tonyh29 Posted November 15, 2017 Share Posted November 15, 2017 My local water company spent enough time replacing the pipework down our road with these new pipes so large you can escape from a gold heist through them in mini's so baby wipes are fair game .... not sure about Nappies , but hopefully I'm a good few years away from my incontinence phase and requiring them 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NurembergVillan Posted November 15, 2017 Moderator Share Posted November 15, 2017 42 minutes ago, tonyh29 said: My local water company spent enough time replacing the pipework down our road with these new pipes so large you can escape from a gold heist through them in mini's so baby wipes are fair game .... not sure about Nappies , but hopefully I'm a good few years away from my incontinence phase and requiring them I'll post my used wipes to you then, and you can send em down your posh new tubes 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blandy Posted November 15, 2017 Moderator Share Posted November 15, 2017 7 hours ago, Seat68 said: Side knees up. I only went in for a cold. And was it? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted November 15, 2017 Moderator Share Posted November 15, 2017 3 hours ago, NurembergVillan said: Best way is to go the "Greek holiday" route with nappy bags and a pedal bin. Remember to empty the bin regularly... Or learn to wipe yer hole properly you feral savages. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HanoiVillan Posted November 15, 2017 Share Posted November 15, 2017 3 hours ago, Stevo985 said: I am flushing them. I didn't know it was an issue. I shall consider an alternative. Yeah, they're the one of the main reasons for the creation of 'fatbergs', which are enormous congealed blocks of garbage that fill our ancient Victorian sewers. The name is somewhat misleading, as the fat wouldn't be such an enormous problem if it didn't bind together solid items, including baby wipes: 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob182 Posted November 15, 2017 Share Posted November 15, 2017 I had no idea the ancient Victorians had baby wipes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NurembergVillan Posted November 15, 2017 Moderator Share Posted November 15, 2017 18 minutes ago, BOF said: Or learn to wipe yer hole properly you feral savages. That IS doing it properly. I'd challenge anyone to a blot test. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted November 15, 2017 Moderator Share Posted November 15, 2017 1 minute ago, NurembergVillan said: That IS doing it properly. I'd challenge anyone to a blot test. Next time I'm over. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted November 15, 2017 VT Supporter Share Posted November 15, 2017 3 hours ago, Rob182 said: I had no idea the ancient Victorians had baby wipes. They didn't. Which is why the sewers were OK for them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted November 15, 2017 Share Posted November 15, 2017 On 11/13/2017 at 17:13, NurembergVillan said: I remember listening to a conversation between Russell Brand and Matt Morgan, where Matt was explaining why he was a fan of the bidet and why wiping alone wasn't enough. "If you've just eaten a curry, do you wipe the plate with a piece of kitchen roll and put it back in the cupboard or do you wash it properly?" I don't own a bidet, so theoretically I "wipe with kitchen roll and put it back in the cupboard". And that's pretty rank when you think about it. I don't know about you but i'm not going to be eating curry off someone's arsehole. The cleanliness of a plate and your anus are at different levels Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted November 15, 2017 Share Posted November 15, 2017 9 hours ago, Stevo985 said: I am flushing them. I didn't know it was an issue. I shall consider an alternative. Throw them out the window. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted November 15, 2017 Share Posted November 15, 2017 5 hours ago, NurembergVillan said: That IS doing it properly. I'd challenge anyone to a blot test. You old romantic, you. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Rugeley Villa Posted November 15, 2017 Popular Post Share Posted November 15, 2017 (edited) What is it with me and shit tales. I foolishly heated up some fresh fish that had already been cooked, then had some for my dinner. The left over fish was then made into sandwiches, wrapped up in tin foil and left on the side for work. Fast forward to 11 o'clock today and I start feeling a bit unwell. By 1 I'm throwing up on the roof, like 7 or 8 times. Next thing I know the foreman comes up to inspect something exactly in the spot I've been throwing up in. The daft sod never noticed it, and before I could tell him about the puddle of sick, hes kneeling down in it. Me and my work mate are just looking at each other and thinking WTF, whilst my other work mate has to walk off because he's pissing himself. After inspecting whatever it was he was looking at,he then stood up and just walked off with all sick down his one leg. Its now 2 in the afternoon and I'm absolutely wasted and can't do anything, so I go and get in the van and try to have a sleep. The lads come down at 3.30 just in time to watch me throwing up in a bucket. I empty the bucket and decide I have not got the shits yet, but I know it's coming. As soon as we get on the ******* motorway from coventry, BANG! I need a shit. I have no choice but to empty myself into a bucket much to the horror of my work colleagues. 