Designer1 Posted July 14, 2016 VT Supporter Share Posted July 14, 2016 On 13/07/2016 at 15:06, NeilS said: My friends metal band are pretty new, and have just released their first album. To help promote the new album the record label arranged for them to do a small tour of Europe. Thankfully the record company arranged the roadies to set up the bands gear on tour, there was a Polish guy, a French guy and a Czech one to. I'm nicking that 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomaspg Posted July 14, 2016 Share Posted July 14, 2016 On 2016-07-13 at 16:06, NeilS said: My friends metal band are pretty new, and have just released their first album. To help promote the new album the record label arranged for them to do a small tour of Europe. Thankfully the record company arranged the roadies to set up the bands gear on tour, there was a Polish guy, a French guy and a Czech one to. read the joke like five times now, still dont get it. someone please explain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginko Posted July 14, 2016 Share Posted July 14, 2016 (edited) 'Czech one too' is a play on 'Check, one-two' which is what roadies do into the microphones during a sound check at a gig to check if they are loud enough, distorted etc. Essentially to see that they're working properly and the levels are correct. Edited July 14, 2016 by Ginko Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomaspg Posted July 14, 2016 Share Posted July 14, 2016 23 minutes ago, Ginko said: 'Czech one too' is a play on 'Check, one-two' which is what roadies do into the microphones during a sound check at a gig to check if they are loud enough, distorted etc. Essentially to see that they're working properly and the levels are correct. ahhh, all makes sense now cheers bud! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Ryan. Posted July 14, 2016 Popular Post Share Posted July 14, 2016 A man walks into a bar. He gets a beer and helps himself to the nuts on the bar. He then starts hearing voices "ooooh what lovely soft hands". Bemused he finishes his beer and goes the toilet, he then hears more voices "haha what a small todger", he storms out and asks the barman what's going on. He explains "the peanuts are complimentary, the toilets are out of order." 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
useless Posted July 14, 2016 Share Posted July 14, 2016 A vulture boards a plane carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess says, "I'm sorry, but we only allow each passenger one carrion." 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
useless Posted July 14, 2016 Share Posted July 14, 2016 You can't phone anyone if they haven't got a phone, so what's the best invention since the telephone? The second telephone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rds1983 Posted July 14, 2016 VT Supporter Share Posted July 14, 2016 Why in Game Of Thrones do the Lannisters have such big beds? Because they push two twins together to make a king. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted July 15, 2016 VT Supporter Share Posted July 15, 2016 10 hours ago, useless said: A vulture boards a plane carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess says, "I'm sorry, but we only allow each passenger one carrion." 9 hours ago, useless said: You can't phone anyone if they haven't got a phone, so what's the best invention since the telephone? The second telephone. You went from hero to zero here! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted July 15, 2016 Share Posted July 15, 2016 Man organizes a fancy dress party for his friends, the theme being "A Human Emotion" That night, a knock on the door.. A woman dressed all in pink, with "ha ha ha" written all over her. "Tickled pink! Great costume, come on in!" Knock on the door. A man with a red face but covered in green. "Hmm.. Green with envy, right?" "yep!" "Haha, nice work! Come on in" Knock on the door. 2 rasta's, stark bollock naked, one with his knob in a bowl of custard, the other with his knob in fruit. "What the **** have you come as!?" First guy says; "Well mon', I'm ****' disgusted, and he's come in dispair" 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post BOF Posted July 15, 2016 Moderator Popular Post Share Posted July 15, 2016 Non-joke alert. I can't be the only one whose mind tries desperately to read ahead using its peripheral vision to spoil the joke I'm reading. To the point I have to scroll the punchline off the end of the page 'til I'm ready to view it? 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted July 15, 2016 VT Supporter Share Posted July 15, 2016 2 minutes ago, BOF said: Non-joke alert. I can't be the only one whose mind tries desperately to read ahead using its peripheral vision to spoil the joke I'm reading. To the point I have to scroll the punchline off the end of the page 'til I'm ready to view it? Every. Single. Time. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted July 15, 2016 VT Supporter Share Posted July 15, 2016 17 minutes ago, lapal_fan said: Man organizes a fancy dress party for his friends, the theme being "A Human Emotion" That night, a knock on the door.. A woman dressed all in pink, with "ha ha ha" written all over her. "Tickled pink! Great costume, come on in!" Knock on the door. A man with a red face but covered in green. "Hmm.. Green with envy, right?" "yep!" "Haha, nice work! Come on in" Knock on the door. 2 rasta's, stark bollock naked, one with his knob in a bowl of custard, the other with his knob in fruit. "What the **** have you come as!?" First guy says; "Well mon', I'm ****' disgusted, and he's come in dispair" That's brilliant! Although I'm unsure why they have to be Rastas? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted July 15, 2016 Moderator Share Posted July 15, 2016 I think the mispronunciation works better or cleaner in their (presumably Jamaican) accent. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted July 15, 2016 Share Posted July 15, 2016 I'm **** dis-custard. And he's cum-in-dis-pear. BEER CAN MON! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted July 15, 2016 Share Posted July 15, 2016 Actually, that reminds me of the time I told that joke to @Rob182. I couldn't remember the punchline after telling him the set up.. and I said something along the lines of "I'm sure it's something like "put his knob in a pudding"" And because they were rasta's, he said "is it, cum in this black pudding?" I cried for days, and have belly laughed for the last 3 minutes. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dont_do_it_doug. Posted July 15, 2016 Share Posted July 15, 2016 5 hours ago, lapal_fan said: Actually, that reminds me of the time I told that joke to @Rob182. I couldn't remember the punchline after telling him the set up.. and I said something along the lines of "I'm sure it's something like "put his knob in a pudding"" And because they were rasta's, he said "is it, cum in this black pudding?" I cried for days, and have belly laughed for the last 3 minutes. Knowing how much Rob HATES puns, he was probably trying desperately to find a punchline that was anything but a play on words. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob182 Posted July 15, 2016 Share Posted July 15, 2016 If I remember our exact conversation @lapal_fan it got to the bit where the person said "What have you come as?", and as you couldn't remember the punchline, I said "black pudding?" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
useless Posted July 16, 2016 Share Posted July 16, 2016 Cannonballs what do cannonballs eat for dinner baked beings Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post mjmooney Posted July 16, 2016 VT Supporter Popular Post Share Posted July 16, 2016 I have CDO. It's basically OCD, but with the letters in the correct order. 11 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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