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rjw63

Paddy's "Things that cheer you up"

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I would suddenly get a pain and had to go within 20 seconds otherwise it would be dribbling down my leg. Cost me a chance of a shag with a lovely girl i met - I just couldn't risk shitting myself if I had sex with her :(

If you had a twenty second window then you could have obviously had sex with her. Duhhhhhhh!

Bet you're gutted you didn't think of that at the time.

 

 

:(

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Speaking of shit stories, im currently sat on the loo, scared to look at what sounded like a miniature version of niagra falls coming out of my arse..

Oh god, the smell [emoji37] [emoji37] [emoji37]

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I've shat myself in my sleep, at work twice, whilst paint-balling and whilst lying on my bed with my girlfriend after going out only a few weeks.

 

Never pissed myself though, so... *smug*

I have to admit I was unwell whilst backpacking in Australia so went to sleep I'm the middle of the day and woke up with a little bit of shit squelching in my underpants. I don't think I got any on the duvet but I hate to say I swapped it over with the Korean guy's duvet from the bunk below mine just in case. Probably the worst thing I have ever done in my life.

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Got proper bad diarrhea. I'm so dehydrated I'm starting to look like a bran flake.. jesus h christ..

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lay off the bread dude, seriously, took me twenty years to realise that if I have more than a sandwich I am screwed.

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lay off the bread dude, seriously, took me twenty years to realise that if I have more than a sandwich I am screwed.

What now?

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Manage it, dont take in too much bread, pizza, lager, all the things that 20 years ago would wipe me out, about three years ago I worked out what it was. Changed that, so if I have a sandwich, I have one and not two, have other things.

I really had massive problems with my stomach, when I didn’t know what it was I missed days of holidays stuck in my room, missed countless bands at festivals, missed nights out. It was horrible. Still don’t know if it’s a problem with gluten, wheat, or something else.

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similar, I'm eating bread at the moment, due to financial necessity, it's so cheap and versatile, but it does have it's side effects. I do completely avoid pizza, pasta and lager if I can help it now though.

 

not literally at this moment. I don't know why I thought that was important to edit in here.

Edited by Rodders

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