Robtaylor200 Posted November 30, 2020 Share Posted November 30, 2020 I brought the kids a Jigsaw last Christmas. Won't do that again. They had no bloody fingers left by dinner time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy Lifeboats Posted November 30, 2020 Share Posted November 30, 2020 Doctor - This couldn't happen at a worse time. Mercury is in Uranus. Patient - I don't believe in astrology. Doctor - Neither do I. The thermometer broke. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted November 30, 2020 Moderator Share Posted November 30, 2020 53 minutes ago, Mandy Lifeboats said: Doctor - This couldn't happen at a worse time. Mercury is in Uranus. Patient - I don't believe in astrology. Doctor - Neither do I. The thermometer broke. Ahem 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Designer1 Posted December 1, 2020 VT Supporter Share Posted December 1, 2020 I was so embarrassed that my wife caught me playing with my kid's train set that I threw a bedsheet over it. I think I managed to cover my tracks. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sidcow Posted December 1, 2020 VT Supporter Share Posted December 1, 2020 It would be lovely to one day come onto this thread and actually read a joke Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted December 1, 2020 VT Supporter Share Posted December 1, 2020 1 hour ago, sidcow said: It would be lovely to one day come onto this thread and actually read a joke Don't get it. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post El Zen Posted December 1, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted December 1, 2020 2 minutes ago, mjmooney said: Don't get it. It would have been better without the punchline but to give you a hint, it means a lot. 2 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sidcow Posted December 1, 2020 VT Supporter Share Posted December 1, 2020 15 minutes ago, mjmooney said: Don't get it. Don't get it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
It's Your Round Posted December 1, 2020 Share Posted December 1, 2020 44 minutes ago, mjmooney said: Don't get it. 28 minutes ago, sidcow said: Don't get it. The relationship thread is still open, I’m sure there’s handy tips there to help you fellas... even at your ages. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted December 1, 2020 VT Supporter Share Posted December 1, 2020 3 hours ago, It's Your Round said: The relationship thread is still open, I’m sure there’s handy tips there to help you fellas... even at your ages. Ahhh, now I get it. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted December 2, 2020 Moderator Share Posted December 2, 2020 19 hours ago, mjmooney said: Ahhh, now I get it. It's working already. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robtaylor200 Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 Lad at work said he used to be a lumberjack, I asked how many trees he thought he had cut down He said he knew exactly 27,634, I asked how can you be so precise ? He said He kept a log 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted December 5, 2020 Share Posted December 5, 2020 A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The very slow wife picked up the phone, listened a moment and said "How should I know? That's 200 miles from here!" and hung up. The husband said "Who was that?" The wife answered "I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear". 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Designer1 Posted December 9, 2020 VT Supporter Popular Post Share Posted December 9, 2020 To the bloke in the wheelchair who stole my camo suit, you can hide but you can't run. 5 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Salad Posted December 9, 2020 Share Posted December 9, 2020 Just finished reading an excellent book called “Fights on a Narrowboat" by R.G. Bargee. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AVFC_Hitz Posted December 9, 2020 Share Posted December 9, 2020 14 minutes ago, Big Salad said: Just finished reading an excellent book called “Fights on a Narrowboat" by R.G. Bargee. @Mandy Lifeboats 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sidcow Posted December 9, 2020 VT Supporter Share Posted December 9, 2020 On 10/10/2020 at 21:18, sidcow said: I was walking down the street yesterday with my camouflage jacked draped over my shoulder. Suddenly this one legged man grabbed it off my shoulder and went hopping down the road with it. I shouted at him "You can hide, but you can't run" 5 hours ago, Designer1 said: To the bloke in the wheelchair who stole my camo suit, you can hide but you can't run. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Designer1 Posted December 9, 2020 VT Supporter Share Posted December 9, 2020 1 hour ago, sidcow said: 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Robtaylor200 Posted December 10, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted December 10, 2020 My Columbian mate was so pleased that his wife had given birth to twin boys Emall and Juan. He only carries a a picture of Juan Because once you've seen Juan Is it better without the punch line ? 6 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted December 10, 2020 VT Supporter Share Posted December 10, 2020 52 minutes ago, Robtaylor200 said: My Columbian mate was so pleased that his wife had given birth to twin boys Emall and Juan. He only carries a a picture of Juan Because once you've seen Juan Is it better without the punch line ? Is Emall even a name? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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