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Parenting Corner: The joys and trials of raising little Villans


Marka Ragnos

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37 minutes ago, Davkaus said:

I said a few weeks ago my last good night's sleep was under a flightpath at Download. Still true. We've still got feeds throughout the night, with meds an hour before each feed, and a solid hour trying to settle her after the feed, during which she screams the house down. We must not be popular with the neighbours.

We've finally got a diagnosis causing the projectile vomiting and pain during feeds though, not simply reflux and she's going in for surgery next week, and they've warned us she'll be admitted for at least a few weeks to recover and for nutrition via IV to help catch her up a bit. Currently, she's smaller than 993 out of 1000 kids her age. Poor little thing is still in her up-to-1 month clothes and she's 9 months in a couple of weeks, and 6 months corrected, so even disregarding the prematurity, she's tiny

This is her 4th major surgery, it breaks my heart thinking of her living in the hospital for months ago, but there's just a little part of me relieved I'll get some **** sleep. Just hoping this is the turning point because every day we spend with her in too much discomfort to be on her tummy for most of the day, and too small to build her strength up, it feels like we might never catch up with the development milestones

All understandable mate - but she'll get there.  Try not to worry too much about development milestones etc; kids develop at different ages anyway.  Just focus on getting your girl (and you!) safe and well.

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Zen jr. is down stairs playing his Switch and raging like a Brexit tory backbencher with the vocabulary of a docker. I’m torn between pissing myself laughing and intervening. Certainly not living up to his old man’s VT username.

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We've had guests staying all weekend so the 5 year old slept on an airbed in our room last night. 

We woken up at 3am by him shouting at the top of his voice :

"No! I am not a monster!... You can't ask me if I have horns!" 

Absolutely no idea what he was dreaming. 

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Has anyone else had trouble with their kids deciding they don't like sports and don't want to do them anymore as they don't always win? 

Our son is the youngest in his year group and is small for his age. As such he's also the smallest and some of his class are considerably taller then him. Because of this he struggles with sports as every one is bigger and faster and he's lost all confidence as he keeps losing at stuff. Due to his age he's also a bit less focused and driven then some of his older classmates and this compounds the issues. 

He's refusing to go to football or rugby classes and we're not really sure how to help him rebuild his confidence here. We've tried talking to him and saying to focus on the fun and practicing will help him get better but he just doesn't want to do it at all. 

It would be a shame for him to miss out just because he's smaller as he used to enjoy it and he will eventually catch up physically. 

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1 hour ago, Rds1983 said:

Has anyone else had trouble with their kids deciding they don't like sports and don't want to do them anymore as they don't always win? 

Our son is the youngest in his year group and is small for his age. As such he's also the smallest and some of his class are considerably taller then him. Because of this he struggles with sports as every one is bigger and faster and he's lost all confidence as he keeps losing at stuff. Due to his age he's also a bit less focused and driven then some of his older classmates and this compounds the issues. 

He's refusing to go to football or rugby classes and we're not really sure how to help him rebuild his confidence here. We've tried talking to him and saying to focus on the fun and practicing will help him get better but he just doesn't want to do it at all. 

It would be a shame for him to miss out just because he's smaller as he used to enjoy it and he will eventually catch up physically. 

I WAS that kid. I absolutely hated sport at school, reinforced by sneering P.E. teachers. 

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13 minutes ago, mjmooney said:

I WAS that kid. I absolutely hated sport at school, reinforced by sneering P.E. teachers. 

If he didn't enjoy it that would be one thing but he has previously loved it. He's complaining now and wands to quit because he doesn't win. Not sure how to help him keep going at it so that he could find enjoyment again and either win in the future or realise that winning is not everything (as a hopeful future Villa fan this feels like an important lesson to learn). 

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2 hours ago, Rds1983 said:

If he didn't enjoy it that would be one thing but he has previously loved it. He's complaining now and wands to quit because he doesn't win. Not sure how to help him keep going at it so that he could find enjoyment again and either win in the future or realise that winning is not everything (as a hopeful future Villa fan this feels like an important lesson to learn). 

And a Villa fan? Got a tough road ahead of him... 

