Paddy's "Things that cheer you up"

[Rds1983]

15 minutes ago, Genie said:

Ours are unisex so there’s the added paranoia that you’re shitting the place up a few inches away from the office hottie.

Could be worse. You could find out the office hottie is the one playing the toilet trumpet. 

[troon_villan]

27 minutes ago, Xela said:

Some people don't play the game though. They're the sort of person who would use the middle cubicle in a row of three, if they were all vacant. Absolute charlatans. 

There's only two traps in our Gents.  If there were three then it would at least leave a bit of guesswork as to who was making the specific noises (burst out laughing as I typed that...haha)

If there are 3 and they are all vacant then you go for the furthest away imo.  Etiquette.  

[troon_villan]

28 minutes ago, Genie said:

Ours are unisex so there’s the added paranoia that you’re shitting the place up a few inches away from the office hottie.

Crikey, that's a whole new level of anxiety I have no desire to navigate!  I'm fairly certain the ladies are actually worse than the guys, no matter how deep we bury our heads in the sand about that topic.

[chrisp65]

1 hour ago, AVFC_Hitz said:

I doubt any of you care but the Manic Street Preachers have beaten Steps to have their first number one album in 23 years.

That's cheered me up, cos I 'kin love the Manics.

 

 

Be honest, you’d never put those three together if you were building a boy band.

 

[AVFC_Hitz]

17 minutes ago, chrisp65 said:

 

 

Be honest, you’d never put those three together if you were building a boy band.

 

Where's Richie?

[Genie]

I went to see the Manics about 3 years ago in Birmingham.

[foreveryoung]

Back onto the having a poo topic. I cannot believe you guys have a poo at work. I don't think I ever have, unless I really had too, like really had too. It's the written rule, no poo poos at work.

[bickster]

Just now, foreveryoung said:

Back onto the having a poo topic. I cannot believe you guys have a poo at work. I don't think I ever have, unless I really had too, like really had too. It's the written rule, no poo poos at work.

9:30 - 10:00 Bicks has a shit. Every day

Why shit on your own time when you can get paid for it

[chrisp65]

9 minutes ago, AVFC_Hitz said:

Where's Richie?

Caerphilly County Borough hide and seek champion, 26 years undefeated.

 

[Davkaus]

1 hour ago, troon_villan said:

If there are 3 and they are all vacant then you go for the furthest away imo.  Etiquette.  

There was an early episode of mythbusters that looked into the premise that people were lazy and so would go the closest, so for the cleanest stall, you should go for the furthest.  But it turns out most people actually go for the furthest, so the closest one gets significantly less use. I changed my stall selection habits immediately and now always go for the closest.

[Amsterdam_Neil_D]

16 minutes ago, foreveryoung said:

Back onto the having a poo topic. I cannot believe you guys have a poo at work. I don't think I ever have, unless I really had too, like really had too. It's the written rule, no poo poos at work.

220 work days a year * Avg Visit time = X

X * 40 ish years working  = a lot of time. 

Best use theirs rather than your time.  + loo roll over that time.

[sidcow]

9 minutes ago, Davkaus said:

There was an early episode of mythbusters that looked into the premise that people were lazy and so would go the closest, so for the cleanest stall, you should go for the furthest.  But it turns out most people actually go for the furthest, so the closest one gets significantly less use. I changed my stall selection habits immediately and now always go for the closest.

God yeah.  If I need a shit I'm going to the absolute nearest one.  No way I'm driving to John O'Groats trying to hold a load in. 

[Seat68]

I have been having extended shits at work for the last 18 months. Sometimes leave the door open. 

[foreveryoung]

Maybe I am just mentally scarred. Back in the old building where I used to work, the toilets used to be in like a separate room, with the Kitchen, single cubicle mens and ladies toilets. So basically if you had a number 2, you would flush, an sometimes walk out, just as the office hottie was coming out of the kitchen with her posh salad, or after doing her face in the cubicle right next to you. It could be very embarrassing if you'd been on the lash or had a vindaloo the night before.

[Seat68]

In fairness, during the last 18 months I have been the office hottie. 

[Xela]

28 minutes ago, foreveryoung said:

Back onto the having a poo topic. I cannot believe you guys have a poo at work. I don't think I ever have, unless I really had too, like really had too. It's the written rule, no poo poos at work.

Unfortunately having a chronic disease means I don't have that choice!  

[foreveryoung]

2 minutes ago, Xela said:

Unfortunately having a chronic disease means I don't have that choice!  

I remember being stuck in stationary traffic on the M1 once,  had a dodgy curry the night before, so I may know how you feel. Never never again.

[tonyh29]

At the Isle of Wight festival , fairly near the front for the James set … some Instgrmana wannabe pushes past  everyone , gets into position and starts doing her poses… does her photos looks at them on her phone and  sees me In the background of every photo looking pissed, tongue out , sticking my fiingers up

tuts loudly And storms  off

 

My work Here is done 

[AlwaysAVFC]

1 hour ago, bickster said:

9:30 - 10:00 Bicks has a shit. Every day

Why shit on your own time when you can get paid for it

Definitely my motto at work also. 

At a couple of places I also set myself a challenge to use as many toilets as I could. One previous job was at Bath Uni, not sure whether I completed all male/unisex public toilets on campus but can't have been far off in my time there. 

Spoiler

Can't claim credit for this one a few years ago though

 

[Genie]

9 minutes ago, tonyh29 said:

At the Isle of Wight festival , fairly near the front for the James set … some Instgrmana wannabe pushes past  everyone , gets into position and starts doing her poses… does her photos looks at them on her phone and  sees me In the background of every photo looking pissed, tongue out , sticking my fiingers up

tuts loudly And storms  off

 

My work Here is done 

I went to see Oasis in Manchester in about 2001/2 kind of time. 
Some hard bastard thought he was gonna turn up last minute and push his way to the front. Turns out there’s always a bigger fish. It was hilarious for everyone else and he scuttled back trying to collect as much blood from his nose as possible.