Big Salad Posted April 29, 2021 Share Posted April 29, 2021 My wife said if I bought her one more stupid gift,she'd burn it. So I bought her a candle. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Rds1983 Posted April 29, 2021 VT Supporter Popular Post Share Posted April 29, 2021 Have you ever had sex whilst camping? It's f***ing intense. 2 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted April 30, 2021 Share Posted April 30, 2021 Two cowboys are riding along a trail in the mountains when they suddenly hear tom-toms beating very close to them. "Oh! That doesn't sound too good" one says to the other. As soon as the words were spoken, an Indian jumps out from behind a tree and said "Yeah, our regular drummer is off sick". 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted April 30, 2021 Share Posted April 30, 2021 I used to go out with a girl who punched me in the face when she orgasmed. I didn't mind too much until I found out she was faking them. <Californication> 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robtaylor200 Posted April 30, 2021 Share Posted April 30, 2021 8 hours ago, rjw63 said: I used to go out with a girl who punched me in the face when she orgasmed. I didn't mind too much until I found out she was faking them. <Californication> still chuckling 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robtaylor200 Posted May 3, 2021 Share Posted May 3, 2021 Just thinking back about when I was at school. We used to have the letter of the day. and on this day it was "N". The teacher said "Robert why dont you tell the class something that your not very good at that begins with the letter N" I said " Spelling " 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Big Salad Posted May 7, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted May 7, 2021 A dung beetle walks into a bar and says "Is this stool taken?" 2 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Salad Posted May 13, 2021 Share Posted May 13, 2021 I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper. To be honest, I only intended to rough him up a bit. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy Lifeboats Posted May 17, 2021 Share Posted May 17, 2021 Last night I was watching a porn movie when the wife suddenly burst into the lounge. What a way to discover she'd been in a porn movie. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Paddywhack Posted May 27, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted May 27, 2021 An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all stood watching a street performer juggling. The juggler notices that the four men have a very poor view, so he stands on a large wooden box and calls out "Can you all see me now?". "Yes." "Oui." "Si." "Ja." 2 1 1 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theboyangel Posted May 27, 2021 Share Posted May 27, 2021 3 hours ago, Paddywhack said: An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all stood watching a street performer juggling. The juggler notices that the four men have a very poor view, so he stands on a large wooden box and calls out "Can you all see me now?". "Yes." "Oui." "Si." "Ja." 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nigel Posted May 27, 2021 VT Supporter Share Posted May 27, 2021 My wife is leaving me because she says I am too condescending. (That means talking down to people) 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nigel Posted May 27, 2021 VT Supporter Share Posted May 27, 2021 Just heard the tragic story about that photographer who was crushed by a massive lump of Cheddar. In fairness, the wedding party tried to warn him 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leemond2008 Posted May 27, 2021 Share Posted May 27, 2021 On 03/04/2021 at 13:04, Big Salad said: I'll never forget the day I saw a photographer get crushed by a huge block of cheddar. We all tried to warn him. Where is that defender in a bin 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villa4europe Posted June 1, 2021 Share Posted June 1, 2021 We've just found out that my grandad has a viagra addiction My grans taking it really hard 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enda Posted June 2, 2021 Share Posted June 2, 2021 Man went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. They wake up one morning and the mother-in-law is missing. They find her in the back garden, face-to-face with a tiger. The wife says "We have to do something! What should we do?" He goes, "Listen, that tiger got itself into that position and he can find his own damn way out of it." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomav84 Posted June 2, 2021 VT Supporter Share Posted June 2, 2021 just found out my best mate has died from heartburn. just can't believe it. gav is gone. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robtaylor200 Posted June 8, 2021 Share Posted June 8, 2021 Chap goes to the Doctors He has a carrot up his nose, a banana in his right ear and a cucumber in his left ear The doctor says "Your not eating properly" 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
choffer Posted June 11, 2021 VT Supporter Share Posted June 11, 2021 Just found out that cock fighting is done with chickens. Thats 12 months training wasted. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AJ Posted June 11, 2021 Share Posted June 11, 2021 Had sex with the ex in an elevator. It was wrong on so many levels. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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