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rjw63

Paddy's "Things that cheer you up"

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So which feminist campaign should I take as representative of feminism? 'Free the Nipple' or the successful banning of nipples in the sun campaign?

 

the one against titilation

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Go on then, you twisted my arm ;)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L2IzFUwSNGw

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Loved Bo Selecta, although season 3 was pretty shit


Ugh. Bo Selecta. What a load of shite.

Stevo's 2nd Law:

 

Whatever CED says, the opposite is true.

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Loved Bo Selecta, although season 3 was pretty shit

Ugh. Bo Selecta. What a load of shite.

Stevo's 2nd Law:

 

Whatever CED says, the opposite is true.

 

 

Even "Jonny Evans is better than all of Villa's defenders"?

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I've never shit in a public bathroom, apart from the ones at work, if that counts.

 

I also had never used the toilet on an Aeroplane until last summer. Number 1 or Number 2

Edited by Stevo985

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Apologies for the shit related story, but I'm reminded of possibly the worst public toilet visit of my life. I'd just got back into London, having flown in after my holiday to Barbados (having been drinking red wine all flight), and had an hour or so to kill, until my train from Kings Cross back up North. I was in desperate need to use the toilet, so went into the Burger King over the road from the station, and found that the only lav was occupied. I was on the verge of touching cloth, so decided to risk a brisk walk to the McDonalds next door. When I got in there, I found although the toilet door was open, a member of staff was in there, and was pissing all over the toilet seat. In a rage I asked him, what the **** he was doing?  He grunted at me, as he left. As I was at the "it has to happen now" stage, I covered the seat in loo roll, and sat down to do one of the biggest and and most foul smelling red wine shit of my life. After I'd finished, I walked out without flushing, and told the first member of staff I saw, that they might want to get the member of staff, who had been pissing all over the seat to clean it up.

 

Edited by dAVe80
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So we are talking toilet stories. Back in the late 80's, early 90's I spent some of the happiest weekends of my life at an indie club in shrewsbury called The Fridge (thats the on topic bit) I have suffered since way before then till now with a dicky tummy, crippling stomach ache and the shits. It gripped me one night and I had to make a hasty dart to the toilets in The Fridge, except the toilet door was hanging off, so in my agony, I refitted a toilet door and had to hover my arse over the khazi whilst I held it fast shut. My business done, I wandered out and heard Loaded by Primal Scream for the first time, imagine hearing that for the first time.

Then there was a similar experience at the double down saloon in las vegas, one toilet and one urinal in the same room, no lock on the door, was suffering with the shits when a man wandered in and took a piss next to me. 3rd greatest bar in the whole damn world though, cramps on the jukebox, cheap booze and awesome bar staff.

Finally even with my suffering, there has only been one toilet that I walked into and walked out, LA's Union Station, beautiful building inside and out, with toilets that make glastonbury toilets seem like heaven on earth.

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When I was 15/16, rather than cooking myself lunch, I opted to heat up an entire garlic bread out the freezer.

 

I ate the whole thing, then my brother rang me to see if I wanted to go to Dudley.. for some reason I said yes.

 

Any who, after a brief walk around Dudley, I had mad stomach cramps and needed to go quick sticks.

 

Luckily for me, there was a Mcdonalds in town where I went.  I pooped out what was essentially a whole no-frills garlic bread, bright yellow and vomit looking in apperance and saw there was no loo roll.. obviously.

 

So I call my brother on his mobile, tell him to grab a handful of napkins to bring me.  He does and I wipe.. and wipe and wipe and wipe until the toilet is basically full of sickshit and loo roll.

 

After my sweaty relief, I flushed, and of course, it didn't work.  So I left the small cubicle and the small toilet in a right state.

 

I took a photo after I heard a bloke coming out of it saying "**** me, someone call bomb squad"

 

13246466-1387993414-300x225.jpg

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I've shat myself in my sleep, at work twice, whilst paint-balling and whilst lying on my bed with my girlfriend after going out only a few weeks.

 

Never pissed myself though, so... *smug*

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The worst I have been was in a club in Indonesia... I had chronic squits, must have overdone it on the satay sauce. Ended up having 5 or 6 shits in the nightclub. It was quite a high end club (X2 club in Jakarta). It was that bad I paid the toilet attendant to reserve one of the toilet cubicles especially for me! He put an out of order sign on it! It was one of those occasions when I had no notice of when it would happen... i would suddenly get a pain and had to go within 20 seconds otherwise it would be dribbling down my leg. Cost me a chance of a shag with a lovely girl i met - I just couldn't risk shitting myself if I had sex with her  :(

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I would suddenly get a pain and had to go within 20 seconds otherwise it would be dribbling down my leg. Cost me a chance of a shag with a lovely girl i met - I just couldn't risk shitting myself if I had sex with her :(

If you had a twenty second window then you could have obviously had sex with her. Duhhhhhhh!

Bet you're gutted you didn't think of that at the time.

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