Stevo985 Posted January 21, 2015 VT Supporter Share Posted January 21, 2015 (edited) I've never shit in a public bathroom, apart from the ones at work, if that counts. I also had never used the toilet on an Aeroplane until last summer. Number 1 or Number 2 Edited January 21, 2015 by Stevo985 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
useless Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 (edited) Edit: . Edited January 21, 2015 by useless Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dAVe80 Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 (edited) Apologies for the shit related story, but I'm reminded of possibly the worst public toilet visit of my life. I'd just got back into London, having flown in after my holiday to Barbados (having been drinking red wine all flight), and had an hour or so to kill, until my train from Kings Cross back up North. I was in desperate need to use the toilet, so went into the Burger King over the road from the station, and found that the only lav was occupied. I was on the verge of touching cloth, so decided to risk a brisk walk to the McDonalds next door. When I got in there, I found although the toilet door was open, a member of staff was in there, and was pissing all over the toilet seat. In a rage I asked him, what the **** he was doing? He grunted at me, as he left. As I was at the "it has to happen now" stage, I covered the seat in loo roll, and sat down to do one of the biggest and and most foul smelling red wine shit of my life. After I'd finished, I walked out without flushing, and told the first member of staff I saw, that they might want to get the member of staff, who had been pissing all over the seat to clean it up. Edited January 21, 2015 by dAVe80 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seat68 Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 So we are talking toilet stories. Back in the late 80's, early 90's I spent some of the happiest weekends of my life at an indie club in shrewsbury called The Fridge (thats the on topic bit) I have suffered since way before then till now with a dicky tummy, crippling stomach ache and the shits. It gripped me one night and I had to make a hasty dart to the toilets in The Fridge, except the toilet door was hanging off, so in my agony, I refitted a toilet door and had to hover my arse over the khazi whilst I held it fast shut. My business done, I wandered out and heard Loaded by Primal Scream for the first time, imagine hearing that for the first time. Then there was a similar experience at the double down saloon in las vegas, one toilet and one urinal in the same room, no lock on the door, was suffering with the shits when a man wandered in and took a piss next to me. 3rd greatest bar in the whole damn world though, cramps on the jukebox, cheap booze and awesome bar staff. Finally even with my suffering, there has only been one toilet that I walked into and walked out, LA's Union Station, beautiful building inside and out, with toilets that make glastonbury toilets seem like heaven on earth. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post chrisp65 Posted January 21, 2015 Popular Post Share Posted January 21, 2015 is it ok to 'like' toilet stories? what's the etiquette there? anyway, my variation, which is a variation on a theme I organised a college party and was very nervous that it be a success. So nervous I went for a pre party pint, fell in with a bunch of random builders I didn't know and drank like a lunatic for about an hour or so. But in that time I was drinking pints and chasers as fast as I could. The upshot of which, I was paraletic drunk before the evening had really begun. For some reason I decided being seen that drunk that early and needing to puke really really needing to puke, would be uncool. So obviously, I jumped in a taxi to get home and be ill in private. By the time the taxi gets to my house I'm properly struggling to hold it all in. Chuck money at the cabbie, bound up the steps, key in door, leap up the stairs and kick open the bathroom door at the same time as projectile vomitting in the general direction of the toilet. My mum was on the loo. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 When I was 15/16, rather than cooking myself lunch, I opted to heat up an entire garlic bread out the freezer. I ate the whole thing, then my brother rang me to see if I wanted to go to Dudley.. for some reason I said yes. Any who, after a brief walk around Dudley, I had mad stomach cramps and needed to go quick sticks. Luckily for me, there was a Mcdonalds in town where I went. I pooped out what was essentially a whole no-frills garlic bread, bright yellow and vomit looking in apperance and saw there was no loo roll.. obviously. So I call my brother on his mobile, tell him to grab a handful of napkins to bring me. He does and I wipe.. and wipe and wipe and wipe until the toilet is basically full of sickshit and loo roll. After my sweaty relief, I flushed, and of course, it didn't work. So I left the small cubicle and the small toilet in a right state. I took a photo after I heard a bloke coming out of it saying "**** me, someone call bomb squad" 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paddywhack Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 I've shat myself in my sleep, at work twice, whilst paint-balling and whilst lying on my bed with my girlfriend after going out only a few weeks. Never pissed myself though, so... *smug* 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 Shit stories? Tell me more /voiny 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 The worst I have been was in a club in Indonesia... I had chronic squits, must have overdone it on the satay sauce. Ended up having 5 or 6 shits in the nightclub. It was quite a high end club (X2 club in Jakarta). It was that bad I paid the toilet attendant to reserve one of the toilet cubicles especially for me! He put an out of order sign on it! It was one of those occasions when I had no notice of when it would happen... i would suddenly get a pain and had to go within 20 seconds otherwise it would be dribbling down my leg. Cost me a chance of a shag with a lovely girl i met - I just couldn't risk shitting myself if I had sex with her 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morley_crosses_to_Withe Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 I would suddenly get a pain and had to go within 20 seconds otherwise it would be dribbling down my leg. Cost me a chance of a shag with a lovely girl i met - I just couldn't risk shitting myself if I had sex with her If you had a twenty second window then you could have obviously had sex with her. Duhhhhhhh! Bet you're gutted you didn't think of that at the time. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 I would suddenly get a pain and had to go within 20 seconds otherwise it would be dribbling down my leg. Cost me a chance of a shag with a lovely girl i met - I just couldn't risk shitting myself if I had sex with her If you had a twenty second window then you could have obviously had sex with her. Duhhhhhhh! Bet you're gutted you didn't think of that at the time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted January 21, 2015 VT Supporter Share Posted January 21, 2015 Further to an earlier post. Charlie Dimmock. Still would. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 Speaking of shit stories, im currently sat on the loo, scared to look at what sounded like a miniature version of niagra falls coming out of my arse.. Oh god, the smell [emoji37] [emoji37] [emoji37] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 breath it in, its good for your lungs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baselayers Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 You have bowel aids. Repent for your sins Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharkyvilla Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 I've shat myself in my sleep, at work twice, whilst paint-balling and whilst lying on my bed with my girlfriend after going out only a few weeks. Never pissed myself though, so... *smug* I have to admit I was unwell whilst backpacking in Australia so went to sleep I'm the middle of the day and woke up with a little bit of shit squelching in my underpants. I don't think I got any on the duvet but I hate to say I swapped it over with the Korean guy's duvet from the bunk below mine just in case. Probably the worst thing I have ever done in my life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 Got proper bad diarrhea. I'm so dehydrated I'm starting to look like a bran flake.. jesus h christ.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarewsEyebrowDesigner Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 hot. wanna skype xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meath_Villan Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 Got proper bad diarrhea. I'm so dehydrated I'm starting to look like a bran flake.. jesus h christ.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 hot. wanna skype xx pls b real Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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