BOF Posted August 19, 2011 Moderator Share Posted August 19, 2011 I actually really enjoy my 15 minutes How in hell does it take people that long to dump? And I know it's fairly common too. People who bring a book/newspaper etc. Really and truly, I dunno. Perhaps you're going before you are actually ready to go? I'm more a 1.5 minutes man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coda Posted August 19, 2011 Share Posted August 19, 2011 It's not good sitting on the bog for too long, can cause Johnny Giles. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theunderstudy Posted August 19, 2011 Share Posted August 19, 2011 How I can cause holes to rip in the fabric of time. Or how much damage I could do if I could meddle with time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wiggyrichard Posted August 19, 2011 Share Posted August 19, 2011 I actually really enjoy my 15 minutes How in hell does it take people that long to dump? And I know it's fairly common too. People who bring a book/newspaper etc. Really and truly, I dunno. Perhaps you're going before you are actually ready to go? I'm more a 1.5 minutes man. Like i said further in my post mate, its the only time i get chance get stuck into whatever im reading. I have just finished 'Donnie Brasco', and it has been read cover to cover on the shitter, it has never left the bathroom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
legov Posted August 19, 2011 Share Posted August 19, 2011 Why does it take roughly 10-12 hours for what I eat to come out as shit, but when I eat pea & ham soup it makes me fart like a trouper less than 60 minutes after? Why did God create a world that required humans to do something as stupid and mundane as taking a shit? Nothing feels more of a necessary waste of time than going to the toilet to crap. I actually really enjoy my 15 minutes peace and quiet in a morning! Its the only time i get chance to have a good go at whatever book im reading. Not to mention it **** stinks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wiggyrichard Posted August 19, 2011 Share Posted August 19, 2011 Why does it take roughly 10-12 hours for what I eat to come out as shit, but when I eat pea & ham soup it makes me fart like a trouper less than 60 minutes after? Why did God create a world that required humans to do something as stupid and mundane as taking a shit? Nothing feels more of a necessary waste of time than going to the toilet to crap. I actually really enjoy my 15 minutes peace and quiet in a morning! Its the only time i get chance to have a good go at whatever book im reading. Not to mention it **** stinks. Nah...you flush after you've shed the load! Down there for dancing! 8) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted August 19, 2011 Share Posted August 19, 2011 what is a lapal?? Someone in the 'post something nice about the above poster' said it was a mytholgical creature, but I only know it as a place in Halesowen where I played football.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted August 19, 2011 VT Supporter Share Posted August 19, 2011 Isn't it like the collar of a suit? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
harris21 Posted August 19, 2011 Share Posted August 19, 2011 Why is it that every day I look at the clock on my work computer it allways says 11:11... happend when I was at college as well. It's like my mind knows it's 11:11 and reminds me to look at it!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarewsEyebrowDesigner Posted August 19, 2011 Share Posted August 19, 2011 Isn't it like the collar of a suit? That's lapel innit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ponky Posted August 20, 2011 Share Posted August 20, 2011 what is a lapal?? Someone in the 'post something nice about the above poster' said it was a mytholgical creature, but I only know it as a place in Halesowen where I played football.. I was trying to think of something nice to say so I was forced to resort to fabrication. There is no such beast as lapal , unless it is somehow related to a narwhal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
legov Posted August 20, 2011 Share Posted August 20, 2011 Why does it take roughly 10-12 hours for what I eat to come out as shit, but when I eat pea & ham soup it makes me fart like a trouper less than 60 minutes after? Why did God create a world that required humans to do something as stupid and mundane as taking a shit? Nothing feels more of a necessary waste of time than going to the toilet to crap. I actually really enjoy my 15 minutes peace and quiet in a morning! Its the only time i get chance to have a good go at whatever book im reading. Not to mention it **** stinks. Nah...you flush after you've shed the load! Down there for dancing! 8) It sits inside your body for a few hours....more if you're suffering from constipation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted August 20, 2011 Author VT Supporter Share Posted August 20, 2011 Why is it that every day I look at the clock on my work computer it allways says 11:11... happend when I was at college as well. It's like my mind knows it's 11:11 and reminds me to look at it!!Strangely enough, I used to know a girl who was obsessed with the idea that she ALWAYS looked at her watch at 11:11. I think we have the makings of a crap movie here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted August 20, 2011 VT Supporter Share Posted August 20, 2011 Why is it that every day I look at the clock on my work computer it allways says 11:11... happend when I was at college as well. It's like my mind knows it's 11:11 and reminds me to look at it!!Strangely enough, I used to know a girl who was obsessed with the idea that she ALWAYS looked at her watch at 11:11. I think we have the makings of a crap movie here. You've got about 2 and a half months to make it. Once you miss that deadline it wouldn't be worth releasing it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Troglodyte Posted August 20, 2011 VT Supporter Share Posted August 20, 2011 It means you must listen to the album, 11:11, by Rodrigo y Gabriela. It's brilliant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anthony Posted August 20, 2011 VT Supporter Share Posted August 20, 2011 Why does it take roughly 10-12 hours for what I eat to come out as shit, but when I eat pea & ham soup it makes me fart like a trouper less than 60 minutes after? Why did God create a world that required humans to do something as stupid and mundane as taking a shit? Nothing feels more of a necessary waste of time than going to the toilet to crap. I actually really enjoy my 15 minutes peace and quiet in a morning! Its the only time i get chance to have a good go at whatever book im reading. Fifteen minutes? Fifteen **** minutes? Holy, er, crap Batman! You ever thought of maybe the odd spoonful of Muesli or maybe bran flakes? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maqroll Posted August 21, 2011 Share Posted August 21, 2011 Why women always talk about how they all look when they meet up...**** get over yourselves Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anthony Posted August 21, 2011 VT Supporter Share Posted August 21, 2011 Why I always turn out all the lights before I go to bed. Every bloody time. So I end up making my way from the sofa to the bedroom in complete darkness. I have bruises. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jezza Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 Why the combination of fruit mixed with yoghurt makes me fart uncontrollably. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted August 22, 2011 Author VT Supporter Share Posted August 22, 2011 Why I always turn out all the lights before I go to bed. Every bloody time. So I end up making my way from the sofa to the bedroom in complete darkness. I have bruises.Don't you have two-way switches? I do the same thing, but the last one to get switched off is the landing light immediately outside the bedroom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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