The banker loving, baby-eating Tory party thread (regenerated)

[Chindie]

Patel will be getting the special bedroom power tools out tonight, she's got 31 dead foreigners to think of.

[StanBalaban]

10 hours ago, Davkaus said:

Boris, where is the child?

......

......

...........

.....Forgive me

.....

.....Forgiveme

........

......forgive me

Also applies to when he was making the baby.

[choffer]

I’m beginning to think that maybe Patel isn’t a terribly nice person. Considering removing her from my list of five permitted. 

[Seat68]

This thread is a work of beauty. 

 

[bickster]

You want some real actual Tory thinking? This isn't spur of the moment stuff, he’s reading from prepared notes. He’s actually sat down and thought about this bollocks, actually considers it as a valid argument

 

[Genie]

21 minutes ago, bickster said:

You want some real actual Tory thinking? This isn't spur of the moment stuff, he’s reading from prepared notes. He’s actually sat down and thought about this bollocks, actually considers it as a valid argument

 

Also, ever since females have been replacing male characters global warming has been getting worse. 

[bickster]

Just now, Genie said:

Also, ever since females have been replacing male characters global warming has been getting worse.

it got worse the moment he opened his mouth

[Straggler]

11 minutes ago, bickster said:

You want so real actual Tory thinking? This isn't  spur of the moment stuff, he’s reading from prepared notes. He’s actually sat down and thought about this bollocks, actually considers it as a valid argument

 

At this stage, Tory thinking is an oxymoron.  A literal head in hands moment when he says "is it any wonder...." as his arrow of logic flies off target into a pile of channel 4's tax money at Pepper Pig world.

[Davkaus]

I think we should rename his constituency, Don Valley, to Dawn Valley. 

[ml1dch]

"The problem with society is that young men don't have enough positive male role models"

"What about Marcus Rashfo..."

"NOT HIM"

[desensitized43]

2 hours ago, bickster said:

You want some real actual Tory thinking? This isn't spur of the moment stuff, he’s reading from prepared notes. He’s actually sat down and thought about this bollocks, actually considers it as a valid argument

 

Seriously who is voting for these jackasses.

[snowychap]

 

[mjmooney]

2 hours ago, bickster said:

You want some real actual Tory thinking? This isn't spur of the moment stuff, he’s reading from prepared notes. He’s actually sat down and thought about this bollocks, actually considers it as a valid argument

 

He should be very pleased then that Jody's standing down and the hot favourite for her replacement is a man - Omari Douglas. 

A black man. 

A black, gay man. 

Gammon meltdown incoming. 

[Rds1983]

I wonder what Jodie Whittaker feels about the fact that she's driving all these young men into a life of crime. 

[Chindie]

Won't be news to most but if you fancy making yourself angry with a very concise run through government corruption, this is a work a watch to get your blood pressure up.

[Rolta]

9 hours ago, choffer said:

I’m beginning to think that maybe Patel isn’t a terribly nice person. Considering removing her from my list of five permitted. 

I see comments like this every now and again and I don't get it. She's nothing but a horror. She can barely keep her head held together. She actually comes across at times as if she's a monster wearing a human face mask. 

And she's a terrible human. She's about as monstrous as it gets. 

I get it in the most perfect of photos she looks OK, but in movement and from a step back it is a facade that disappears quickly!

[choffer]

49 minutes ago, Rolta said:

I see comments like this every now and again and I don't get it. She's nothing but a horror. She can barely keep her head held together. She actually comes across at times as if she's a monster wearing a human face mask. 

And she's a terrible human. She's about as monstrous as it gets. 

I get it in the most perfect of photos she looks OK, but in movement and from a step back it is a facade that disappears quickly!

Are you kink-shaming me? 

[HanoiVillan]

Can't fancy someone with legs from an Escher drawing:

[a m ole]

She’s better looking than she is a good person, I will say that.

[Xann]

Quote

 

The New European’s James Ball (a Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist of immaculate standing and reputation) reported Boris Johnson had remarked to guests at a Daily Telegraph Garrick Club dinner that he was suffering from “buyer’s remorse” in his married life.

Whether it was a joke or not, we commented that it demonstrated appalling judgment.

The night of publication, at 10.30pm, I was called by a man who introduced himself as being from the Downing Street press office, but whose name I did not catch.

His opening gambit was that the story was untrue and Boris Johnson was suing The New European for defamation. Had I been sharper of brain, I would have asked him what a public servant was doing spending time on what is clearly a personal legal matter between Johnson and a newspaper. But it was very late, so I merely laughed and told him we stood by the story.

This seemed to irritate him, and after a few more minutes back and forth, he told me: “you just crack on then, mate,” and put the phone down. All very odd.

I texted the mobile number he had called me on to ask him to confirm the threat of legal action, and to send over the Downing Street denial, which he texted across.

I also asked him, twice, to tell me his name. He refused, instructing me instead to phone the Downing Street press office, who would confirm the mobile line was indeed his.

“What’s your name tho?” I texted back. Again, he refused to say.

I phoned the Downing Street press office and spoke to a woman who said it was all very irregular, but she would speak to a colleague and come back to me. That was the last I heard from them.

The following morning, I asked a few political journalist friends if they recognised the phone number the caller used. They confirmed for me it belonged to the Downing Street director of communications Jack Doyle.

I was also told by a number of people that Doyle had spoken to a number of other journalists that previous day, informing them Boris Johnson was taking legal action against The New European, presumably to stop the spread of James’s story.

So, naturally, we reported the story that Boris Johnson was suing The New European.

Within half an hour, this newspaper had received numerous and serious promises of both financial support and legal assistance in our defence.

As a small, independent organisation, this was gratefully received, although I must admit the prospect of getting Boris Johnson into a witness box to defend his, ahem, reputation was mouthwatering.

Disappointingly, I soon began receiving calls from journalists telling me that Downing Street was now denying legal action had been threatened. This is, categorically, a lie, but in the great scheme of things #remorsegate is a very small hill to die on.

Not to downplay the consequence of one’s own scoop, but the story didn’t tell us anything we don’t already know. Boris Johnson is a philanderer, a liar, he is loose-lipped and he’s a bully.

That you can say all of these things of a serving prime minister without even thinking to trouble a lawyer for advice, tells you all you need to know about the man Britain elected to the highest office in the land. Shame on us all.

Whether or not he’s experiencing buyer’s remorse in his union with Carrie is immaterial. What really matters is the buyer’s remorse the entire United Kingdom is experiencing under his government.

 

New European

It's almost as if the Brexit Prime Minister doesn't give a shit about the people he's meant to care for.