Genie Posted November 1, 2019 Share Posted November 1, 2019 14 minutes ago, KentVillan said: To be fair, I'm told a lot of men ask for stuff like "no drama", which is equally deluded 0 results found 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy Lifeboats Posted November 1, 2019 Share Posted November 1, 2019 19 hours ago, Rugeley Villa said: A question for some of the older folk on here. Are you and your Wife/Partner still as much in love now as you were when you first met? Don’t be scared to spread the love. Yes. I couldn't imagine life without her. 20 years married. 26 year together. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted November 1, 2019 Share Posted November 1, 2019 4 hours ago, KentVillan said: To be fair, I'm told a lot of men ask for stuff like "no drama", which is equally deluded Asking for the impossible! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisp65 Posted November 1, 2019 Share Posted November 1, 2019 Looking at the responses from the older gentleman contributors, are we looking at this the wrong way? Is the modern single male incapable of picking a winner and keeping himself equal? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colhint Posted November 1, 2019 Share Posted November 1, 2019 I have a situation. We got divorced about 4 years ago. 2 kids and we did everything to make it ok for them. My 19 year old daughter moved out about 6 months ago, which just leaves my ex and my son. They don't get on. Neither will give an inch. She was one of 4 girls, so my son is the first teenage boy she has come across. Her one sister had a lad and he left his teens about 20 years ago. Now it's the 2 of them and her next boyfriend, there,s been a few. Both parent and child are pretty headstrong, both intelligent and neither will back down. Tonight it all blew up again this time it was all about his contact lenses. He has only had them a short while, he hated glasses. Was picked on at school about them. So he wanted to make sure a contract was sorted, so he doesn't have to go back to glasses. She's in a bad mood after work. Anyway it goes balistic to the point where boyfriend has him round the neck and gets him on the floor. Bit of bruising but nothing more. He's 16 and a rugby player but was taken by surprise. Boyfriend has been around for a month or so. Ex stood and watched. I have brought him back to mine and will keep him with me a while. Ex and I have agreed to meet next week, and I have only heard half of one side of the story, both too angry. Not sure what to do next. He wants the police involved, not sure if that's wise, maybe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rodders0223 Posted November 1, 2019 Share Posted November 1, 2019 30 minutes ago, colhint said: I have a situation. We got divorced about 4 years ago. 2 kids and we did everything to make it ok for them. My 19 year old daughter moved out about 6 months ago, which just leaves my ex and my son. They don't get on. Neither will give an inch. She was one of 4 girls, so my son is the first teenage boy she has come across. Her one sister had a lad and he left his teens about 20 years ago. Now it's the 2 of them and her next boyfriend, there,s been a few. Both parent and child are pretty headstrong, both intelligent and neither will back down. Tonight it all blew up again this time it was all about his contact lenses. He has only had them a short while, he hated glasses. Was picked on at school about them. So he wanted to make sure a contract was sorted, so he doesn't have to go back to glasses. She's in a bad mood after work. Anyway it goes balistic to the point where boyfriend has him round the neck and gets him on the floor. Bit of bruising but nothing more. He's 16 and a rugby player but was taken by surprise. Boyfriend has been around for a month or so. Ex stood and watched. I have brought him back to mine and will keep him with me a while. Ex and I have agreed to meet next week, and I have only heard half of one side of the story, both too angry. Not sure what to do next. He wants the police involved, not sure if that's wise, maybe. Press charges or go round and fill the boyfriend in. I was in his situation, mother's boyfriend, physical abuse in the home. Fill him in. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted November 1, 2019 Share Posted November 1, 2019 53 minutes ago, colhint said: I have a situation. We got divorced about 4 years ago. 2 kids and we did everything to make it ok for them. My 19 year old daughter moved out about 6 months ago, which just leaves my ex and my son. They don't get on. Neither will give an inch. She was one of 4 girls, so my son is the first teenage boy she has come across. Her one sister had a lad and he left his teens about 20 years ago. Now it's the 2 of them and her next boyfriend, there,s been a few. Both parent and child are pretty headstrong, both intelligent and neither will back down. Tonight it all blew up again this time it was all about his contact lenses. He has only had them a short while, he hated glasses. Was picked on at school about them. So he wanted to make sure a contract was sorted, so he doesn't have to go back to glasses. She's in a bad mood after work. Anyway it goes balistic to the point where boyfriend has him round the neck and gets him on the floor. Bit of bruising but nothing more. He's 16 and a rugby player but was taken by surprise. Boyfriend has been around for a month or so. Ex stood and watched. I have brought him back to mine and will keep him with me a while. Ex and I have agreed to meet next week, and I have only heard half of one side of the story, both too angry. Not sure what to do next. He wants the police involved, not sure if that's wise, maybe. Chap has only been around a month and has choke slammed your lad to the ground? Sounds like a nice bloke. Get the police involved as next time it could be worse for your lad or your ex. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy Lifeboats Posted November 1, 2019 Share Posted November 1, 2019 Get both sides of the story before deciding what to do. There are 3 recollections of any situation. My version, your version and what actually happened. