rjw63 Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 (edited) Paddy says to Mick "Christmas is on Friday this year". Mick said "Let's hope it's not the 13th then". Edited December 19, 2013 by rjw63 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 A little girl goes to see Father Christmas at the local shopping centre. When she arrives and sits down on Santa's lap Santa asks "What do you want for Christmas little girl?" "I want a Barbie and an Action Man" says the little girl. "But Barbie comes with Ken" Santa says. "No... Barbie cums with Action Man! She only fakes it with Ken..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turnbull Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 I always carve a heart with a woman's initials into a tree on the first date...It's the most romantic way to show her you have a knife. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nigel Posted December 24, 2013 VT Supporter Share Posted December 24, 2013 I hate it when you're sitting on the bus and the local weirdo gets on and sits next to you. You know the type. The one that wont stop watching you masturbate!. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villaajax Posted December 24, 2013 Share Posted December 24, 2013 I hate it when you're sitting on the bus and the local weirdo gets on and sits next to you. You know the type. The one that wont stop watching you masturbate!. I was expecting something Morpheus related. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post tonyh29 Posted December 25, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted December 25, 2013 I hate it when you're sitting on the bus and the local weirdo gets on and sits next to you. You know the type. The one that wont stop watching you masturbate!. I was expecting something Morpheus related. Must have been a bit of an aunty climax 12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villaajax Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 That is gross on so many levels. Good work! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyh29 Posted December 26, 2013 Share Posted December 26, 2013 I went into the confession booth at my chapel week."Forgive me for I have sinned... I had sex with the twelve year old boy next door and keep fantasising about five 8 year olds I know...""Erm.. that's interesting Father. But I was here to confess to you..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyh29 Posted December 26, 2013 Share Posted December 26, 2013 Just opened our presents from nan and my 5-year-old son got a bottle of brandy.Lucky bastard!!I got Spider-Man pyjamas which are way too small for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meath_Villan Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 (edited) I'm not Surprised Suarez didn't score the weekend. After all Chelsea are good at defending Racists!!..................................... Edited December 31, 2013 by Meath_Villan 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turnbull Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 Just because Queen's Brian May plays a guitar made from an old fireplace, it doesn't make him a grate guitarist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whitsend Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 Bloody Foreigner, coming over here, wanting to know what love is. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimzk5 Posted January 2, 2014 Share Posted January 2, 2014 From Frankie Boyle Somewhere in limbo Michael Schumacher is beating Ariel Sharon in a game of chess 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyh29 Posted January 4, 2014 Share Posted January 4, 2014 Two rabbits escape from a research laboratory and find themselves in a field full of carrots, The rabbits cannot believe their luck and they begin eating until they fall asleep.The next day the young rabbit says to the old rabbit " I think it's time to head back to the lab".The old rabbit suggests they see whats in the next field, They find an entire field of cabbages and begin eating. The next day the young rabbit asks to go back to the lab, The old rabbit suggests seeing what is in the other field and once they crawl under the fence they find an entire field full of female rabbits. After an entire day of **** everything in sight the next day the old rabbit turns to the young rabbit and says " I think its time to head back to the lab"The young rabbit asks "Why the hell would you want to go back to the lab we have two fields full of vegetables and the other is filled with female rabbits what more could you want?!"The older rabbit replies,"I'm dying for a fag." 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morley_crosses_to_Withe Posted January 4, 2014 Share Posted January 4, 2014 Tony, that joke is older than you 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turnbull Posted January 4, 2014 Share Posted January 4, 2014 Tony, that joke is older than you So am I probably. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyh29 Posted January 5, 2014 Share Posted January 5, 2014 Tony, that joke is older than you I'm at the age where my memory is going so its like a new joke for me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nigel Posted January 6, 2014 VT Supporter Share Posted January 6, 2014 Michael J Fox's coffee stays in the cup longer than Manchester United Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted January 6, 2014 Moderator Share Posted January 6, 2014 It's cuz he really likes coffee isn't it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AVFC_Hitz Posted January 6, 2014 Share Posted January 6, 2014 Michael J Fox's coffee stays in the cup longer than Manchester United I heard that joke but about Judy Finnegan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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