A'Villan Posted August 29, 2020 Share Posted August 29, 2020 (edited) 2 hours ago, Jimzk5 said: I'm sure readers of this thread will know I've had a rough time lately, but things have got a whole lot better just lately I'm splitting up with my wife, after talking through the myriad of issues in both our lives we came to the same conclusion that separation was the best for both of us and the root cause of our issues is the fact mother of us were happy and haven't been for a long while, we've put our house up for sale, our daughter (age 6) knows what's happening as we've sat and discussed what's happening with her, she was upset at first but was excited about being able to have sleep overs at mommy and daddys different houses, our youngest (age 3) is too young to understand but will find out in time. I'm genuinely looking forward to the next stage of my life right now, and theres no bitterness in the end of the marriage, it's just not working out and never will but the children are the forefront of everything for both of us Wishing you a lifetime of friendship with your two blessings, they are gifted to have a father who understands the concept of fatherhood, as opposed to simply being a father. Your three year old will have understanding, don't underestimate that, while unable to articulate the experience, absorbing the world around and her/him is what she/he does best at this stage of the journey. You may be surprised to know that what happens during this stage plays a pivotal role in forming and shaping the belief construct for what's possible, available, and even to be expected for their own future later on in life. It's a great thing that you've left the relationship somewhat amicably and by keeping the dialogue open and inclusive. More power to you. Sincerely wishing you all the best as you step into the next chapter. Edited August 29, 2020 by A'Villan 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Xela Posted August 29, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted August 29, 2020 This may seem trivial to other peoples problems but over the last 5 or so months that i've been at home working every day, and limiting my time outside, my flat got into a bit of a state. Not dirty as in leaving dirty plates on the floor or not taking the rubbish out, but just messy. Leaving washing up to build up over days and then not putting the plates away, not dusting or hoovering very often and not mopping the kitchen/bathroom floors very much. As a result it started to get me down but rather than doing anything about it, I just made a half hearted attempt and gave up. As a result I was in a constant cycle of feeling down about it. I won't say depressed as thats a too strong a word. However last week, I resolved to sort it out. Rather than attempt it all in one day, I was just going to concentrate on one room at a time over a day or two and do it that way. Break it down into manageable tasks. One week later and its looking a lot better. Its given me a huge lift mentally as well. My main bathroom ,which was a mess is now looking crisp and clean again. Its white floor and bath tiles, a white bathroom suite and white walls so you can imagine how grubby that can look fairly quickly. I even treated and removed the mould that had built up in the silicone sealant around the bath and grout between the tiles. I'm not naturally a tidy person, but i've resolved to stay on top of it now. Wash and dry up after every meal and regularly clean. Its amazing how a clean living environment can make you feel better. 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Designer1 Posted August 29, 2020 VT Supporter Share Posted August 29, 2020 (edited) Edit. Edited August 29, 2020 by Designer1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Designer1 Posted August 29, 2020 VT Supporter Share Posted August 29, 2020 23 hours ago, Jimzk5 said: I'm sure readers of this thread will know I've had a rough time lately, but things have got a whole lot better just lately I'm splitting up with my wife, after talking through the myriad of issues in both our lives we came to the same conclusion that separation was the best for both of us and the root cause of our issues is the fact mother of us were happy and haven't been for a long while, we've put our house up for sale, our daughter (age 6) knows what's happening as we've sat and discussed what's happening with her, she was upset at first but was excited about being able to have sleep overs at mommy and daddys different houses, our youngest (age 3) is too young to understand but will find out in time. I'm genuinely looking forward to the next stage of my life right now, and theres no bitterness in the end of the marriage, it's just not working out and never will but the children are the forefront of everything for both of us As someone who has met you in real life (and thought you were a good bloke) it's really good to see you're getting to a more positive place. Hopefully this will be the start of a much better phase in your life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisp65 Posted August 29, 2020 Share Posted August 29, 2020 19 minutes ago, Xela said: This may seem trivial to other peoples problems but over the last 5 or so months that i've been at home working every day, and limiting my time outside, my flat got into a bit of a state. Not dirty as in leaving dirty plates on the floor or not taking the rubbish out, but just messy. Leaving washing up to build up over days and then not putting the plates away, not dusting or hoovering very often and not mopping the kitchen/bathroom floors very much. As a result it started to get me down but rather than doing anything about it, I just made a half hearted attempt and gave up. As a result I was in a constant cycle of feeling down about it. I won't say depressed as thats a too strong a word. However last week, I resolved to sort it out. Rather than attempt it all in one day, I was just going to concentrate on one room at a time over a day or two and do it that way. Break it down into manageable tasks. One week later and its looking a lot better. Its given me a huge lift mentally as well. My main bathroom ,which was a mess is now looking crisp and clean again. Its white floor and bath tiles, a white bathroom suite and white walls so you can imagine how grubby that can look fairly quickly. I even treated and removed the mould that had built up in the silicone sealant around the bath and grout between the tiles. I'm not naturally a tidy person, but i've resolved to stay on top of it now. Wash and dry up after every meal and regularly clean. Its amazing how a clean living environment can make you feel better. I definitely find it’s easy to slip in to being lethargic about things like that, it’s just plain boring I think might be the root of the problem. But yes, you’re right, it can be a definite mood changer to actually sort it out and get stuff squared up. This place is never a wreck, but I’m a bugger for not quite putting things back in the right place, usually, just next to the right place! Why put a plastic bottle in the recycling when I can put it on the worktop directly above the recycling bin! So once I get off my arse and start tidying up, I really don’t mind it. Been squaring up the garden today and I’d grudgingly admit, I ended up enjoying it. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mottaloo Posted August 30, 2020 Share Posted August 30, 2020 7 hours ago, Xela said: My main bathroom ,which was a mess is now looking crisp and clean again. So, you have TWO bathrooms eh....? What's your other one like ? