Ingram85 Posted November 27, 2017 Share Posted November 27, 2017 Got a delivery coming from 10:30-12:30. Guess what time I started to need a poo from. Guaranteed as soon as I squeeze the first one out that my doorbell goes. Do I risk it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
This Could Be Rotterdam Posted November 27, 2017 Share Posted November 27, 2017 So do we get an extra bank holiday next year for the royal wedding? Its the only bit of interest i have in the whole thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paddywhack Posted November 27, 2017 Share Posted November 27, 2017 36 minutes ago, Ingram85 said: Got a delivery coming from 10:30-12:30. Guess what time I started to need a poo from. Guaranteed as soon as I squeeze the first one out that my doorbell goes. Do I risk it? Just put a note on your front door. "Please don't leave, just having a quick poo" 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted November 27, 2017 Share Posted November 27, 2017 50 minutes ago, Ingram85 said: Got a delivery coming from 10:30-12:30. Guess what time I started to need a poo from. Guaranteed as soon as I squeeze the first one out that my doorbell goes. Do I risk it? Do a power poo. In and out in 60 seconds. We've all ben in situations when we've needed to do one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paddywhack Posted November 27, 2017 Share Posted November 27, 2017 4 minutes ago, Xela said: Do a power poo. In and out in 60 seconds. We've all ben in situations when we've needed to do one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted November 27, 2017 Share Posted November 27, 2017 (edited) 2 minutes ago, Paddywhack said: You know when you have to go but have little time? Perhaps in a meeting or on a date or when the fire alarm goes off as soon as you sit down! Edited November 27, 2017 by Xela Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paddywhack Posted November 27, 2017 Share Posted November 27, 2017 (edited) 12 minutes ago, Xela said: You know when you have to go but have little time? Perhaps in a meeting or on a date or when the fire alarm goes off as soon as you sit down! I was referring to the 'in' part when you said "in and out in 60 seconds". Things usually only come out when I'm having a plop. edit...it was a shit joke. literally. Edited November 27, 2017 by Paddywhack 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davkaus Posted November 27, 2017 Share Posted November 27, 2017 60 seconds doesn't seem that quick to me. I'm usually in and out in no more than a couple of minutes. I don't understand how people spend 5-10 minutes taking a shit. Get some fibre in you! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ingram85 Posted November 27, 2017 Share Posted November 27, 2017 Made it! Took my time and got my delivery after. /hero 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ingram85 Posted November 27, 2017 Share Posted November 27, 2017 I spend at least 10 minutes on the bog. 45 is my max. Once the pins and needles kick in then its time to get up. You can't be empty after 5 minutes surely? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted November 27, 2017 Moderator Share Posted November 27, 2017 6 minutes ago, Ingram85 said: I spend at least 10 minutes on the bog. 45 is my max. Once the pins and needles kick in then its time to get up. You can't be empty after 5 minutes surely? Horse's sneeze my man. Horse's sneeze. I can be empty in 3 seconds. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AVFCDAN Posted November 27, 2017 Share Posted November 27, 2017 10 minutes ago, Ingram85 said: I spend at least 10 minutes on the bog. 45 is my max. Once the pins and needles kick in then its time to get up. You can't be empty after 5 minutes surely? If its a phantom one I can be "Gone in 60 seconds". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted November 27, 2017 VT Supporter Share Posted November 27, 2017 It all depends on the chapter lengths. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted November 27, 2017 Share Posted November 27, 2017 Depends how many texts I need to send. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted November 27, 2017 Share Posted November 27, 2017 I did a poo the other day and it looked like 2 perfectly placed cuban cigars next to one another. Obviously I'm a curious fellow, and I've always want to know what the big deal is with the whole "rolled on the leg of a virgin" thing is, so I tried it, but honestly.. it doesn't do anything but smear your thigh with poo, it doesn't smell nice and my god, when I tried to light it I got dump in my mouth and the lighter just burns the end of the poo and I couldn't get it to light properly so my bedroom just smelt like burnt poo for like ages. What a wasted evening that was. My wife went mental as well because I just left the stuff everywhere because I couldn't be bothered to clean it up because it stank. Sorry wife. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 I quite liked how the producers of Peaky Blinders took the attention off the awful brummie accents by bringing in some “Italians”. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Demitri_C Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 On the subject of poo I dont mean to make this again one of those sit or stand convos but what happens if you done your crap left office and havnet wiped properly and your arse gets itchy so you need to go back and re wipe? your not going to go sit on the toilet and re wipe are you? you are going to stand and wipe surely? the joys of my office Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paddywhack Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 2 minutes ago, Demitri_C said: On the subject of poo I dont mean to make this again one of those sit or stand convos but what happens if you done your crap left office and havnet wiped properly and your arse gets itchy so you need to go back and re wipe? your not going to go sit on the toilet and re wipe are you? you are going to stand and wipe surely? the joys of my office Ooh, very good point. @lapal_fan sent me and @Rob182 another photo of his poo the other day with no toilet paper in the bowl. He claimed he took the photo between his legs, but there was no reflection of his arse in the water. He's a secret stander. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Demitri_C Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 1 minute ago, Paddywhack said: Ooh, very good point. @lapal_fan sent me and @Rob182 another photo of his poo the other day with no toilet paper in the bowl. He claimed he took the photo between his legs, but there was no reflection of his arse in the water. He's a secret stander. stand and be proud i say! how can you want to continue to sit? the subject is now also moving towards if you look at the tissue or not. those two you mentioned sound like standing lookers to me 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seat68 Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 **** standers, weirdos. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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