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ingram85 Posted November 1, 2019 Share Posted November 1, 2019 (edited) Boyfriend of a month or so going hands on with your teenage son is a big no no, I'd be having words with him for sure and make it clear that if he does it again then it may end badly for him. If he's like that after a month then imagine how he might be once he's 'settled in'. Not saying your lad is innocent but at 16 he's still a child and still mentally growing and you have to understand that if you're introducing yourself as a new face. Edited November 1, 2019 by Ingram85 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cyrusr Posted November 1, 2019 VT Supporter Share Posted November 1, 2019 3 hours ago, colhint said: I have a situation. We got divorced about 4 years ago. 2 kids and we did everything to make it ok for them. My 19 year old daughter moved out about 6 months ago, which just leaves my ex and my son. They don't get on. Neither will give an inch. She was one of 4 girls, so my son is the first teenage boy she has come across. Her one sister had a lad and he left his teens about 20 years ago. Now it's the 2 of them and her next boyfriend, there,s been a few. Both parent and child are pretty headstrong, both intelligent and neither will back down. Tonight it all blew up again this time it was all about his contact lenses. He has only had them a short while, he hated glasses. Was picked on at school about them. So he wanted to make sure a contract was sorted, so he doesn't have to go back to glasses. She's in a bad mood after work. Anyway it goes balistic to the point where boyfriend has him round the neck and gets him on the floor. Bit of bruising but nothing more. He's 16 and a rugby player but was taken by surprise. Boyfriend has been around for a month or so. Ex stood and watched. I have brought him back to mine and will keep him with me a while. Ex and I have agreed to meet next week, and I have only heard half of one side of the story, both too angry. Not sure what to do next. He wants the police involved, not sure if that's wise, maybe. Whilst you are right that there are 2 sides to a story, that is not anyway you treat a child, doesn’t matter how bad they have been. Given he has been around for only a month, that is an awfully quick deterioration into violence. I think you need to find out more from your ex before getting the police properly involved with this. However, what it could be a dominance thing with this chap, he perhaps has seen the connection between tour ex and her son and tried to break him off. That means he has your ex to himself. Sadly it can be a very typical action of violent men. Has he moved in yet was just stopping? If he’s moved in, that’s really quick as well and clearly will cause conflict with your son. He’s with you now, so you know he’s safe. I would have a word with your ex. Find out from her what happened, but he a little careful if she fully backs the boyfriend, your son may still be telling the truth. Also tell her to check with the police under Clare’s Law in any event Link to WM police but all police forces have it now if that’s not your local. They will tell her if the guy has a history of violence and whether she should stay away. It maybe nothing, but it has some of the markers of a controlling and domestically violent man, and it certainly wouldn’t harm her to check, particularly if your son does end up going back to live with her. Otherwise it may be better if he stays with you for a lot longer, particularly if your ex chooses the boyfriend over the son. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted November 1, 2019 Share Posted November 1, 2019 How can a conversation about contact lenses end up with a bloke grabbing anyone round the neck? **** pathetic from the adults here. If the teenager is being a Mardy arse let him, the **** speccy word removed, he's a teenager. The new chimp in town shouldn't be grabbing anyone, the clown. And what woman would let her new chimp grab her son by the throat and pin him on the floor? A shit one who is thick as shit by the sounds of it. Don't use violence, it'll just end up worse, but say clearly to all of them this isn't acceptable and they need to have a good hard look in the mirror if Mr new thicko uses violence against, you'll call the police. Honestly, just how stupid do you have to be to end up like that? Pathetic. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mottaloo Posted November 2, 2019 Share Posted November 2, 2019 I don't have kids but if anyone harmed my niece or nephew (both teenagers) then common sense would fly out the window and I'd rip his head off or do my best to. I'm not a violent man, quite the opposite in fact. I know I'd end up in trouble but if some toe rag thinks he has the right to do that to one of my own then he's fair game to get plenty back. I hope ur ex didn't just stand there. Blood is blood, water is water. Perhaps she's scared of him already ? Either way, it's not a healthy start to a relationship. Good luck to you and ur boy. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brumstopdogs Posted November 2, 2019 Share Posted November 2, 2019 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PompeyVillan Posted November 2, 2019 Share Posted November 2, 2019 You don't physically assault someone else's child, that's appalling behaviour. You do need to find out what happened, if your son instigated the altercation then it changes the situation slightly. Either way, as an adult you don't allow a situation to escalate to the point where there is an assault. If it turns out this bloke has assaulted your boy unprovoked you absolutely need to involve the police. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colhint Posted November 2, 2019 Share Posted November 2, 2019 Thanks for the advice guys. I'm taking a few days to mull it over. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mottaloo Posted November 2, 2019 Share Posted November 2, 2019 34 minutes ago, colhint said: Thanks for the advice guys. I'm taking a few days to mull it over. Yeah you're right to step back and mull it over. My earlier post was a lil hot headed but the outrage I'd feel would be the same.....just need to count to 10 or similar. I think a police visit to "Mr I assault kids" may well mark his card. I just hope he doesn't have form for this type of thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colhint Posted November 2, 2019 Share Posted November 2, 2019 I think I might have to contact the police in some low level form. He's 16 now but turns 17 in a couple of weeks. So I'm not sure if he is classed as a minor then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikeyp102 Posted November 2, 2019 Share Posted November 2, 2019 1 minute ago, colhint said: I think I might have to contact the police in some low level form. He's 16 now but turns 17 in a couple of weeks. So I'm not sure if he is classed as a minor then. At the time of the assault he was a minor, I don’t think it matters when his birthday is. You just can’t go about grabbing kids by the throat. The new partner is completely out of order. You can’t tell your ex how to live, that’s her choice but you can think of the safety of your son. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ingram85 Posted November 2, 2019 Share Posted November 2, 2019 4 minutes ago, colhint said: I think I might have to contact the police in some low level form. He's 16 now but turns 17 in a couple of weeks. So I'm not sure if he is classed as a minor then. He wasnt 17 when he was assaulted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr_Pangloss Posted November 2, 2019 Share Posted November 2, 2019 You have every right to cave that guy's head in to be honest, shocking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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