AJ

No. Just some South Pacific numpty who rocks up at the last minute, and didn't notice the elevator until half time.

He isn't dead. He is just...sleeping.

My first and probably only game at Villa Park. I would first say I fell immediately in love with the place. Walking up from the train station and hearing the Villa faithful in full voice raised hairs on the back of my neck. As I entered the stadium , I was greeted with hail from the heavens, and took the long walk up the stairs with ice in my hair. The pitch looked marvellous. This was going to be a wonderful day. And then the game started. Oh dear. We were playing so poorly, I checked my ticket at half time in case I walked into the circus instead. Defending seemed optional, and taking a shot at goal seemed like the worst idea in the history of football. There seemed to be no structure, and a lot of the players needed to revisit what being a professional means. That was the worst they had played this season, and reminded me of our relegation season. Despite the result, I am glad I went. Cant say if I would be back again, but if I could, I would. A bad day at Villa Park will still be better than a good day watching a crappy stream at stupid o'clock. We can turn this around. UTV.

What did the sadist say to the masochist? No.

Russell?

Had a great time, and if we snatched the win, it would have been perfect. Only posted once during the match, as I was using my missus' phone. With my stubby fingers, it was taking me too much away from the game. I cant understand the Manure love for Lingard. They do like him for some reason, but when he came on, he ran for about 100 metres, and decided to become a ghost for the rest of the match. They also moaned a lot about the ref, so that entitles him a Good rating from me.

Sitting here with the Manure fans, its very quiet. Meanwhile Villa fans are the loudest at the ground.

This is the very first time I get to see Villa live in action, so I am expecting a 2 nil win. Who to though, depends whether I am a jinx or not.

Pretty much my sentiments too.

Just like most people, the person I am is the culmination of my parent's personalities and efforts. Before marrying my Dad, my Mum was a counsellor for zookeepers who felt distraught that they had lost connection with the animals under their care. My Dad was just mean. He would give me and my brother 5 dollars each two days before Christmas, sneak into our rooms on the night of Christmas Eve and steal it, then would beat us on Christmas Day for losing it. So, that explains why I am mixed up. I don't know if I am a kind person who thinks he is a mean person pretending to be kind, or a mean person who thinks he is a kind person pretending to be mean. I have issues.

Trump is so full of shit, I would be surprised if he hasn't done that already.

If a train left Birmingham at 06:05 travelling at 95 kph, and a train left at 07:10 from London travelling at 110 kph, do you think Wesley will come good?

Is it wrong that I only discovered this thread just over an hour ago, and it has become one of my favourite threads?

Before the game started, I thought we had a good chance of winning, despite having Jack, Heaton and Engels out, but seeing that bench scared me. All hope was lost when Steer went down, and saw Nyland coming on. A training cone, a wheelie bin, or even tying some dead guy's hands to the cross bar would be a better option than having him in goal, as any shot on was pretty much guaranteed to go in. To be honest, he actually played alright. Then Targett gets injured after copping a kick to the head while getting fouled. On trots Taylor, and all hope for a decent game shrivels like a salted slug. Deano showed his worth, because the team improved after the break. They were still crap, but they were a fresher shade of crap after that first half. Deano showed great skill in polishing that turd after the first half. I gave Steer my MOTM, as he showed more desire and will to win getting injured after 8 minutes than being involved in an overall extremely poor team performance. The next time those players check their bank balances, I hope they all feel very guilty. A very poor rating for the ref too, after completely ignoring the fouls on Anwar and Targett. FU ref! Our worst performance of the season, and I hope it remains to be.

It means nothing to me, but since they have a monopoly on pettiness, how do they feel about Ben Zephaniah being in the show? That has to grind their gears a bit.