hour ago, El Zen said: The sex doesn’t fix anything, but it might be an indication about what I really want. Which I suppose is good news. It’ll be the biggest test of my life, but I’ll try. It’s up to me, it can only happen on my terms, and if my heart is in it. We’ll see. I’ve told her I’m not ruling anything out at the minute. That’s all I can give her, really, and all she’s asking at the moment. My man, take some time away from her. Clear your head. Then make a call. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mottaloo Posted March 8, 2022 Share Posted March 8, 2022 Well, I didn't see that happening Hey ho, good luck, still. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Davkaus Posted March 8, 2022 Popular Post Share Posted March 8, 2022 1 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a m ole Posted March 8, 2022 Share Posted March 8, 2022 1 minute ago, El Zen said: I might still do that. Just don’t want to abandon my kid, but trying to get away for a few days is probably wise. Good man, stay in touch with the kid of course, just try not to make any rash decisions (again ) without collecting your thoughts, talking it through logically with a few people, I’m sure you already have but speak to your closest friend and be open about how you feel and try to think about what is best for YOU and your kid. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted March 8, 2022 Share Posted March 8, 2022 Gave this thread to the wife to read tonight, she was genuinely impressed at the depth of feeling emanating from a bunch of football fans. Insert amusing comment here. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a m ole Posted March 8, 2022 Share Posted March 8, 2022 (edited) 1 hour ago, El Zen said: The other thing that stops me from taking some alone time is how insanely fragile I feel, emotionally. I’m not sure how safe it would be for me to be alone and isolated at the moment. If you’ve got anyone close you can stay with, and trust with this sensitive info, I think that would be the best call. I think that tells you, you need it though. Parents place? Sibling? Edited March 8, 2022 by a m ole 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davkaus Posted March 8, 2022 Share Posted March 8, 2022 I've got some decorating that needs doing if you need a place to stay and something to keep you busy, El Zen 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
il_serpente Posted March 9, 2022 VT Supporter Share Posted March 9, 2022 5 hours ago, Ingram85 said: Should have smashed her back doors in then literally seconds after finishing whisper in her ear that she’s dumped. Pull out. Go and play Xbox. If ever there was a time to pull the old angry pirate this would be it! All kidding aside, good luck working through this @El Zen. I'm impressed with the thoughtful advice being dispensed by the crew here. As someone suggested earlier, only you can decide whether a good person did a bad thing or someone you thought was a good person was actually not such a good person after all. It's good to hear that her parents are supportive of you. If her good qualities eventually overcome the trust issues and you're able to fall back in love with her, at least you know you've got an environment that will give you the best possible chance of making things work as a family. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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