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted August 30, 2020 Share Posted August 30, 2020 3 hours ago, mottaloo said: So, you have TWO bathrooms eh....? What's your other one like ? The visitors bathroom is fine... as I never have visitors! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinker Posted September 19, 2020 VT Supporter Share Posted September 19, 2020 Had some bad news today , someone I used to know took their own life. I feel devastated and I hadn't met them for 40 years plus. The hole left is unmeasurable. Life is so precious.....can't help asking myself why? I hope i will never know the answer to that question, RIP to all those lost desperate people who haven't the will to carry on. I don't need sympathy, their mother, father , wife and children do. Witnessing the devastation of it all is a life changing experience. Posting this just incase someone is in this position atm, take a chance and talk to someone , don't think no one cares because they do, you just have to ask for help. RIP D 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Dodgyknees Posted September 30, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted September 30, 2020 Anybody else find the barrage of negative news and toxicity exhausting? I have decided to deactivate my social media for a few weeks, I just find it hard to constantly see so much bad stuff. 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blandy Posted September 30, 2020 Moderator Share Posted September 30, 2020 9 minutes ago, avfcDJ said: Anybody else find the barrage of negative news and toxicity exhausting? I have decided to deactivate my social media for a few weeks, I just find it hard to constantly see so much bad stuff. Yeah, sometimes. When. I do I just stop watching, listening, reading it. It works. Always. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dodgyknees Posted September 30, 2020 Share Posted September 30, 2020 Just now, blandy said: Yeah, sometimes. When. I do I just stop watching, listening, reading it. It works. Always. Using the time to read a few books I’ve had waiting for me. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted October 1, 2020 Share Posted October 1, 2020 22 hours ago, avfcDJ said: Anybody else find the barrage of negative news and toxicity exhausting? I have decided to deactivate my social media for a few weeks, I just find it hard to constantly see so much bad stuff. Yup. Knocked social media on the head years ago. The world is ten times worse now! So glad i'm away from it. An occasional browse on Twitter or even reading some of the stuff in the bolitics threads on here depresses me. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dodgyknees Posted October 1, 2020 Share Posted October 1, 2020 25 minutes ago, Xela said: Yup. Knocked social media on the head years ago. The world is ten times worse now! So glad i'm away from it. An occasional browse on Twitter or even reading some of the stuff in the bolitics threads on here depresses me. My job means I need to be on there, but honestly, I think I might just find a different way. Drives me mad. You wouldn't believe the things I read each day from the 'Karen' types who send messages being nasty about vulnerable people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ferguson1 Posted October 1, 2020 Share Posted October 1, 2020 Struggling a bit. Tired, fed up with people and life at present. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
knoppy1987 Posted October 1, 2020 Share Posted October 1, 2020 2 hours ago, ferguson1 said: Struggling a bit. Tired, fed up with people and life at present. Everything is compounding at the moment. I try my best to make the most of the simple things in life; those things that have been around forever, and some that are traditional. Tonight I walked and the full moon was spectacular. In the clear sky I spotted a shooting star, and this was all after having fish, chips and mushy peas after work from a van that stops in the area every Thursday evening. There are fascinating things around us constantly, it may just take a bit of imagination. I hope things pick-up for you. 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted October 2, 2020 Share Posted October 2, 2020 16 hours ago, knoppy1987 said: Everything is compounding at the moment. I try my best to make the most of the simple things in life; those things that have been around forever, and some that are traditional. Tonight I walked and the full moon was spectacular. In the clear sky I spotted a shooting star, and this was all after having fish, chips and mushy peas after work from a van that stops in the area every Thursday evening. There are fascinating things around us constantly, it may just take a bit of imagination. I hope things pick-up for you. Woah there with the optimism chet.. you'll be called a happy-clapping show off around here with those kinda happy thoughts. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rodders Posted October 2, 2020 Share Posted October 2, 2020 21 hours ago, Xela said: Yup. Knocked social media on the head years ago. The world is ten times worse now! So glad i'm away from it. An occasional browse on Twitter or even reading some of the stuff in the bolitics threads on here depresses me. I haven't yet pulled fully away, but definitely turn them off come election times at least. I think there's an app for twitter which switches the comments off, which sounds excellent though. The absolute pits there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post NurembergVillan Posted November 2, 2020 Moderator Popular Post Share Posted November 2, 2020 What's my experience of mental health? Essentially, this... This is my most candid interview ever. Some of it's funny, a lot of it's football, there are parts that are new to even some of my closest friends. If you do listen, I hope it brings you some enjoyment and maybe some comfort too... 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dodgyknees Posted November 2, 2020 Share Posted November 2, 2020 1 hour ago, NurembergVillan said: What's my experience of mental health? Essentially, this... This is my most candid interview ever. Some of it's funny, a lot of it's football, there are parts that are new to even some of my closest friends. If you do listen, I hope it brings you some enjoyment and maybe some comfort too... I’ve got this bookmarked for after work. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chindie Posted November 2, 2020 VT Supporter Share Posted November 2, 2020 4 hours ago, NurembergVillan said: What's my experience of mental health? Essentially, this... This is my most candid interview ever. Some of it's funny, a lot of it's football, there are parts that are new to even some of my closest friends. If you do listen, I hope it brings you some enjoyment and maybe some comfort too... I've been listening to this while working this afternoon. 2 takeaways immediately - Rob doesn't sound anything like I thought. It's a bloody good listen. As someone who is, mentally, a **** basketcase who goes to pains to hide and avoid it, to the severe detriment of my life, it's good to hear someone who is very open about their struggles despite being at the top of their game. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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