Kingman Posted March 30, 2016 Share Posted March 30, 2016 21 hours ago, Ingram85 said: One eye slightly bigger than the other wnb 2/10. Honestly, I'd leave her looking a plasterers radio that was left in the centre of a bukkake party. Then I'd fingerblast her. Better than having a face like a welders bench who's had more stiffs than Quincy and seen more Japs-eyes than a Tokyo opticians. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 On 29/03/2016 at 21:17, Demitri_C said: Hope this works Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted April 1, 2016 Share Posted April 1, 2016 On 30/03/2016 at 08:23, Demitri_C said: all you free single men feel free to apply for this ‘Naked Attraction’: New Dating Show Sees Potential Couples Meet In The Buff Xela, Mikey ? :) Nah, when i'm nervous it shrinks. It would resemble a moist button mushroom if the TV cameras were pointed at it! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted April 2, 2016 Share Posted April 2, 2016 Horse cock heaven Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dAVe80 Posted April 2, 2016 Share Posted April 2, 2016 (edited) edit Edited April 2, 2016 by dAVe80 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dAVe80 Posted April 2, 2016 Share Posted April 2, 2016 (edited) Doesn't matter. Stay sober kids. Edited April 2, 2016 by dAVe80 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jon Posted April 2, 2016 Share Posted April 2, 2016 Did you imbibe a few beverages last night Mr 80? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dAVe80 Posted April 2, 2016 Share Posted April 2, 2016 28 minutes ago, Jon said: Did you imbibe a few beverages last night Mr 80? Yep. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted April 2, 2016 Share Posted April 2, 2016 Me too, only just surfaced Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted April 2, 2016 Share Posted April 2, 2016 4 hours ago, dAVe80 said: Yep. Every word you said in your drunken diatribe was true...although the bit about wanting to mount troon_villan and make him squeal was a bit OTT 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dAVe80 Posted April 2, 2016 Share Posted April 2, 2016 9 minutes ago, Xela said: Every word you said in your drunken diatribe was true...although the bit about wanting to mount troon_villan and make him squeal was a bit OTT Honestly woke up at about 7 in desperate need of a piss, and made sure I edited my drunken ramblings before I emptied my bladder. It's no wonder I blew my chances of getting my end away last night, I was obviously a drunken mess. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Demitri_C Posted April 3, 2016 Share Posted April 3, 2016 So I met that girl yesterday. She is very pretty girl we got on well. She just seems abit more meaty than what I go for. But she told me she use to be 22 stone and now she is a 12 top and 14 bottom. She is aiming to be a 10, and I think she will be really sexy when she gets to it. She has the motivation and drive so I think she will get there. Just seems a ill insecure about her weight. she has told me she likes me though so let's see what happens Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
troon_villan Posted April 3, 2016 Share Posted April 3, 2016 Every word you said in your drunken diatribe was true...although the bit about wanting to mount troon_villan and make him squeal was a bit OTT [emoji14] Err what did I miss? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted April 3, 2016 Share Posted April 3, 2016 4 hours ago, Demitri_C said: So I met that girl yesterday. She is very pretty girl we got on well. She just seems abit more meaty than what I go for. But she told me she use to be 22 stone and now she is a 12 top and 14 bottom. She is aiming to be a 10, and I think she will be really sexy when she gets to it. She has the motivation and drive so I think she will get there. Just seems a ill insecure about her weight. she has told me she likes me though so let's see what happens DHUTWU Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
troon_villan Posted April 3, 2016 Share Posted April 3, 2016 Make it so Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villakram Posted April 4, 2016 Share Posted April 4, 2016 On 4/3/2016 at 05:31, Demitri_C said: So I met that girl yesterday. She is very pretty girl we got on well. She just seems abit more meaty than what I go for. But she told me she use to be 22 stone and now she is a 12 top and 14 bottom. She is aiming to be a 10, and I think she will be really sexy when she gets to it. She has the motivation and drive so I think she will get there. Just seems a ill insecure about her weight. she has told me she likes me though so let's see what happens It's a trap! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post PieFacE Posted April 6, 2016 VT Supporter Popular Post Share Posted April 6, 2016 (edited) So something incredibly funny but also quite embarrassing happened last night between me and my girlfriend, and I feel like I need to tell someone so VT, I'm telling you. We arranged for her to come over to mine for a curry which I made from scratch. All the good stuff was involved in this curry, peppers, onions, chili, chicken pieces etc, and it tasted amazing! It was pretty hot too but that didn't seem to phase her which was good. Anyway, after a few glasses of wine we make our way into the bedroom, get undressed, and start the foreplay which was good fun. Here's the part where it got a bit troublesome..... Little did I know, I still had chili all over my fingers, and my fingers went into a very sensitive area (Not UTWU Rob before you ask), which lead to me laughing my head off at the situation and her laughing but also nearly in tears. Apparently it's pretty painful and extremely hot. Many ice cubes were sacrificed. I offered to pour milk over it but apparently that's weird?!? TL;DR version - Don't handle Chili before sex!!! Or you know, wash your hands properly afterwards... Edited April 6, 2016 by PieFacE 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Demitri_C Posted April 6, 2016 Share Posted April 6, 2016 31 minutes ago, PieFacE said: So something incredibly funny but also quite embarrassing happened last night between me and my girlfriend, and I feel like I need to tell someone so VT, I'm telling you. We arranged for her to come over to mine for a curry which I made from scratch. All the good stuff was involved in this curry, peppers, onions, chili, chicken pieces etc, and it tasted amazing! It was pretty hot too but that didn't seem to phase her which was good. Anyway, after a few glasses of wine we make our way into the bedroom, get undressed, and start the foreplay which was good fun. Here's the part where it got a bit troublesome..... Little did I know, I still had chili all over my fingers, and my fingers went into a very sensitive area (Not UTWU Rob before you ask), which lead to me laughing my head off at the situation and her laughing but also nearly in tears. Apparently it's pretty painful and extremely hot. Many ice cubes were sacrificed. I offered to pour milk over it but apparently that's weird?!? TL;DR version - Don't handle Chili before sex!!! Or you know, wash your hands properly afterwards... Best story I have heard for a while on here 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dAVe80 Posted April 6, 2016 Share Posted April 6, 2016 45 minutes ago, PieFacE said: So something incredibly funny but also quite embarrassing happened last night between me and my girlfriend, and I feel like I need to tell someone so VT, I'm telling you. We arranged for her to come over to mine for a curry which I made from scratch. All the good stuff was involved in this curry, peppers, onions, chili, chicken pieces etc, and it tasted amazing! It was pretty hot too but that didn't seem to phase her which was good. Anyway, after a few glasses of wine we make our way into the bedroom, get undressed, and start the foreplay which was good fun. Here's the part where it got a bit troublesome..... Little did I know, I still had chili all over my fingers, and my fingers went into a very sensitive area (Not UTWU Rob before you ask), which lead to me laughing my head off at the situation and her laughing but also nearly in tears. Apparently it's pretty painful and extremely hot. Many ice cubes were sacrificed. I offered to pour milk over it but apparently that's weird?!? TL;DR version - Don't handle Chili before sex!!! Or you know, wash your hands properly afterwards... In a hungover state, I was once eating sausages with a very hot chili sauce. In the middle of my meal, I needed to go for a pee, so stopped and went to the loo to drain the lizard. After I'd sat back down, I started to get a burning sensation on my own sausage. Had to jump in a cold shower, it was that bad. I feel her pain. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
troon_villan Posted April 6, 2016 Share Posted April 6, 2016 Haha that happened to a mate and his missus a few years back. We called her Vinda Vadge for ages. She was a good sport about it though! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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