mjmooney Posted September 4, 2022 VT Supporter Share Posted September 4, 2022 9 hours ago, Xela said: I'd imagine at that point its more cost effective for one parent not to work and be a stay at home parent. Or call in the grandparents... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted September 4, 2022 VT Supporter Share Posted September 4, 2022 10 hours ago, Xela said: I'd imagine at that point its more cost effective for one parent not to work and be a stay at home parent. Yeah we’re not a million miles away. If we had 2 kids both in childcare then it would definitely cost more to put them into nursery than IDKWTCH would be bringing home. Really shouldn’t be that way Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bielesibub Posted September 4, 2022 Share Posted September 4, 2022 I've got 4! One 19, 13, 11, and 10. No wonder I'm ill! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Zen Posted September 4, 2022 Share Posted September 4, 2022 State subsidised childcare, reduced rates for low income households. Iz da way to go, man. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted September 4, 2022 VT Supporter Share Posted September 4, 2022 48 minutes ago, El Zen said: State subsidised childcare, reduced rates for low income households. Iz da way to go, man. Well, yes. Tell it to our bastard government. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Demitri_C Posted September 4, 2022 Share Posted September 4, 2022 1 hour ago, Stevo985 said: Yeah we’re not a million miles away. If we had 2 kids both in childcare then it would definitely cost more to put them into nursery than IDKWTCH would be bringing home. Really shouldn’t be that way It shouldnt. Childcare costs scares me. The nursey fees are like a mortgage. Then what happens in 20-25 years in the future- kids are going to potentially need 2 cars, 2 uni fees if they go, 2 homes etc. How the hell is anyone gonna afford that with the way things are now? Let alone in 20 years? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted September 4, 2022 VT Supporter Share Posted September 4, 2022 51 minutes ago, Demitri_C said: It shouldnt. Childcare costs scares me. The nursey fees are like a mortgage. Then what happens in 20-25 years in the future- kids are going to potentially need 2 cars, 2 uni fees if they go, 2 homes etc. How the hell is anyone gonna afford that with the way things are now? Let alone in 20 years? It’s more than a mortgage to be honest 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bielesibub Posted September 4, 2022 Share Posted September 4, 2022 We were fortunate enough that my wife could stay at home as I was doing well in my job. When we had our first child I think most of my wife's earnings went on his nursery care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted September 4, 2022 VT Supporter Share Posted September 4, 2022 2 hours ago, El Zen said: State subsidised childcare, reduced rates for low income households. Iz da way to go, man. Yep. And to be fair the government do a tax thing where they pay 20% of your childcare fees. But it’s “only” up to £500 every quarter. Which doesn’t even pay for half a month if your kid is in full time. When they turn 3 they get 30 free hours a week which makes it entirely more affordable. but still, it’s not enough 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villarule123 Posted September 4, 2022 VT Supporter Share Posted September 4, 2022 When they reach 3 and you get the 30 hours free care, it makes everything easier. Then when they start school, you basically get your life back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phily85 Posted September 4, 2022 Share Posted September 4, 2022 5 hours ago, villarule123 said: When they reach 3 and you get the 30 hours free care, it makes everything easier. Then when they start school, you basically get your life back. And at that sweet spot right there with twins was when the other half decided she wanted 1 more. Dont get me wrong love her to bits be we was so so close Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villarule123 Posted September 4, 2022 VT Supporter Share Posted September 4, 2022 You should have said no then My wife would have another one but I said I would run away and never come back if that was to happen. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Demitri_C Posted September 4, 2022 Share Posted September 4, 2022 (edited) 6 hours ago, villarule123 said: When they reach 3 and you get the 30 hours free care, it makes everything easier. Then when they start school, you basically get your life back. Do you? I think the stress levels get worse after that. You can control what happens up until that point. When they start school they start making their own choices, who they hang with, how they behave in class etc. Then after that becomes the very worrying stage when they get older and then start going out independently then your up at night worried until they get home. I feel so bad now for the all nighters i use to do for my folks Edited September 4, 2022 by Demitri_C Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villa4europe Posted September 4, 2022 Share Posted September 4, 2022 It's not just the cost of childcare it's that you then still need a degree of flexibility with whatever jobs you both have The amount of kindergarten time my daughter missed was crazy, one kid has a cold and it closes the place down let alone corona scares etc When they're at school they're still finishing at 3.30, the idea of us both having 9 to 5 office jobs has gone Fortunately the wife has 2 years parental leave, 1st year paid at 66%, 2nd year unpaid, £200 a month per child from ze German government Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
one_ian_taylor Posted September 4, 2022 VT Supporter Share Posted September 4, 2022 9 hours ago, villarule123 said: When they reach 3 and you get the 30 hours free care, it makes everything easier. Then when they start school, you basically get your life back. Never thought having summer babies would be an advantage in that respect, but compared with a September birthday, you have more or less a year less in nursery. We have 2 summer birthdays, so almost two years avoided fees, which is lucky as when the second starts they will easily outweigh the mortgage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Zen Posted September 5, 2022 Share Posted September 5, 2022 When would you say it’s okay for kids to get their own phone? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Posted September 5, 2022 Share Posted September 5, 2022 Just now, El Zen said: When would you say it’s okay for kids to get their own phone? It’s getting younger and younger. My daughter had one about 7 but I have an app on it to lock it down to any unsuitable sites or apps, and sends me a summary of what she’s using . You can set screen time limits and stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PieFacE Posted September 6, 2022 VT Supporter Share Posted September 6, 2022 On 03/09/2022 at 06:36, Mozzavfc said: @PieFacE @Stevo985 how are you doing with the Ferber method? Just to start with my 6 month old We actually gave up on it quite quickly. My other half wasn't comfortable with just leaving him crying which I understood as it wasn't exactly a walk in the park for me either. She also had the opinion that she thought it was better that one of us be there if he felt he needed us. I don't know enough about how babies develop to really argue against it so I just went with it as she felt quite strongly about it. But his sleep isn't too bad now, I think naturally he's just sleeping longer which is nice. He went from waking up every hour and needing someone there to sleeping on his own from 6pm to 6am and needing a couple of feeds in the night which is very manageable compared to how it was. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted September 6, 2022 Share Posted September 6, 2022 11 hours ago, El Zen said: When would you say it’s okay for kids to get their own phone? I've said when he starts high school to mine, but it'll probably be when he's in year 6, aged 10. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted September 6, 2022 VT Supporter Share Posted September 6, 2022 14 minutes ago, PieFacE said: sleeping on his own from 6pm to 6am Jesus christ. This must be amazing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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