Getting older

[Chindie]

I won't make a particularly great age, as discussed in the other thread (parents and both sets of grandparents all died relatively young - only 1 broke 70), and as the mental health thread can attest I'm not exactly in the greatest place either, and my health has been spiralling downwards recently, so yeah, I'll be clocking out in my 60s I suspect.

The thing that has started to weigh on my mind is, well... I'm reaching into my mid 30s soon and basically my life has achieved nothing. By this age my parents had been married for a decade and had 2 kids. My brother was married, settled in a decent job, etc. I've got none of that.

It makes me feel very despondant.

[theboyangel]

23 minutes ago, sharkyvilla said:

Watching the Brit awards makes me feel about 100.

Genuinely didn’t realise it was still a thing! 

[villa4europe]

I found having a kid made me very very aware of my age, was irrelevant to me before then, had my first at 35 and my 2nd will be at 37, I do the sums in my head, like when they'll get married, when I'll be a grandad etc and it, its all added an element of fear to it, not so much too old to run around the garden with them but stuff like seeing celebs with illness and dropping dead in their mid 40s and 50s, people like Sarah Harding now hits me

Touch wood I'm relatively healthy and so are my family, my 4 grandparents are all alive in their mid 80s, my grandads had different cancers for 12 years now and they've written him off more than once but he's still going 

[MakemineVanilla]

There were some interesting stats in the Times the other week, about longevity.

It basically said that although life-expectancy is increasing, the number of years we can expect to stay healthy remains roughly the same.

The chart revealed that men on average stay healthy until they are 57.7 years and from then on until the average lifespan (82), we are usually reliant on medication and medical proceedures to keep us going.

So for men who are feeling shit at around 60, the consolation is that it is normal, but best not to ignore it, if you want to stop at the wicket, for your full whack!

[mjmooney]

11 minutes ago, MakemineVanilla said:

The chart revealed that men on average stay healthy until they are 57.7 years and from then on until the average lifespan (82), we are usually reliant on medication and medical proceedures to keep us going

I shouldn't be too complacent about it, because karma could strike tomorrow, but when I went for my first covid jab (they did the over 60s first), the nurse asked me what medication I was on. When I said "None", she said "Blimey, you're the first one today to say that". 

And it's true that most of my contemporary friends and relatives are indeed on some combination of pills and injections. I just wonder when it's going to catch up with me. I never wish I was younger, but I'd quite happily hit the pause button on ageing and stick with where I am right now. 

[MakemineVanilla]

12 minutes ago, mjmooney said:

I shouldn't be too complacent about it, because karma could strike tomorrow, but when I went for my first covid jab (they did the over 60s first), the nurse asked me what medication I was on. When I said "None", she said "Blimey, you're the first one today to say that". 

And it's true that most of my contemporary friends and relatives are indeed on some combination of pills and injections. I just wonder when it's going to catch up with me. I never wish I was younger, but I'd quite happily hit the pause button on ageing and stick with where I am right now. 

There's a lot of luck involved, and as a runner and non-smoker you have kept your weight down and avoided COPD, and you managed to get a job where you weren't exposed to too many noxious substances, or too much noise.

Some people are just luckier than others, in life-style, occupation and inherited genes.

I think avoiding depression is very important too.

[mykeyb]

1 hour ago, sharkyvilla said:

Watching the Brit awards makes me feel about 100.

It's on in the background and well who are these people............

Adele and Ginger Kid knock out an album and it's nominated and wins because there is no competition.

[Mark Albrighton]

I always feel and consider myself younger than I actually am, the number just lags behind by 5 or so years. When I was 29/30 I would feel like I was 23 or 24.

Now I’m 38, I feel more like 33 to 35. It’ll be mildly interesting to see if it stays at that lagging rate.

There are little moments too when I notice changes.

Last autumn I saw these students being interviewed early in the morning on TV about heading back into university/night clubs etc. One of them, very attractive young woman. Genuinely my first thought when I saw she wearing a low cut top and no jacket was she must have been freezing. 

And there’s no way to make it not sound like navel-gazing, but I find myself questioning how me and my mates look when we’re out having a drink. I think it’s safe to assume the twenty somethings don’t consider us their peers, but I’m hopeful we don’t quite yet look like their dad’s golf buddies.

[tonyh29]

I remember being out in some bar at 4am drinking away when I turned 40 … some good looking girl in her mid 20’s approached me as I kinda danced around to the live band playing , I thought to myself “I’ve still got it” and then she said to me , “not being rude , but aren’t you a bit old to be out at this time “

10 years on , I’d like to think if she met 50 year old me she would be impressed that I’m still dancing badly to bands in the wee hours of the morning and not dead.

that said , Went out to play snooker with a couple of mates last night , we spent our teens , 20’s / 30’s and 40’s playing football , tennis , squash etc with each other.

We were groaning and moaning about backs , knees etc just trying to line the cue up to play a shot 

Getting old kinda sucks

 

 

 

Edited February 8, 2022 by tonyh29

[Paddywhack]

Putting a positive spin on things, whenever I see someone in their 60s, 70s walking their dog past my house or fetching a paper or whatever, I get a little jealous. I’m looking forward to slowing down and pottering about.

