Meath_Villan Posted October 25, 2013 Share Posted October 25, 2013 I've been trying to finish Alex Ferguson's autobiography, but every time I get near the end Howard Webb adds another 5 pages. robbed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyh29 Posted October 25, 2013 Share Posted October 25, 2013 I've been trying to finish Alex Ferguson's autobiography, but every time I get near the end Howard Webb adds another 5 pages. robbed tbf I stole it from Nick Rogers ... Hi Nick Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyh29 Posted October 28, 2013 Share Posted October 28, 2013 My boss called me into his office this morning."One of your team has complained about you," he said. "She claims you never listen to her and treat her like a sex object." "I bet I know who that is," I replied nonchalantly."Go on then," he challenged me, "Who do you think it is?""I don't know her name, but a tenner says it's the one with the big tits." 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turnbull Posted October 29, 2013 Share Posted October 29, 2013 Asked the Mrs. for a bit of the other last night and she just started rubbing my cock with her car keys.I thought to myself, "is it me or is she just fobbing me off". 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post StefanAVFC Posted October 29, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted October 29, 2013 If electricity always follows the path of least resistance, why doesn't lightning only strike in France? 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AVFC_Hitz Posted October 29, 2013 Share Posted October 29, 2013 I've just made a giant jelly of Robert Mugabe. I fear I may have set a dangerous president. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post whitsend Posted October 31, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted October 31, 2013 Magnum PI has only ever solved 3.14 crimes. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turnbull Posted October 31, 2013 Share Posted October 31, 2013 That took a while.............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meath_Villan Posted October 31, 2013 Share Posted October 31, 2013 Magnum PI has only ever solved 3.14 crimes. Genius and robbed for fb Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted October 31, 2013 Moderator Share Posted October 31, 2013 Apologies for the Irish-centric nature of this joke My Halloween predictions for tonight. Ballymun Youths 3-0 Dublin Fire Brigade Finglas Ultras 2-0 An Gardaí Tyrrelstown Locals 3-3 Tyrrelstown Irish Donnybrook 0-0 An Gardaí Parnell Street 10-0 Grafton Street Tallaght Terriors v Dublin Fire Brigade (Tallaght force a walkover) North circular rd and South circular rd will play a friendly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StefanAVFC Posted October 31, 2013 Share Posted October 31, 2013 Joe Hart wanted to dress up as a ghost for Man. City's Halloween party. Unfortunately, he hasn't got enough clean sheets. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nigel Posted October 31, 2013 VT Supporter Share Posted October 31, 2013 First thing this morning, there was a tap on my door. Funny fecker my plumber! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ikantcpell Posted October 31, 2013 Share Posted October 31, 2013 Joe Hart wanted to dress up as a ghost for Man. City's Halloween party. Unfortunately, he hasn't got enough clean sheets. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nigel Posted October 31, 2013 VT Supporter Share Posted October 31, 2013 What do you call an elevator with a group of slim, softly spoken, intelligent people inside? A lift. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ikantcpell Posted October 31, 2013 Share Posted October 31, 2013 A 75-year-old man went to his favorite bar and met a woman. They hit it off and went to her place and had sex. The old man tried and tried, but he could not achieve orgasm. A few days later, he noticed a drip at the end of his penis, so he went to see the doctor about this oddity. The doctor asked him if he had sex recently to which the old man said that he had. "Do you remember who the woman was and where she lived?" the doctor asked. "Sure do," replied the old man. "Then you better get over there right away," said the doctor, "You're about to come Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AVFC_Hitz Posted November 1, 2013 Share Posted November 1, 2013 A 75-year-old man went to his favorite bar and met a woman. They hit it off and went to her place and had sex. The old man tried and tried, but he could not achieve orgasm. A few days later, he noticed a drip at the end of his penis, so he went to see the doctor about this oddity. The doctor asked him if he had sex recently to which the old man said that he had. "Do you remember who the woman was and where she lived?" the doctor asked. "Sure do," replied the old man. "Then you better get over there right away," said the doctor, "You're about to come Eh? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Risso Posted November 1, 2013 Share Posted November 1, 2013 What do you call an elevator with a group of slim, softly spoken, intelligent people inside? A lift. That's very good, will send it to a couple of my American friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nigel Posted November 1, 2013 VT Supporter Share Posted November 1, 2013 What's funnier than a female comedian? Everything. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villa4europe Posted November 1, 2013 Share Posted November 1, 2013 andi osho? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post villaajax Posted November 2, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted November 2, 2013 andi osho? She's as hilarious as Shappi "Did I mention I'm Iranian" Khorsandi 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts