What is your experience of mental health?

[KentVillan]

10 hours ago, bannedfromHandV said:

Makes you wonder how often he was on soccer Saturday pissed up too (or at least under the influence).

I wasn’t expecting to see that scene last night, I think a lot of people from both sides of the equation would be able to relate to it.

And fair play to Merse cos many many people wouldn’t have said anything particularly to Razor Ruddock

I honestly think this is the power of the 12 programs. Recovering addicts have that awareness of what other addicts are doing, and don’t brush it under the carpet or make excuses for people.

”Normal” drinkers / users don’t always appreciate what’s going on - they see a health problem, definitely, but they don’t always see what’s happening inside that person’s head.

I finally got round to watching this today, and it had me in tears to be honest. You can see Razor has just surrounded himself with enablers and hangers on for decades and has dug himself into a pantomime geezer hole, and it took massive balls for Merson to call him out on it like that.

One of the hardest things on the road to recovery is working out who the negative influences on your life are - the ones who refuse to be a positive influence - and ditching them. Not always easy when the positive influences are the ones saying very difficult things about your character.

[A'Villan]

Keep your coins, I want change.

Restarted my volunteer work with the homeless. Before I would work an 11pm-7am shift once a fortnight for the Salvation Army in a shelter/cafe where we had between 2-5 staff and volunteers combined on the floor or in the kitchen, and over 100 homeless set up a bed in our space overnight, with hundreds walking through the door for a feed overnight. Thankfully I am now only doing one shift per week that goes for 1-2 hours and we have adequate numbers of volunteers for the amount of homeless who gather for our BBQ's. I'm considering returning to the Salvation Army on a once a month basis because I know how much of a nightmare it can be for the staff and volunteers there, but also for other reasons which I won't bore you with.

I remember learning one day that we had done a survey of Melbourne's homeless and over 70% reported child sex abuse. What struck me, more than the sheer numbers of child sexual abuse, is oftentimes, in the mainstream and among common folk, the mentality is that being homeless is a lifestyle choice, that these people did and are doing it to themselves. Now, that to me these days, is almost like saying to a child that has been raped, "you did it to yourself". And that is deplorable and despicable. As with the law, ignorance is no excuse.

My experience of mental health among the homeless, is that they know they are being shortchanged, and spat on in the process, and that's exactly why they are oftentimes miserable.

[A'Villan]

Thanks for writing back @NurembergVillan, pleasure chatting with you. I've left you another DM when you get around to it. Cheers.

[A'Villan]

I'm giving a talk on mental health to university students who have aspirations of becoming clinicians this coming Tuesday, and in late July I will give a talk on mental health to students from a girls high school. My word. Have you ever seen those people who incessantly ramble on to nobody but the wind in the street, distressed and out of touch? I was pretty much there for a time. Only difference between me and those people was I'd never do it in the street, fortunately, because I didn't live on the streets at that point in time, but alone in my room, in the small backyard of the inner city home I had. Night and day, I'd spend hours on end living in pain and turmoil talking aloud about tragedy and never triumph. Honestly, I've never experienced death so can't really speak for it, but it might just be kinder than that sort of experience I mention. There's an eternal feeling of suffering, and when you're in that space, there's really nothing else, it's infinite and all consuming. At least death, from my place of ignorance on the subject, has a finality to it where we cease to experience. I've come a long way VT. Thanks for being part of that journey by the way. I just want to say to anyone who is in the midst of it, whatever it may be for you. You are beautiful and you are powerful beyond measure. It's a sad indictment on this world that our perceptions and beliefs about what constitutes for beauty and power are so pigeonholed and limited for the most part, that we just can't see it in ourselves, or others. And behold, beauty is lost, as it is no longer in the eye of the beholder. Consider that if you are willing and able. 

"Even though we survive through the struggle that made us, we still look at ourselves through the eyes of people that hate us"

"The ultimate sin, is to be ashamed of your skin"

[lapal_fan]

4 hours ago, A'Villan said:

I'm giving a talk on mental health to university students who have aspirations of becoming clinicians this coming Tuesday, and in late July I will give a talk on mental health to students from a girls high school. My word. Have you ever seen those people who incessantly ramble on to nobody but the wind in the street, distressed and out of touch? I was pretty much there for a time. Only difference between me and those people was I'd never do it in the street, fortunately, because I didn't live on the streets at that point in time, but alone in my room, in the small backyard of the inner city home I had. Night and day, I'd spend hours on end living in pain and turmoil talking aloud about tragedy and never triumph. Honestly, I've never experienced death so can't really speak for it, but it might just be kinder than that sort of experience I mention. There's an eternal feeling of suffering, and when you're in that space, there's really nothing else, it's infinite and all consuming. At least death, from my place of ignorance on the subject, has a finality to it where we cease to experience. I've come a long way VT. Thanks for being part of that journey by the way. I just want to say to anyone who is in the midst of it, whatever it may be for you. You are beautiful and you are powerful beyond measure. It's a sad indictment on this world that our perceptions and beliefs about what constitutes for beauty and power are so pigeonholed and limited for the most part, that we just can't see it in ourselves, or others. And behold, beauty is lost, as it is no longer in the eye of the beholder. Consider that if you are willing and able. 

"Even though we survive through the struggle that made us, we still look at ourselves through the eyes of people that hate us"

"The ultimate sin, is to be ashamed of your skin"

[Stevo985]

Anyone heard from @kurtsimonw recently?

