veloman Posted December 24, 2016 Share Posted December 24, 2016 Two little boys are discussing what they would like for Christmas. The first one says, "I would like a trainset but don't know if I'll get one" Second boy says, " I'm having a puppy for Christmas, they're keeping it in their bedroom" " how do you know?" says first one. Second replies, "'Cos the other morning I heard Dad say - Grab hold of it , it won't bite you !" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LxYoungAVFC Posted January 5, 2017 Share Posted January 5, 2017 (edited) What's the similarity between american beer and having sex on a canoe? Both are f****** close to water! Edited January 5, 2017 by LxYoungAVFC 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LxYoungAVFC Posted January 5, 2017 Share Posted January 5, 2017 (edited) edit: double post Edited January 5, 2017 by LxYoungAVFC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted January 5, 2017 Share Posted January 5, 2017 18 minutes ago, LxYoungAVFC said: edit: double post Classic!!! Mind if I steal for FB? 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xann Posted January 26, 2017 Share Posted January 26, 2017 Viagra comes in eye drop form now. Makes you look hard. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 "I've got some good news and some bad news" the doctor says. "What's the bad news?" asks the patient. "The bad news is that unfortunately you've only got 3 months to live". The patient is taken aback ."What's the good news then, Doctor?". The doctor points over to the receptionist at the front desk "You see that blonde with the big breasts, tight ass and legs that go all the way up to heaven?" The patient nods his head and the doctor replies "I'm **** her". 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 A deaf couple get married. During the first week of marriage, they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom when they turn off the lights because they can't see each other using sign language. After several nights of fumbling around and misunderstandings the wife decides to find a solution. "Honey" she signs "Why don't we agree on some simple signals? For instance, at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach over and squeeze my left breast one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my right breast one time. " The husband thinks this is a great idea and signs back to his wife "Great idea, now if you want to have sex with ME, reach over and pull on my cock one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and pull on my cock ... fifty times" 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
V01 Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 That's literally older than mooney. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 I'm **** now Sikipedia has disappeared Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
V01 Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 A male patient is lying in a hospital wearing an oxygen mask, A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath. "Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?". Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet.". He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?". Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other. She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine." The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very closely: Are - my - test - results - back?" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stuart_75 Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 On 27/01/2017 at 20:08, rjw63 said: I'm **** now Sikipedia has disappeared http://www.sickipedia.net/ Been back a while but doesnt seem as good. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 1 hour ago, stuart_75 said: http://www.sickipedia.net/ Been back a while but doesnt seem as good. Ha! Cheers mate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 And... I just had a quiet wank under the sheet. Hope my hairdresser didn't notice. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post mjmooney Posted January 30, 2017 VT Supporter Popular Post Share Posted January 30, 2017 Paddy McCoy, an elderly Irish farmer, received a letter from the Department for Work & Pensions stating that they suspected he was not paying his employees the statutory minimum wage and they would send an inspector to interview them. On the appointed day, the inspector turned up. "Tell me about your staff," he asked Paddy. "Well," said Paddy, "there's the farm hand, I pay him €240 a week, and he has a free cottage. Then there's the housekeeper. She gets €190 a week, along with free board and lodging. There's also the half-wit. He works a 16 hour day, does 90% of the work, earns about €25 a week along with a bottle of whisky and, as a special treat, occasionally gets to sleep with my wife." "That's disgraceful" said the inspector, "I need to interview the half-wit." "That'll be me then," said Paddy. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AJ Posted February 4, 2017 Share Posted February 4, 2017 How is KFC like sex? After you are done with the breast and thighs, you put the greasy bone in the box. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post theboyangel Posted February 4, 2017 Popular Post Share Posted February 4, 2017 5 minutes ago, AJ said: How is KFC like sex? After you are done with the breast and thighs, you put the greasy bone in the box. That reminds me of an old fast show Swiss tony quote. "Camping is like making love to your old lady. First you put up the pole, you open the flaps and then you slide into the old bag" 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sidcow Posted February 4, 2017 VT Supporter Share Posted February 4, 2017 Aston Villa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Posted February 4, 2017 Share Posted February 4, 2017 25 minutes ago, sidcow said: Aston Villa Whilst a joke I agree, not a funny one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginko Posted February 5, 2017 Share Posted February 5, 2017 Did you know dogs can't operate an MRI? But catscan. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enda Posted February 6, 2017 Share Posted February 6, 2017 What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? Trump wouldn't pay $1000 to have a lentil on his face. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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