Phumfeinz Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 He actually broke both of his legs, and an arm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
privateer Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 I can confirm he actually broke all three of his legs - he's the longest in the shower - but due to his healing and self-regeneration properties he didn't even break stride. In the post-apocalyptic wasteland of the earth only two figures will remain. Benteke and Milner playing jerries with human skulls. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DJ_Villain Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 The twitter hoax reeks of either a Bluenose or Yid trying to shit us up... Or someone desperately trying to get their pals to sell Benteke from their fantasy league team.... Either way... Tossers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ciggiesnbeer Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 Slightly off-topic, but still about Benteke-ish. The first 2-3 minutes of this link really shows how terrible Mark Lawrenson is as a pundit, apparently can't get into a top 6 side, I wouldn't be surprised if he was playing for Real Madrid this time next year. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8yva6PLMpkA He's just so dismissiveness about it what a word I'm not allowed to say. Edit: Kept watching the video it's amazing he's awful Match of the Day is truly awful. The fact that he was so bad they have kicked him off that, shows just how crap he is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
privateer Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 Match of the Day is truly awful. The fact that he was so bad they have kicked him off that, shows just how crap he is. True. To get kicked off that you have to be a sub-Ron Manager level pundit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted August 15, 2013 VT Supporter Share Posted August 15, 2013 Just saw on Twitter than Benteke's head exploded in last night's match and has obliterated half of Europe. Millions dead, APPARENTLY. Can anyone confirm? The tweet had #ITK in it so I'm pretty sure it's true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikeyp102 Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 The recent asteroid shower came about because Benteke was given a can of diet coke and threw into the sky in disgust. It collided with the moon and caused an explosion, we can't see it exploded yet as it happened faster than the speed of light. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raver50032 Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 (edited) Joey Barton is a loathsome scallywag. He should go back to copying and pasting philosophical quotes, thinking he's one of our generation's great thinkers, and leave his half baked opinions inside his empty head. And for the record, if (and it was rumoured on here once or twice a couple of years back), Joey Barton ever signs for this club, that will be me out. He is a mark one nasty word removed who contributes **** all for the game for any of the teams he alleges to have played for. He is c**tish word removed of the highest order. He's had more chances than a game of Monopoly and the game will be well rid of the little word removed when he is finally withdrawn from service. Mark 1 Shitbag. <and breathe> Edited August 15, 2013 by Raver50032 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted August 15, 2013 VT Supporter Share Posted August 15, 2013 Luckily Joey Barton is more or less the exact opposite of the sort of players Lambert seems to sign. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raver50032 Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 No need to scare us like that Hey 1991, nice avatar again, you sure know how to pick them. That cheeky tongue poke is raising hairs on the back of my neck... Full marks from me. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Biskitt Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9rG_sf2pwn8 being dubbed the 'next benteke' 21 year old Nigerian striker, looks quality Just got round to watching this. He looks good ! His team got relegated as well didn't they ? Could be someone to get in cheap and then loan out ( or keep him and loan Bowery out ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mantis Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 The worst thing about Barton is that he's all too willing to judge other players/people in general yet he's perhaps one of the nastiest and scummiest players ever to play in the Premier League. Worse than Terry and Suarez IMO. As others have said, thank God Lambert isn't after that sort of player. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JAMAICAN-VILLAN Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 Whilst I agree with everyone how incredibly important Benteke is for us, and his undoubted class. I've really started to get annoyed at how everyone makes it seemed that we are condemned to failure without him, Jesus so when he eventually goes should we just demote ourselves to the championship voluntarily? It''s also a big lack of respect to all the other players in the TEAM who also play vital roles. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AVFCforever1991 Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 (edited) Whilst I agree with everyone how incredibly important Benteke is for us, and his undoubted class. I've really started to get annoyed at how everyone makes it seemed that we are condemned to failure without him, Jesus so when he eventually goes should we just demote ourselves to the championship voluntarily? It''s also a big lack of respect to all the other players in the TEAM who also play vital roles. I guess we now know how Spurs fans feel Edited August 15, 2013 by AVFCforever1991 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zatman Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 i bet it was Glaston who spread that rumour Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndyM3000 Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 Whilst I agree with everyone how incredibly important Benteke is for us, and his undoubted class. I've really started to get annoyed at how everyone makes it seemed that we are condemned to failure without him, Jesus so when he eventually goes should we just demote ourselves to the championship voluntarily? It''s also a big lack of respect to all the other players in the TEAM who also play vital roles. Its pretty true though, without him we would be down the bottom again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mantis Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 Whilst I agree with everyone how incredibly important Benteke is for us, and his undoubted class. I've really started to get annoyed at how everyone makes it seemed that we are condemned to failure without him, Jesus so when he eventually goes should we just demote ourselves to the championship voluntarily? It''s also a big lack of respect to all the other players in the TEAM who also play vital roles. Its pretty true though, without him we would be down the bottom again. How do you know this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndyM3000 Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 Whilst I agree with everyone how incredibly important Benteke is for us, and his undoubted class. I've really started to get annoyed at how everyone makes it seemed that we are condemned to failure without him, Jesus so when he eventually goes should we just demote ourselves to the championship voluntarily? It''s also a big lack of respect to all the other players in the TEAM who also play vital roles. Its pretty true though, without him we would be down the bottom again. How do you know this? Just by watching the games. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LondonLax Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 Whilst I agree with everyone how incredibly important Benteke is for us, and his undoubted class. I've really started to get annoyed at how everyone makes it seemed that we are condemned to failure without him, Jesus so when he eventually goes should we just demote ourselves to the championship voluntarily? It''s also a big lack of respect to all the other players in the TEAM who also play vital roles. Its pretty true though, without him we would be down the bottom again. How do you know this? Yeah, back down the bottom again? We haven't left the bottom places yet, we could still be there next season. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AVFCforever1991 Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 (edited) The only way someone could know that is if they could travel to another universe where we didn't buy Benteke and see if we went down, unfortunately this isn't Fringe... Edited August 15, 2013 by AVFCforever1991 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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