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WAHEY! It's a JOKE thread : Enter at your own risk.


villadude

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I was driving through Small Heath on a match day trying to find a DIY store. 

I pulled alongside a Blues fan and asked "Is there a B and Q in Birmingham?"

"There's definitely a B but I'm not sure about Q. It's a big word."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tumbleweed enters stage left........

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My dad got me a dictionary for my birthday.

"Why did you get me this?" I asked.

He said "Because you're stupid". Then for his birthday I got him a dildo.

"Why did you get me this?" he asked.

I said "Because you're a word removed"

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I was walking past a mental hospital today  and from behind some wooden railings I could hear lots of people shouting '13 , 13 , 13 , 13 ' . So I looked through and someone poked me in the eye with a stick and suddenly they all started shouting '14    14  14 14 '.  

Edited by veloman
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Lad from 'Ooop North lost his wife and had to sort out funeral arrangements. Stone Mason said' " What do ya want on headstone Lad" Lad thinks a minute and  says " I think I'll have 'She was Thine' ". Stone mason makes a note. Couple of weeks later lad goes to churchyard to look at grave and to his horror the headstone says "She was Thin" He rushes home and phones stone mason. "You've missed the 'e' of my wife's headstone" he says. Stone mason apologizes and assures him he will correct it. Lad goes back 2 weeks later to find the headstone says .....

" EEEE she was thin ".

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10 hours ago, rjw63 said:

A woman gives birth, and a nurse takes the baby into an adjacent room to clean it up. She re-enters and approaches the mother, the babe wrapped up in a towel in her arms.

"Congratulations" she says. "It's a healthy baby girl". As she says this, she accidentally drops the baby, which promptly lands right on its squishy noggin.

"My baby!" screams the mother.

"Don't worry, I'll get it!" smiles the nurse. However, she unfortunately stumbles and places her foot right on the baby's face, before accidentally kicking it across the room. It hits the wall with a sickening crack before the nurse runs over to it, peels it off the floor and throws it out of the window.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" yells the mother.

"April Fool" replies the nurse. "It was already dead".

Cheltenham Teachers' Training College rag mag, 1974

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