rjw63 Posted December 23, 2020 Share Posted December 23, 2020 I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It's now really Hans free. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AJ Posted December 23, 2020 Share Posted December 23, 2020 21 minutes ago, rjw63 said: I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It's now really Hans free. Just don't do the opposite. I tried adding German names, and now I have to replace my phone. It went on the Fritz. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Troglodyte Posted December 24, 2020 VT Supporter Share Posted December 24, 2020 20 hours ago, AJ said: Just don't do the opposite. I tried adding German names, and now I have to replace my phone. It went on the Fritz. Something Otto be done to Dieter people from making these jokes. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted December 24, 2020 VT Supporter Share Posted December 24, 2020 28 minutes ago, Troglodyte said: Something Otto be done to Dieter people from making these jokes. Hans down, that's the wurst one so far. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StefanAVFC Posted December 24, 2020 Share Posted December 24, 2020 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Xela Posted December 27, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted December 27, 2020 I’ve been stuck behind a tractor all the way from Lichfield today with a guy on the back shouting “We’re all doomed. The end of the world is nigh!” Turns out it was Farmer Geddon. 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post theboyangel Posted December 27, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted December 27, 2020 22 minutes ago, Xela said: I’ve been stuck behind a tractor all the way from Lichfield today with a guy on the back shouting “We’re all doomed. The end of the world is nigh!” Turns out it was Farmer Geddon. 3 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Xela Posted December 27, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted December 27, 2020 16 minutes ago, theboyangel said: 1 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robtaylor200 Posted December 30, 2020 Share Posted December 30, 2020 My mates have got together to stage a party for Chinese New Year and Burns night. I had an invite and was going to say no. But they twisted my arm 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Salad Posted January 1, 2021 Share Posted January 1, 2021 (edited) Dave was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them." Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Dave, how about Tom Cruise?" "No dramas boss, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it." So Dave and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and Tom Cruise shouts, "Dave! What's happening? Great to see you! Come on in for a beer!" Although impressed, Dave's boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Dave that he thinks him knowing Cruise was just lucky. "No, no, just name anyone else," Dave says. "Former President Obama," his boss quickly retorts. "Yup," Dave says, "Old buddies, let's fly out to Washington," and off they go. They arrive at Obama's House and as they go to knock on the door Obama is just leaving, "Dave, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a beer first and catch up." Well, the boss is very shaken by now but still not totally convinced. After they leave he expresses his doubts to Dave, who again implores him to name anyone else. "The Pope," his boss replies. "Sure!" says Dave. "I've known the Pope for years." So off they fly to Rome. Dave and his boss are assembled with the masses at the Vatican's St. Peter's Square when Dave says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope." He disappears into the crowd headed towards the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later Dave emerges with the Pope on the balcony, but by the time Dave returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics. Making his way to his boss' side, Dave asks him, "What happened?" His boss looks up and says, "It was the final straw... you and the Pope came out on to the balcony and the man next to me said, 'Who the **** is that on the balcony with Dave?' Edited January 1, 2021 by Big Salad 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Follyfoot Posted January 1, 2021 VT Supporter Share Posted January 1, 2021 On 23/12/2020 at 14:55, Robtaylor200 said: Just had a decorator in to do some work, I was chatting to him and found out he is a British Airways pilot who's been furloughed and trying to make some extra cash He mad a lovely job of the landing Did you clap when he finished it 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sidcow Posted January 1, 2021 VT Supporter Share Posted January 1, 2021 2 hours ago, Follyfoot said: Did you clap when he finished it Another one for the things you don't get thread. Are we really living in a world where a pilot who has managed to land safely on the ground had done a good job? I actually think it's the absolute minimum requisite. Followed quite a long long way down the importance level by landing safely at the correct airport. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Follyfoot Posted January 1, 2021 VT Supporter Share Posted January 1, 2021 32 minutes ago, sidcow said: Another one for the things you don't get thread. Are we really living in a world where a pilot who has managed to land safely on the ground had done a good job? I actually think it's the absolute minimum requisite. Followed quite a long long way down the importance level by landing safely at the correct airport. There is only so many cups of coffee you can take to stop your hands shaking whilst in flight Couple that with some fairly decent Totty on view I’m surprised more do not end in fireballs 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brumerican Posted January 1, 2021 Share Posted January 1, 2021 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted January 1, 2021 Share Posted January 1, 2021 5 hours ago, sidcow said: Another one for the things you don't get thread. Are we really living in a world where a pilot who has managed to land safely on the ground had done a good job? I actually think it's the absolute minimum requisite. Followed quite a long long way down the importance level by landing safely at the correct airport. I think a lot is down to the type of people on the flight and the airline itself Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sidcow Posted January 1, 2021 VT Supporter Share Posted January 1, 2021 4 minutes ago, Xela said: I think a lot is down to the type of people on the flight and the airline itself What are you trying to say about me? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted January 1, 2021 Share Posted January 1, 2021 3 minutes ago, sidcow said: What are you trying to say about me? We all have to dumpster dive sometimes. I even once got a Ryanair flight. A bloke on the flight took his knob out in the aisle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sidcow Posted January 1, 2021 VT Supporter Share Posted January 1, 2021 10 minutes ago, Xela said: We all have to dumpster dive sometimes. I even once got a Ryanair flight. A bloke on the flight took his knob out in the aisle. Damn! I thought I had got away with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted January 2, 2021 Share Posted January 2, 2021 A man goes to his optician for his eye test... the optician asks " what can you see ? " the man responds " I can see empty airports, empty football stadiums, closed theatres and closed pubs..." "perfect" the optician replies " you've got 2020 vision" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Posted January 2, 2021 Share Posted January 2, 2021 53 minutes ago, Xela said: A man goes to his optician for his eye test... the optician asks " what can you see ? " the man responds " I can see empty airports, empty football stadiums, closed theatres and closed pubs..." "perfect" the optician replies " you've got 2020 vision" Uh oh, defender in a wheelie bin 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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