The Hung Like a Donkey General Election December 2019 Thread

[lapal_fan]

So the Boris advert seems to be appealing to the women in my office, "isn't that clever?", "I love that movie".

Still, they seemed not to actually like him, they prefer his dad because of the jungle.  

[StefanAVFC]

2 minutes ago, lapal_fan said:

So the Boris advert seems to be appealing to the women in my office, "isn't that clever?", "I love that movie".

It's apt he chose the bit of the film where the bloke is trying to get his best mate's wife to leave him.

[Davkaus]

14 minutes ago, lapal_fan said:

So the Boris advert seems to be appealing to the women in my office, "isn't that clever?", "I love that movie".

Still, they seemed not to actually like him, they prefer his dad because of the jungle.  

I wonder if the milkman costume was for their benefit as well.

[Wainy316]

49 minutes ago, lapal_fan said:

So the Boris advert seems to be appealing to the women in my office, "isn't that clever?", "I love that movie".

Still, they seemed not to actually like him, they prefer his dad because of the jungle.  

Show them this version...

https://twitter.com/PoliticsJOE_UK/status/1204502930877009920

Edited December 11, 2019 by Wainy316

[choffer]

 

 

[HanoiVillan]

 

[peterms]

 

[villa4europe]

guilty as charged, I've hidden in one in a thermal coat too for a lot longer than 5 minutes

[desensitized43]

8 hours ago, Davkaus said:

I know it's The Mirror, but this is amazing.

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/politics/breaking-boris-johnson-hides-fridge-21070803

Surprised he didn't try to put the camera crew in his pocket.

Of all the things he's done (or not done) over this campaign I think this is the only one where I can 100% back him. 

I'd rather staple my scrotum to the floor than speak to Piers Morgan.

[HanoiVillan]

Meet Miriam Cates:

She's likely to be winning the seat of Penistone & Stocksbridge tomorrow night for the Tories (Angela 'Funny Tinge' Smith's old seat). She represents the sort of enterpreneurial zeal that is surely the best of the Conservative Party - she's worked out a way to create both the demand and the supply!

Tory Candidate Faces Questions Over App That Charged Food Banks Hundreds of Pounds

'A Conservative party candidate is facing questions over whether she sought to profit from Britain’s hunger crisis with an app that charged food banks hundreds of pounds to promote lists of items they need from donors.

Miriam Cates, who is standing in the marginal Penistone and Stocksbridge constituency in South Yorkshire, launched the Foodbank app in 2014 through her company Redemption Media, which she runs with her husband, Dave, Novara Media has learned.

The app charged food banks a £360 subscription fee for two years and allowed them to post “shopping lists” for people interested in donating, according to its website.'

more on link: https://novaramedia.com/2019/12/11/tory-candidate-faces-questions-over-app-that-charged-food-banks-hundreds-of-pounds/

[peterms]

 

[sharkyvilla]

7 hours ago, bickster said:

Matt Hancock looks like the bloke at work that no one likes and no one talks to... unless they have to. A little bit odd and doesn't quite fit in. The sort of person that was desperate to be a prefect at school because he might get some friends

One suspects he'll be requiring chemical castration at some point

In some ways he's one of the few MPs I admire for his sheer spinelessness and willingness to go on camera and take any shite thrown at him for the cause.  

[chrisp65]

2 hours ago, peterms said:

 

 

1 hour ago, villa4europe said:

guilty as charged, I've hidden in one in a thermal coat too for a lot longer than 5 minutes

 

Yep, I’ve hidden in a fridge to have a rest.

Important to sit cross legged on the floor with some bags or boxes so if someone comes in you can wave one in the air and say ‘look at the bloody date on this! Coulda killed someone!’

I’ve also been shut in fridge with 3 members of the Sharks helicopter display team. That was quite a night.

[peterms]

5 minutes ago, chrisp65 said:

I’ve also been shut in fridge with 3 members of the Sharks helicopter display team. That was quite a night.

Well don't leave it there, man!  We want the full story.

[HanoiVillan]

This is basically a PSA for that one poster on here who loves polishing his rocket over Tories (sorry, can't remember who it was):

Ruth Davidson pledges to SKINNY DIP in Loch Ness if SNP win 50 seats in election

'Former Scottish Conservative leader Ruth Davidson has pledged to go skinny dipping in Loch Ness if the SNP win 50 seats at the General Election.

However, she said she is making the pledge safe in the knowledge "that my modesty (and others' eyeballs) will remain unmolested" as she does not think that will happen.

Davidson said that conditions are "markedly different" from 2015 when the SNP took 56 seats.

Writing in The Telegraph , she said the nationalists have been keen to talk up the possibility of winning 50 seats .

She said: "I will happily wager to strip naked on the banks of Loch Ness and subject myself to a Hogmanay wild swimming session should such a result occur, safe in the knowledge that my modesty (and others' eyeballs) will remain unmolested."'

more on link: https://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/politics/ruth-davidson-pledges-skinny-dip-21071065

[chrisp65]

1 minute ago, peterms said:

Well don't leave it there, man!  We want the full story.

Edited headlines:

Royal Navy helicopter display team, staying in the hotel where I was working on my own as night watch / night porter.

They’d been knocking about in jeans n tees all day but to go out on the razz in the night they all changed in to flight jumpsuits!

When they got back, they refused to use the door, I had to go get a ladder so they could get in through an upstairs window.

They worked out there were three bars and one of me.

They then took over the kitchen to ‘make snacks’.

They had a cauliflower eating competition in the cold store - I had to be the referee.

Next day, second biggest cash tip I ever received, a proper roll of notes!

[peterms]

 

[ml1dch]

 

I'm sure any comment on the picture would probably be libellous, so I'll keep schtum. 

[hippo]

Rumours the postal votes look very bad for labour.

I think we could have something close to a Tory landslide. A majority of 70 for Boris wouldn't be a surprise for me.

[StefanAVFC]

1 minute ago, hippo said:

Rumours the postal votes look very bad for labour.

I think we could have something close to a Tory landslide. A majority of 70 for Boris wouldn't be a surprise for me.

How could anyone know this? It's illegal to give any indication of them.