Trying to think of some sports where you don't actually "win" that'll at least keep him fit and active, maybe something more towards extreme sports like mountain biking that might also have the added bonus of being cool, maybe martial arts too and while probably not gymnastics but something like trampolining 

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1 hour ago, villa4europe said:

And a Villa fan? Got a tough road ahead of him... 

Trying to think of some sports where you don't actually "win" that'll at least keep him fit and active, maybe something more towards extreme sports like mountain biking that might also have the added bonus of being cool, maybe martial arts too and while probably not gymnastics but something like trampolining 

We're going to be starting junior karate in the next few weeks. Hopefully that'll help with his confidence a bit. 

He did a new football class today and said he enjoyed it and wants to go back so hopefully that'll continue. 

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2 hours ago, Rds1983 said:

We're going to be starting junior karate in the next few weeks. Hopefully that'll help with his confidence a bit. 

He did a new football class today and said he enjoyed it and wants to go back so hopefully that'll continue. 

My lads 7 and exactly the same mate. Small for his age and sucks at sports, although he has got better at football. We also started him on karate at 5, because of his size, as we didn't want him to get bullied when he is older, an as you say it also builds confidence. I can't say he loves going, but we have to get them into some out of school activity, whether football, swimming or like ours martial arts.

I'm not to concerned, an neither should we be, it's just a case of growing up I think. I mean Messi was a small lad so was jean Claude Van Damm and they seem to have done okay. 🙂

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Why do so many people (usually old women) feel it's perfectly acceptable to touch someone else's kids without asking or knowing them? Just been to the pub for dinner and the old lady on the table behind us stroked our sons head and rustled his hair for about 10 seconds when they were leaving. 

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On 06/09/2022 at 09:57, PieFacE said:

to sleeping on his own from 6pm to 6am and needing a couple of feeds in the night which is very manageable compared to how it was. 

Well, this was a golden moment in time. The above is no longer true and we're back to him waking up every hour and needing someone with him to sleep properly. It was a glorious 3 or 4 weeks tho. 

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On 13/09/2022 at 11:30, Rds1983 said:

Has anyone else had trouble with their kids deciding they don't like sports and don't want to do them anymore as they don't always win? 

Our son is the youngest in his year group and is small for his age. As such he's also the smallest and some of his class are considerably taller then him. Because of this he struggles with sports as every one is bigger and faster and he's lost all confidence as he keeps losing at stuff. Due to his age he's also a bit less focused and driven then some of his older classmates and this compounds the issues. 

He's refusing to go to football or rugby classes and we're not really sure how to help him rebuild his confidence here. We've tried talking to him and saying to focus on the fun and practicing will help him get better but he just doesn't want to do it at all. 

It would be a shame for him to miss out just because he's smaller as he used to enjoy it and he will eventually catch up physically. 

My lad used to like football, always having a kickabout with me. Now he's not interested as he doesn't like the physical contact/tackling aspect.

He now plays tennis and loves it (has lessons), he also goes to a gym 3 evenings a week for an hour, which he also loves.

Take whatever you want from that.

He's also on the autistic spectrum, those who aren't familiar with this, it makes this kind of thing more difficult.

I guess my point is not to worry

 

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On 08/09/2022 at 00:51, TheAuthority said:

My little one has been diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder. Trying to read up and find out. It sucks.

I've not heard of that one before, there's so many "things" that didn't used to exist back in the day.  It seems everything must have a label now, we've had 10 years of various experts saying various things about our son. It's only fairly recently we are getting a better idea of what they are on about. 

The hardest thing, is to accept that they are different, the only way I've managed to deal with that is to say it's his USP. 

He's different, embrace it. 

And I've really struggled with it over the years 

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42 minutes ago, sidcow said:

Daughter is 18 today. 

Tonight she's going into Town with her mates clubbing 😧

Been there and felt that worry mate. I have two daughters and my eldest is 24 and it is still hard when she goes out even now and she has moved out and has her own place. She always has to phone/text to let us know she is home safe no matter what time. 

I think it is far worse with daughters because as blokes we know what men are like. My youngest daughter is 16 and I am even more protective of her than I was with my eldest which has took some doing in fairness.  

You can relax and get some sleep when she is back home 🙂 

Edited by markavfc40
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