colhint Posted June 11, 2021 Share Posted June 11, 2021 A wife convinces her husband to go on a nudist holiday. On the first day he's a bit embarrassed but get's through it. Second day he thinks I'll just Sunbathe, not going for any sports. So he spends all day on a bed by the pool. At tea time He tries to get up but realises he's got terrible sunburn on his meat and 2 veg. It's agony. The guy sitting next to him and asks whats up. When he explained the guy said that's happened to most of us first time, best thing to do is soak them in a saucer of cold milk. He get's back to the room and thinks I'll try it. So he's standing next to the fridge enjoying the cold milk, when his wife walks in. She said I've always wondered how you reloaded them buggers. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post AJ Posted June 12, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted June 12, 2021 On 13/04/2021 at 23:47, bickster said: Scouse graffiti (Yer Ma has been a Scouse joke meme since forever) What is the difference between a joke and 3 dicks? Your Ma can't take a joke. 2 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Robtaylor200 Posted June 12, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted June 12, 2021 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Salad Posted June 12, 2021 Share Posted June 12, 2021 Fat shaming is wrong. They have enough on their plate already. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AJ Posted June 12, 2021 Share Posted June 12, 2021 55 minutes ago, Big Salad said: Fat shaming is wrong. They have enough on their plate already. I disagree. You shouldn't sugarcoat it. They will eat that too. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted June 14, 2021 Moderator Share Posted June 14, 2021 On 12/06/2021 at 13:10, Big Salad said: Fat shaming is wrong. They have enough on their plate already. Rubbing it in a bit there Big Salad. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colhint Posted June 14, 2021 Share Posted June 14, 2021 should uk websites have biscuits instead of cookies 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AXD Posted June 16, 2021 Share Posted June 16, 2021 On 14/06/2021 at 23:31, colhint said: should uk websites have biscuits instead of cookies yes, brexit means brexit (take back control and all) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted June 16, 2021 Moderator Share Posted June 16, 2021 1 hour ago, AXD said: yes, brexit means brexit (take back control and all) And Imperial biscuits called things like bombardier (pronouced BOM-ba-deer not that poncey French way). 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted June 16, 2021 VT Supporter Share Posted June 16, 2021 1 hour ago, BOF said: And Imperial biscuits called things like bombardier (pronouced BOM-ba-deer not that poncey French way). The Lindt TV ad proudly bigs up their chocolatiers as 'chocolate ears', rather than 'shock latty ay'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GarethRDR Posted June 16, 2021 Share Posted June 16, 2021 2 hours ago, mjmooney said: The Lindt TV ad proudly bigs up their chocolatiers as 'chocolate ears', rather than 'shock latty ay'. Oh nothing tops that Dr. Oekter Ristorante frozen pizza ad from a few years back for this sort of thing. Zoom into establishing shot of young couple eating pizza on a fancy looking bridge. Voiceover comes in, "In a real Italian pizzeria, the pizza..." CUE BIG BOLD WORDS AT THE BOTTOM: "MADE IN GERMANY". 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colhint Posted June 21, 2021 Share Posted June 21, 2021 my uncle had an accident and ended up with 2 wooden legs. After a long time in rehab he started to get his life back in order. He eventually got a job as night shift security guard at a factory. One night a fire broke out, he called 999. they managed to save the factory but uncle was burned to the ground. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AJ Posted June 21, 2021 Share Posted June 21, 2021 37 minutes ago, colhint said: my uncle had an accident and ended up with 2 wooden legs. After a long time in rehab he started to get his life back in order. He eventually got a job as night shift security guard at a factory. One night a fire broke out, he called 999. they managed to save the factory but uncle was burned to the ground. From what I hear, the factory believes that somehow your uncle was responsible for the fire. Not sure about the details, but apparently your uncle doesn't have a leg to stand on. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sidcow Posted June 21, 2021 VT Supporter Share Posted June 21, 2021 Must have been drinking. Sounds to me that he was really really pissed. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post mjmooney Posted June 22, 2021 VT Supporter Popular Post Share Posted June 22, 2021 3 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Zen Posted June 22, 2021 Share Posted June 22, 2021 1 hour ago, mjmooney said: Is it weird I got a semi reading that? 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post rjw63 Posted July 11, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted July 11, 2021 I was walking through the cemetery and saw a guy crouching behind a tombstone. I said, “Morning...” He said, “No. Having a shit.” 2 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colhint Posted July 12, 2021 Share Posted July 12, 2021 A guy goes to heaven and Peter meets him at the gate. Peter says we weren't expecting you yet, never mind. Have you been a good man. The guy replies yes, I've never drunk or smoked or took drugs, never been in trouble with the police. I did once tell Tyrone Mings to wind his neck in and keep out of politics. When did this happen, About two minutes ago. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Salad Posted July 13, 2021 Share Posted July 13, 2021 Went for an interview at a Blacksmith's today Blacksmith: 'You any good at shoeing horses?' Me: 'No, but I once told a donkey to **** off' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted July 13, 2021 Share Posted July 13, 2021 2 hours ago, Big Salad said: Went for an interview at a Blacksmith's today Blacksmith: 'You any good at shoeing horses?' Me: 'No, but I once told a donkey to **** off' 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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