Demitri_C Posted March 21, 2016 Share Posted March 21, 2016 1 hour ago, Shropshire Lad said: Sounds like you handled it well so good work Dem. And good move on the tinder etc, just enjoy the single pringle life mate. (wonder if Lapal will like that reference or not ) Well mate end of the day even though I did think she was a top girl i just think no point waiting around. If its meant to be it will, if it isnt there is plenty women out there 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr_Pangloss Posted March 21, 2016 Share Posted March 21, 2016 4 hours ago, Demitri_C said: I have no idea mate. She said I was always thoughtful with her, nice and we clicked so well. I think she just wants her ex back or maybe I was too nice to her who knows! Certain women can never be pleased, and i think she may fall into that catergory. But I dont want to blow my own trumpet but i dont have a problem attracting women so if not her i am sure i can please someone else Women like that are words removed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted March 21, 2016 Share Posted March 21, 2016 5 hours ago, Demitri_C said: So I am back on the single train as have split with that Indian girl. She was a bit distant from me when I was in Thailand so I had a feeling upon my return that it would be over. So we had a telephone conversation last night and she tells me her exs mother (who she was close to) passed away, she was ill but not to the level where they expected her to pass. She told me she met her ex to discuss with him, which i found bizarre cant you do that over the phone? Turns out he has moved on and met someone else (well it has been over a year!) so she was still unsure about me. So I was like I will make decision easy time we go seperate paths. Im thinking not going to waste any more time on this if you still dont know bye bye. So its over on good terms, think its more mutual. I did like her, and I think she likes me but she scared of getting hurt. She thanked me for treating her like a lady and for the laughs we had.I think later on she might message me in few months once she meets a few other guys and realised what she lost as she seems that kind of person. but I would probably moved on by then. now have reinstalled tinder and the fun begins again So, I need to ask... How many girls did you shag in Thailand? As for the Indian girl, sounds like a shame, but the whole 'scared of getting hurt' is bullshit. If you don't want to get hurt, don't go on dates love! Be a spinster! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted March 21, 2016 Share Posted March 21, 2016 5 hours ago, Rugeley Villa said: ask rob, hes great at giving advice. Say "you know, I've got a massive cock..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post GeorgeVilla82 Posted March 22, 2016 VT Supporter Popular Post Share Posted March 22, 2016 18 hours ago, Xela said: As for the Indian girl, sounds like a shame, but the whole 'scared of getting hurt' is bullshit. If you don't want to get hurt, don't go on dates love! Be a spinster! Just adding a bit of female perspective - my ex of 15 years and I broke up after he'd been cheating on me. After a while, I went on a few dates as I was ready to move on and have fun, but was definitely very cautious (probably subconsciously) of getting too emotionally involved with anyone else because of the risk of being hurt again. After a while I met someone absolutely brilliant, and moved in with him after a year, but still couldn't shake the feeling that I wasn't really giving it my all as I just assumed that he'd probably end up hurting me too, so it was easier not to get too attached in the first place. I soon realised that I was at risk of jeopardising a really good relationship just because of not wanting to let myself get hurt again and went to talk to someone about it. Made me realise I was being stupid, and now everything's great. It may be completely different with your girl Dem, and she may want her ex back (in which case, stay well clear), but it's not as easy as "being a spinster" if you don't want to get hurt - all a bit more complicated than that. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted March 22, 2016 Moderator Share Posted March 22, 2016 On 03/03/2016 at 18:33, Ingram85 said: Haha, I'll never forget Rocket League lol, I still maintain I am no where near as Brummie sounding as jono Well you don't really look Brummie in your avatar tbf. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted March 22, 2016 Share Posted March 22, 2016 30 minutes ago, GeorgeVilla82 said: Just adding a bit of female perspective - my ex of 15 years and I broke up after he'd been cheating on me. After a while, I went on a few dates as I was ready to move on and have fun, but was definitely very cautious (probably subconsciously) of getting too emotionally involved with anyone else because of the risk of being hurt again. After a while I met someone absolutely brilliant, and moved in with him after a year, but still couldn't shake the feeling that I wasn't really giving it my all as I just assumed that he'd probably end up hurting me too, so it was easier not to get too attached in the first place. I soon realised that I was at risk of jeopardising a really good relationship just because of not wanting to let myself get hurt again and went to talk to someone about it. Made me realise I was being stupid, and now everything's great. It may be completely different with your girl Dem, and she may want her ex back (in which case, stay well clear), but it's not as easy as "being a spinster" if you don't want to get hurt - all a bit more complicated than that. I don't understand the bold bit. I can't change who I am (a lazy, sometimes selfish, irritating idiot), I cannot control how much emotion I "put into" something or someone - I either do or don't.. If you can possibly understand that (wow, quantifying a feeling is hard). If I was with someone I really liked, I don't know how I could possibly "slow down" the relationship or "alter" my own personality in fear of what someone else may or may not do. That entire aspect of dating or peacocking is just completely alien to me. