Genie Posted March 23, 2021 Share Posted March 23, 2021 Families discover £5k fine for holidaying abroad still cheaper than Center Parcs in August 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robtaylor200 Posted March 28, 2021 Share Posted March 28, 2021 Teacher asks the class "who was Robin Hood's girlfriend?" Paddy says "Wasn't it Trudy Glen Miss?" The teacher says "No Paddy it was Maid Marion" Paddy looked bemused and said "But what about the song Miss, Robin Hood Robin Hood riding Trudy Glen" 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted March 28, 2021 VT Supporter Share Posted March 28, 2021 As a younger man, I wanted to become a Gregorian monk...but I never got the chants. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post mjmooney Posted March 28, 2021 VT Supporter Popular Post Share Posted March 28, 2021 A space craft landed in St Peter's Square A hatch opened and two little green aliens with dazzling smiles appeared. They were promptly granted an audience with the Pope. After a brief discussion about the weather, the Pope said, "I know this question may sound odd to you, but I was wondering if you and your kind knew about Jesus Christ?" "Jesus Christ?!" exclaimed the slightly taller of two aliens. "Of course we do! He visits our planet every two years or so. Nice bloke". A hush descended on the audience chamber, and everyone watched the Pope, whose face had turned a rather odd purple. "Every two years?" he shouted. "We're still waiting for his second coming!" "Maybe he didn't like your beer?" suggested the alien. "Beer?" replied the Pope. "What in heaven's name does beer have to do with it?" "Well," said the alien. "When he came to our planet, we bought him a beer. Why, what did you do?" 3 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Robtaylor200 Posted March 31, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted March 31, 2021 (edited) I I thought you may find this funny. This is my back garden after i had hammered the slabs and paths with weed killer. I may have got some on my boots. Mrs T is not too pleased I think its bloody funny Edited March 31, 2021 by Robtaylor200 1 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Posted March 31, 2021 Share Posted March 31, 2021 55 minutes ago, Robtaylor200 said: I I thought you may find this funny. This is my back garden after i had hammered the slabs and paths with weed killer. I may have got some on my boots. Mrs T is not too pleased I think its bloody funny Tell your kids it was Santa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robtaylor200 Posted March 31, 2021 Share Posted March 31, 2021 1 minute ago, Genie said: Tell your kids it was Santa little too old for that my youngest is 34 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sidcow Posted March 31, 2021 VT Supporter Share Posted March 31, 2021 29 minutes ago, Robtaylor200 said: little too old for that my youngest is 34 Are you telling me you've told them? What happened to the magic? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted March 31, 2021 Moderator Share Posted March 31, 2021 2 hours ago, Robtaylor200 said: I I thought you may find this funny. This is my back garden after i had hammered the slabs and paths with weed killer. I may have got some on my boots. Mrs T is not too pleased I think its bloody funny "Now I'm not saying my feet are smelly, but ..." 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tegis Posted March 31, 2021 VT Supporter Share Posted March 31, 2021 (edited) 4 hours ago, Robtaylor200 said: I I thought you may find this funny. This is my back garden after i had hammered the slabs and paths with weed killer. I may have got some on my boots. Mrs T is not too pleased I think its bloody funny You also missed stepping on the Thistle at the bottom of the picture. Don't forget to tell the missus Edited March 31, 2021 by Tegis 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colhint Posted April 1, 2021 Share Posted April 1, 2021 i asked my Welsh mate how many partners he has had. He started counting then fell asleep. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sidcow Posted April 1, 2021 VT Supporter Share Posted April 1, 2021 9 minutes ago, colhint said: i asked my Welsh mate how many partners he has had. He started counting then fell asleep. You're going to be in trouble when @chrisp65 catches up with you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted April 2, 2021 VT Supporter Share Posted April 2, 2021 How do non-binary samurai kill people? They/Them 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted April 2, 2021 VT Supporter Share Posted April 2, 2021 50 minutes ago, Stevo985 said: How do non-binary samurai kill people? They/Them Took me a minute. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robtaylor200 Posted April 3, 2021 Share Posted April 3, 2021 21 hours ago, mjmooney said: Took me a minute. took me longer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Big Salad Posted April 3, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted April 3, 2021 I'll never forget the day I saw a photographer get crushed by a huge block of cheddar. We all tried to warn him. 2 11 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted April 3, 2021 VT Supporter Share Posted April 3, 2021 4 minutes ago, Big Salad said: I'll never forget the day I saw a photographer get crushed by a huge block of cheddar. We all tried to warn him. Also took me a minute. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dubbs Posted April 3, 2021 Share Posted April 3, 2021 On 31/03/2021 at 09:12, Genie said: Tell your kids it was Santa Does he live in that shed 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rds1983 Posted April 3, 2021 VT Supporter Share Posted April 3, 2021 3 hours ago, mjmooney said: Also took me a minute. Took me longer than that. I nearly started googling if warn was a type of cheese. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post imavillan Posted April 3, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted April 3, 2021 Just thought i'd let you all know i failed my ventriloquists exam yesterday. Can't say i'm surprised. 1 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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