The_Rev Posted August 12, 2012 Share Posted August 12, 2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voinjama Posted August 12, 2012 Share Posted August 12, 2012 Two OAP's are enjoying oral sex together when the old man says "I can't stay down there for too long, it stinks!" The old lady replies "Sorry it's my arthritis". The man replies "Arthritis in your fanny?". "No" says the old lady "The arthritis is in my shoulder, I can't wipe my arse." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wainy316 Posted August 17, 2012 Share Posted August 17, 2012 Robin Van Persie's house has been set on fire. The police are suspecting it's Arsene. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meath_Villan Posted August 17, 2012 Share Posted August 17, 2012 Robin Van Persie's house has been set on fire. The police are suspecting it's Arsene. robbed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted August 18, 2012 Share Posted August 18, 2012 I see the Aussies didn't do very well in the Olympics, but then if they could run, they wouldn't have been Australians in the first place. ------------ The Sailing results are in. GB took the Gold, USA took the Silver, Somalia took a middle aged couple from Weymouth. ------------- The Romanians have taken Gold, Silver and Bronze... and copper and lead, and any other metal they can get their thieving hands on Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villaajax Posted August 18, 2012 Share Posted August 18, 2012 Olympic jokes? That is so last week... Still funny though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voinjama Posted August 18, 2012 Share Posted August 18, 2012 Robin Van Persie's house has been set on fire. The police are suspecting it's Arsene. 2006 wants its joke back. Was first done with Ashley Cole when he left Arsenal for Chelsea. And now every time a player leaves Arsenal on bad terms or against Wengers wishes it is used. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Risso Posted August 18, 2012 Share Posted August 18, 2012 All religions are vile, especially when practised by zealots, but Islam is up there with the worst of the lot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bickster Posted August 18, 2012 Moderator Share Posted August 18, 2012 All religions are vile, especially when practised by zealots, but Islam is up there with the worst of the lot. Wrong thread alert Risso Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ingram85 Posted August 18, 2012 Share Posted August 18, 2012 All religions are vile, especially when practised by zealots, but Islam is up there with the worst of the lot. I dont get it???? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villaajax Posted August 18, 2012 Share Posted August 18, 2012 Well I agree with Risso, religion does belong in the jokes thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ingram85 Posted August 19, 2012 Share Posted August 19, 2012 Definition of brave: going down on a festival girl on a Sunday Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villanmike Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 My sex change operation, from male to female, went really well yesterday. In fact, it was so successful, I'm still trying to reverse out of the Hospital car park... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dante_Lockhart Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 Definition of brave: going down on a festival girl on a Sunday :shock: :| Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Demitri_C Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 One morning a woman was walking out of her front door, when she notices a strange little man at the bottom of her garden. "You're a goblin," she says, "I caught you and you owe me three wishes!". So the goblin replies "OK, you caught me fair and square, what's your first wish?". The woman stops and thinks for a second, "I want a huge mansion to live in.", goblins replies "OK, you've got it.". Woman again thinks it over, "My second wish is a Mercedes." "OK, you've got that too." "My last wish is a million dollars!". The goblin then says "OK, you've got it. But to make your wishes come true you have to have sex all night with me." "OK then, if that's what it takes..." Next morning the little man wakes the woman up. "Tell me," says the man, "how old are you?" "I'm 27", she replies "**** me", says the man, "27 and you still believe in goblins" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Demitri_C Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 There are four kinds of sex : HOUSE SEX - When you are newly married and have sex all over the house in every room. BEDROOM SEX - After you have been married for a while, you only have sex in the bedroom. HALL SEX - After you've been married for many, many years you just pass each other in the hall and say "**** YOU" COURTROOM SEX - When your wife and her lawyer **** you in the divorce court in front of many people for every penny you've got. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ingram85 Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 My wife is pissed off with me again, last night whilst she was fast asleep I gently removed her tampon and replaced it with a party popper while carefully leaving the string hanging out enough for her to pull. I tell you, shes got no **** sense of humour at all! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ingram85 Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 My deaf girlfriend was talking in her sleep last night. She nearly took my **** eye out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rodders Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 ^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kidlewis Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 After the fringe one liners a classic is What's worse than finding a maggot in your apple? Being raped! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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