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GeorgeVilla82 Posted March 22, 2016 VT Supporter Share Posted March 22, 2016 @lapal_fan I found that it wasn't a conscious decision to tread cautiously - just an underlying need for self-preservation against something that had been very painful when it happened previously. You're right that emotions are difficult to explain, but I suppose it's not that different to physical pain. If you've spilled boiling water down your arm when emptying a kettle (which I did recently!), then you're naturally going to be more cautious the next time you use a kettle. (sorry, crap analogy) 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted March 22, 2016 Share Posted March 22, 2016 Just now, GeorgeVilla82 said: @lapal_fan I found that it wasn't a conscious decision to tread cautiously - just an underlying need for self-preservation against something that had been very painful when it happened previously. You're right that emotions are difficult to explain, but I suppose it's not that different to physical pain. If you've spilled boiling water down your arm when emptying a kettle (which I did recently!), then you're naturally going to be more cautious the next time you use a kettle. (sorry, crap analogy) Actually, I quite liked it I guess you're right, you could, I suppose, become slightly more guarded to other people after something negative happening in a past relationship. I guess I've just never really thought about it, I must have been lucky. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foreveryoung Posted March 22, 2016 Share Posted March 22, 2016 1 hour ago, lapal_fan said: Actually, I quite liked it I guess you're right, you could, I suppose, become slightly more guarded to other people after something negative happening in a past relationship. I guess I've just never really thought about it, I must have been lucky. Good analogy, but then some don't care, or get too emotionally involved. It would be like a hard lad getting burnt by that kettle, an thinking that didn't hurt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted March 22, 2016 Share Posted March 22, 2016 Just now, foreveryoung said: Good analogy, but then some don't care, or get too emotionally involved. It would be like a hard lad getting burnt by that kettle, an thinking that didn't hurt. C'mon.. we know you're not hard 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Demitri_C Posted March 22, 2016 Share Posted March 22, 2016 4 hours ago, GeorgeVilla82 said: Just adding a bit of female perspective - my ex of 15 years and I broke up after he'd been cheating on me. After a while, I went on a few dates as I was ready to move on and have fun, but was definitely very cautious (probably subconsciously) of getting too emotionally involved with anyone else because of the risk of being hurt again. After a while I met someone absolutely brilliant, and moved in with him after a year, but still couldn't shake the feeling that I wasn't really giving it my all as I just assumed that he'd probably end up hurting me too, so it was easier not to get too attached in the first place. I soon realised that I was at risk of jeopardising a really good relationship just because of not wanting to let myself get hurt again and went to talk to someone about it. Made me realise I was being stupid, and now everything's great. It may be completely different with your girl Dem, and she may want her ex back (in which case, stay well clear), but it's not as easy as "being a spinster" if you don't want to get hurt - all a bit more complicated than that. This part in bold is what I think went wrong with us and she didnt think like you about jeopardising a good relationship instead it was more about getting hurt which I think is stupid. She may want to get back with ex but he has moved on lives outside london and has new partner. if that isnt telling you to move on the your a fool. No skin off my nose though as I know her loss is someone elses to gain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted March 22, 2016 Share Posted March 22, 2016 5 hours ago, GeorgeVilla82 said: Just adding a bit of female perspective - my ex of 15 years and I broke up after he'd been cheating on me. After a while, I went on a few dates as I was ready to move on and have fun, but was definitely very cautious (probably subconsciously) of getting too emotionally involved with anyone else because of the risk of being hurt again. After a while I met someone absolutely brilliant, and moved in with him after a year, but still couldn't shake the feeling