10 times I needed to empty myself whilst coming back from Coventry and the bucket was a quarter full of liquified shit. The van absolutely stunk. I had naff all to wipe my arse with, so just had to grin and bear it. We managed to get rid of the bucket coming out of Lichfield. Still throwing up now. In bed hoping to sleep it off by tomorrow. Those bloody foreign fish Edited November 15, 2017 by Rugeley Villa 3 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisp65 Posted November 15, 2017 Share Posted November 15, 2017 48 minutes ago, Xela said: Throw them out the window. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Posted November 15, 2017 Share Posted November 15, 2017 Any word on what has happened on M42, seems very vague on details for some reason. “Body found on the carriageway” no mention or hint of why must be some basic assumption? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paddywhack Posted November 16, 2017 Share Posted November 16, 2017 Okay, let's talk about the elephant in the room. We all know what day it is today. It's a year to the day that I last won poster of the day. This is far too long for a good man like me and obviously you guys are consistently overlooking what a wonderful contributor I am to this website forum. As a good man, I'm going to give you all a second chance. If another year goes by in which I don't win poster of the day then we're through VT, you will have lost me for good this time. The ball is in your court now. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted November 16, 2017 Share Posted November 16, 2017 31 minutes ago, Paddywhack said: Okay, let's talk about the elephant in the room. We all know what day it is today. It's a year to the day that I last won poster of the day. This is far too long for a good man like me and obviously you guys are consistently overlooking what a wonderful contributor I am to this website forum. As a good man, I'm going to give you all a second chance. If another year goes by in which I don't win poster of the day then we're through VT, you will have lost me for good this time. The ball is in your court now. I never look at those things until you told me about it about 4 weeks ago 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyh29 Posted November 16, 2017 Share Posted November 16, 2017 33 minutes ago, Paddywhack said: Okay, let's talk about the elephant in the room. We all know what day it is today. It's a year to the day that I last won poster of the day. This is far too long for a good man like me and obviously you guys are consistently overlooking what a wonderful contributor I am to this website forum. As a good man, I'm going to give you all a second chance. If another year goes by in which I don't win poster of the day then we're through VT, you will have lost me for good this time. The ball is in your court now. Imagine how I'd feel if I gave you a sympathy like and you "won the day " by beating me by 1 like It's just not a risk I can take , so you'll be getting No likes from me 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
choffer Posted November 16, 2017 VT Supporter Share Posted November 16, 2017 46 minutes ago, Paddywhack said: Okay, let's talk about the elephant in the room. We all know what day it is today. It's a year to the day that I last won poster of the day. This is far too long for a good man like me and obviously you guys are consistently overlooking what a wonderful contributor I am to this website forum. As a good man, I'm going to give you all a second chance. If another year goes by in which I don't win poster of the day then we're through VT, you will have lost me for good this time. The ball is in your court now. Where were you on October 28th? That was your big chance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Demitri_C Posted November 16, 2017 Share Posted November 16, 2017 18 hours ago, Rugeley Villa said: What is it with me and shit tales. I foolishly heated up some fresh fish that had already been cooked, then had some for my dinner. The left over fish was then made into sandwiches, wrapped up in tin foil and left on the side for work. Fast forward to 11 o'clock today and I start feeling a bit unwell. By 1 I'm throwing up on the roof, like 7 or 8 times. Next thing I know the foreman comes up to inspect something exactly in the spot I've been throwing up in. The daft sod never noticed it, and before I could tell him about the puddle of sick, hes kneeling down in it. Me and my work mate are just looking at each other and thinking WTF, whilst my other work mate has to walk off because he's pissing himself. After inspecting whatever it was he was looking at,he then stood up and just walked off with all sick down his one leg. Its now 2 in the afternoon and I'm absolutely wasted and can't do anything, so I go and get in the van and try to have a sleep. The lads come down at 3.30 just in time to watch me throwing up in a bucket. I empty the bucket and decide I have not got the shits yet, but I know it's coming. As soon as we get on the ******* motorway from coventry, BANG! I need a shit. I have no choice but to empty myself into a bucket much to the horror of my work colleagues. 10 times I needed to empty myself whilst coming back from Coventry and the bucket was a quarter full of liquified shit. The van absolutely stunk. I had naff all to wipe my arse with, so just had to grin and bear it. We managed to get rid of the bucket coming out of Lichfield. Still throwing up now. In bed hoping to sleep it off by tomorrow. Those bloody foreign fish I actually laughed out loud to this brilliant Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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