Popular Post villa4europe Posted November 2, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted November 2, 2013 I do like the irony of the new Tesco "there's nothing funny about Tesco mobile" adverts featuring gina yashere the comedian who specialises in "nothing funny" 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villaajax Posted November 2, 2013 Share Posted November 2, 2013 I think it's to emphasise the point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ikantcpell Posted November 5, 2013 Share Posted November 5, 2013 A piece of string walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender throws the string out saying "We don't serve strings here!" The string thinks for a minute, ties itself in a knot and teases it's ends and walks back into the bar and orders a beer. The bartender says "Hey, aren't you that string I just threw out of here?" String replies "Nope, I'm a frayed knot" 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adw95 Posted November 5, 2013 Share Posted November 5, 2013 A piece of string walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender throws the string out saying "We don't serve strings here!" The string thinks for a minute, ties itself in a knot and teases it's ends and walks back into the bar and orders a beer. The bartender says "Hey, aren't you that string I just threw out of here?" String replies "Nope, I'm a frayed knot" Jesus **** Christ. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colhint Posted November 5, 2013 Share Posted November 5, 2013 he was the first to tell it 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted November 5, 2013 Moderator Share Posted November 5, 2013 I do like the irony of the new Tesco "there's nothing funny about Tesco mobile" adverts featuring gina yashere the comedian who specialises in "nothing funny" She is a triumph of confidence over ability. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cizzler Posted November 5, 2013 Share Posted November 5, 2013 Comedienne. A one word oxymoron. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AVFC_Hitz Posted November 5, 2013 Share Posted November 5, 2013 Is she the one that starts every line with: "I'm black, right....." 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post whitsend Posted November 5, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted November 5, 2013 Irish police have announced that their very own operation yew tree has been a massive success. All three men were arrested this morning. 16 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meath_Villan Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 Those people who think it's fine to give illegal drugs to animals would wanna get off their high horse... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AVFC_Hitz Posted November 13, 2013 Share Posted November 13, 2013 What do you call a sleep walking nun? A roamin' Catholic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nigel Posted November 18, 2013 VT Supporter Share Posted November 18, 2013 I've just seen my son carrying the toaster up to the bathroom. Fat fecker! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted November 18, 2013 Moderator Share Posted November 18, 2013 Dark Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nigel Posted November 18, 2013 VT Supporter Share Posted November 18, 2013 (edited) A joke for all the family! Edited November 18, 2013 by Nigel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyh29 Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 What if all these celebrities in the yew tree investigation are innocent, and it was Mike Yarwood all the time ? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turnbull Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 Ok, an oldie, but hey................. 53,000 Scousers meet in Anfield for a 'Scousers Are Not Stupid' convention. Steven Gerrard addresses the crowd..'We are all here today to prove to the world that Scousers are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer please?'Wayne Rooney gingerly works his way through the crowd and steps up to the stage.Gerrard asks him 'What is 15 plus 15?'After 15 or 20 seconds Rooney says, ' Forty!'Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then the Scousers start chanting 'Give him another chance! Give him another chance!'Gerrard says, 'Well since we have a capacity crowd, world-wide press and global broadcast media here, I think we can give him another chance.'So he asks, 'What is 5 plus 5?'After nearly 30 seconds he eventually says, ' Twelve?'Gerrard looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh.Everyone is disheartened and Rooney starts crying.But then the 53,000 Scousers begin to yell and wave their hands shouting, 'Give him another chance! Give him another chance!'Gerrard, unsure whether he is now doing more harm than good eventually says, 'OK then, what is 2 plus 2?'Silence hangs over the stadium.Rooney closes his eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says, 'Four?'Pandemonium breaks out throughout the stadium as the Scouse crowd stand to a man, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream,'Give him another chance! Give him another chance!' 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8pints Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 I've heard that joke but it was Noses at the sty...and there was no 000 after 53 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LondonLax Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 Yeah the joke is old as the hills, the subject just changes depending on which group of people you want to insult. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zatman Posted November 22, 2013 Share Posted November 22, 2013 England lost 6 wickets for 9 runs in their first innings of the Ashes, it's the worst collapse seen since Ashley Young last entered a penalty box 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AshVilla Posted November 22, 2013 Share Posted November 22, 2013 Slept like a log last night Woke up in the Fireplace.... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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