that I wasn't really giving it my all as I just assumed that he'd probably end up hurting me too, so it was easier not to get too attached in the first place. I soon realised that I was at risk of jeopardising a really good relationship just because of not wanting to let myself get hurt again and went to talk to someone about it. Made me realise I was being stupid, and now everything's great. It may be completely different with your girl Dem, and she may want her ex back (in which case, stay well clear), but it's not as easy as "being a spinster" if you don't want to get hurt - all a bit more complicated than that. Maybe I'm a more simple creature but if I like someone I like someone, if I don't I don't. Maybe I'm lucky for having such a basic/naive way of thinking! Anyway, I'll be that mad cat woman in a few years! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlwaysAVFC Posted March 22, 2016 Share Posted March 22, 2016 I'm in a bit of a tricky situation as I'm at the stage where I'd like to move in with my girlfriend and she wants me to move in too. Currently financially it is not realistically possible, as it would actually cost me much more to live with her than it does now. Things hopefully will be changing soon, I just don't have a timescale. It could be 3 months, it could be a fair bit longer. I just feel a bit shit that I can't be more definite. We've not even been going out a year yet so it's not like I've been putting her off for ages. It is the only option as it would put the relationship under too much pressure if I moved in and had no money. Hopefully it's not going to be an issue but it is a concern I have. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikeyp102 Posted March 22, 2016 Share Posted March 22, 2016 2 hours ago, AlwaysAVFC said: I'm in a bit of a tricky situation as I'm at the stage where I'd like to move in with my girlfriend and she wants me to move in too. Currently financially it is not realistically possible, as it would actually cost me much more to live with her than it does now. Things hopefully will be changing soon, I just don't have a timescale. It could be 3 months, it could be a fair bit longer. I just feel a bit shit that I can't be more definite. We've not even been going out a year yet so it's not like I've been putting her off for ages. It is the only option as it would put the relationship under too much pressure if I moved in and had no money. Hopefully it's not going to be an issue but it is a concern I have. Less than a year is hardly a long time together so another 3 months or is hardly to make things worse. There is no point moving in if it means that you will be insecure financially, as that will put more undue stress on you. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikeyp102 Posted March 22, 2016 Share Posted March 22, 2016 So been chatting to this girl on tinder, who I actually fancied way back when at college. Was meant to meet up Sunday but she cancelled because of a hangover. She text saying we should rearrange but now I haven't heard back from her. Text her yesterday asking if she felt better but nothing back. Normally I'd just walk away from it now with her not replying, but because of liking her for so long I don't want to. Think I'll wait another couple of days then send another text seeing if she still wants to meet up.... Not optimistic though. Going to be a crazy cat man (without the cats) for the rest of days... Bad times Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Mark Albrighton Posted March 22, 2016 VT Supporter Popular Post Share Posted March 22, 2016 40 minutes ago, mikeyp102 said: So been chatting to this girl on tinder, who I actually fancied way back when at college. Was meant to meet up Sunday but she cancelled because of a hangover. She text saying we should rearrange but now I haven't heard back from her. Text her yesterday asking if she felt better but nothing back. Normally I'd just walk away from it now with her not replying, but because of liking her for so long I don't want to. Think I'll wait another couple of days then send another text seeing if she still wants to meet up.... Not optimistic though. Going to be a crazy cat man (without the cats) for the rest of days... Bad times Hate it when girls do that. Yeah don't give up just yet, but prepare yourself for the cold shoulder anyway. Like you say, in a couple of days just ask her how she is and if she wants to go for a drink/whatever and if she gives an indifferent response (or no response) more fool her, move on. Fingers crossed mate. I'm not fussed about cats but I'm not against a possible cat-share scheme between me, you, Dem & Xela should the need arise. Worth considering I think. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wainy316 Posted March 22, 2016 Share Posted March 22, 2016 Dick pic will solve everything. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Albrighton Posted March 22, 2016 VT Supporter Share Posted March 22, 2016 Yeah just give the old chap a bit of a hair cut if you do. No elephant tusks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted March 23, 2016 Share Posted March 23, 2016 nah just tell her your going to slap her about a bit and treat her like the bitch she is and she will probably be inerested. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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