Also, whilst the thought of death isn’t exactly pleasant, I do find a slight comfort in it as well. It puts things in to perspective.

[Seat68]

Watched the Brit awards last night, knew who most of the people were, knew most of the songs, didn't say, "well this is just noise" once.

You lot are old. 

[bickster]

53 minutes ago, Seat68 said:

Watched the Brit awards last night, knew who most of the people were, knew most of the songs, didn't say, "well this is just noise" once.

You lot are old. 

Please tell me you at least said it was shit

[Mark Albrighton]

The first time I was made aware the Brit awards were taking place was in this thread.

Even then, when @sharkyvilla mentioned it I initially assumed he was talking in general, not that he literally watching at the time.

[magnkarl]

9 hours ago, mjmooney said:

I shouldn't be too complacent about it, because karma could strike tomorrow, but when I went for my first covid jab (they did the over 60s first), the nurse asked me what medication I was on. When I said "None", she said "Blimey, you're the first one today to say that". 

And it's true that most of my contemporary friends and relatives are indeed on some combination of pills and injections. I just wonder when it's going to catch up with me. I never wish I was younger, but I'd quite happily hit the pause button on ageing and stick with where I am right now. 

I'd say that it isn't neccesarily negative mate. I'm well up there in the years too and I'm on zero medication, I was on cholesterol pills but I've since adjusted my diet and removed the need.

A lot of it is down to your lifestyle, if you can find pleasure in sweetners instead of sugar in your tea, one glass of wine instead of the bottle and a good amount of exercise 

Happiness, walks, a bit of everything and the occasional splurge seems to work for me. As I got older I stopped caring about things that would stress me out when I was younger (what others think of me, making sure my kids were safe 24/7, if I should get a better job), it's all sort of settled once I got into my 50's. It's not that I don't care about my kids, but they're adults and have a good grasp on life at the moment.

[mjmooney]

Up to now, the transition into each life decade has never bothered me. Didn't mind at all about passing 30, 40 and 50. And 60 was a positive joy, as it meant retirement and freedom. * 

But I'm now just two years short of 70, and I must admit, I don't like the idea at all. Like I said upthread, can I freeze my age now, please? 

* That 60th was 8 years ago, but it feels like about 18 months. Time is accelerating alarmingly. 

Edited February 9, 2022 by mjmooney

[Seat68]

1 hour ago, bickster said:

Please tell me you at least said it was shit

Definitely some of it.

[Xann]

2 hours ago, mjmooney said:

Time is accelerating alarmingly. 

Study slows it down a bit, iirc?

Fancy dipping back into some education?

[mjmooney]

1 minute ago, Xann said:

Study slows it down a bit, iirc?

Fancy dipping back into some education?

Kind of, but tbh I don't want that time commitment when I'm pretty busy with childcare and hobbies. 

[Xann]

13 minutes ago, mjmooney said:

Kind of, but tbh I don't want that time commitment when I'm pretty busy with childcare and hobbies. 

 A luthier's course could end up saving you money?

Not so much that you'd be building your own guitars, more that you'd improve the ones you have.

[lapal_fan]

At 34, nearly 35 I've pondered death and life a little.  I think "feeling old" kind of hit me first when I was 31 and it was quite specific.  I was playing football, jumped to volley the ball ala DiCanio style and my hamstring ripped and made a cute muscle ball at the top end of my arse.  I went to hospital, got sent to physiotherapy, did that and it's never been right since, and although I went back to football 6 months later, last November I shot the ball (kicking a ball dead hard is my only good facet) and I tore my hip tendons (same leg as the muscle tear).  So I've not played since and I can still feel my hip being what I can only describe as "weak and not right", so I guess this is it for me now - manage it.  

The kids thing can make you feel old, the putting on weight thing too (I've a sedentary life now, working from home) but I still have things to look forward to, which helps me feel young. 

I know a lot of you know my grandad died on the 5th Jan, we had his funeral last Friday and it was beautiful, but as my last grandparent, my parents now (to me) feel very vulnerable for a reason I can't quite explain.. But that "barrier" I suppose of having a grandparent.. kinda protected my parents.. if that makes sense? 

But I'm a great believer that life is an absolute privilege, and the world and most of things in it are beautiful.  I've never had to "do drugs" (apart from getting drunk I guess!) or smoke to make my perspective anymore clear or happy, I've always been an eternal optimist, much to my own limitations of thinking "I'll be alright".  I'd love to do so much more, but family/income/pandemics etc limit that.  I'd love to explore and lead a nomadic lifestyle and my plan once I retire is to buy a mobile home and just drive wherever takes my interest - see you later Halesowen!  

I often do get disappointed that my life up to now hasn't taken me to more places and lived away etc, but by the same token, I'm relatively happy with where I am now.  I have a great little family, a lot of family support and, I suppose "I am alright"   

And ultimately, as long as my family are ok, nature takes it's course gracefully and my own death isn't prolonged and severe, then I don't really have a magic number I need to hit, a bucket list to accomplish to pressure my existence with.