I've whatsapp'd him a couple of times over the past week but not had any reply. His last few tweets were really sad but unfortunately I didn't see them for about a week. 

His whatsapp did say online over the weekend, I spotted it once late on Saturday. But he hasn't read my messages or replied.

 

Which is fine. He doesn't have to. Just hoping he's ok

[rjw63]

@Rugeley Villa has disappeared again too.

[Stevo985]

On 08/07/2020 at 21:48, Stevo985 said:

Anyone heard from @kurtsimonw recently?

I've whatsapp'd him a couple of times over the past week but not had any reply. His last few tweets were really sad but unfortunately I didn't see them for about a week. 

His whatsapp did say online over the weekend, I spotted it once late on Saturday. But he hasn't read my messages or replied.

 

Which is fine. He doesn't have to. Just hoping he's ok

Over a week since I whatsapped him now. Still nothing.

I'm really worried

[Genie]

It’s a difficult time for a lot of people for sure. Hope the VT’ers are managing in their own way. 

[Jimzk5]

I'm really struggling tonight, first time in a few months I've thought about ending it, I went out and did my job as normal but driving between every delivery I contemplated driving into a wall in the hope it would be over

 

[theboyangel]

Just now, Jimzk5 said:

I'm really struggling tonight, first time in a few months I've thought about ending it, I went out and did my job as normal but driving between every delivery I contemplated driving into a wall in the hope it would be over

 

Jim, please do not do anything to harm yourself. Pick up the phone and speak to someone - a loved one, a friend or even the samaritans. 

 

 

[Jimzk5]

1 minute ago, theboyangel said:

Jim, please do not do anything to harm yourself. Pick up the phone and speak to someone - a loved one, a friend or even the samaritans. 

 

 

I wont, it's the first time in months I've felt like this, its **** horrible

 

[Stevo985]

On 11/07/2020 at 12:49, Stevo985 said:

Over a week since I whatsapped him now. Still nothing.

I'm really worried

Kurt finally replied. He's ok. Not in a good place and very fed up but he's ok

Edit: I don't mean to put his personal stuff on here so if he sees this I'm sorry, Kurt! Just thought after my previous posts people might be worried so wanted to assure them you were ok

Edited July 12, 2020 by Stevo985

[lapal_fan]

Found out a guy I worked with recently hung himself in a plant room.

Can't stop thinking about his mental state at the time.  Trust me when I say it would have been meticulously planned, to find somewhere high enough and strong enough to take his weight.

No children (that I know of), but a long term partner.

I'd describe him as somewhat of a grumpy bloke in his general demeanour, but polite and considerate when talking to him.  Recently had a few months off work with a bad hip, came back around Xmas time and looked better.

I'm very glad for his colleagues that they didn't find him, security did, but a number of them are badly affected and are taking time off.

You never know what people are going through, so be kind

[Jimzk5]

On 13/07/2020 at 19:32, lapal_fan said:

Found out a guy I worked with recently hung himself in a plant room.

Can't stop thinking about his mental state at the time.  Trust me when I say it would have been meticulously planned, to find somewhere high enough and strong enough to take his weight.

No children (that I know of), but a long term partner.

I'd describe him as somewhat of a grumpy bloke in his general demeanour, but polite and considerate when talking to him.  Recently had a few months off work with a bad hip, came back around Xmas time and looked better.

I'm very glad for his colleagues that they didn't find him, security did, but a number of them are badly affected and are taking time off.

You never know what people are going through, so be kind

You never know what is going on, depression is horrible

 

[Chindie]

In a former job, when I was really struggling, I can always remember one moment very vividly with a colleague.

At the time I was getting to the end of my tether. Every day was a constant struggle. I was miserable. I felt like I was struggling at work a bit and didn't feel at all comfortable with a lot of what I was doing regardless of my mental state otherwise. I was basically dreading every day and I was constantly on edge and never relaxed during the day, and either side I was a complete wreck - this was at the height of the time were I was struggling so badly I was regularly getting into work after spending the trip screaming at myself, literally, that if I didn't get to work I was going to slash my wrists when I got home. During the day I was sat doing the job terrified the phone would ring and a client would have a query I couldn't answer or, worse, answer wrongly, dreading every email in case it was the next disaster. Getting home stupidly late and going to bed having very straight considerations of what I was going to do when the time comes - where's best to take the pills; would that take my weight...?

In the midst of this, during one of these standard horror days, I had to refer something to a senior colleague to get their opinion. This wasn't a particularly close colleague but they worked with our team a couple of days a week, and I'd been on a client visit with them once (a nightmare that only I knew, the same as every work trip), and we worked together on a few clients. I mentioned that I was concerned about this case and a bit worried about how to approach it and wanted their thoughts.

'What, Mr Cool Calm and Collected, worried?!'

...

Be kind, for everyone walks a hard path.

[Villan_of_oz]

Sometimes it is comforting to be able to come on here and say what I want and nobody knows who I am.

I've spent pretty much my whole life battling depression, and people who know me tell how great a job I do, but I think I'm pretty weak because really I just want to lay down and not wake up.

I have a wife, kids, house and job so I know I should be happy, but I'm not really.

I don't really like the 'world' and often ponder what's the point of my life, other than providing for my family. 

If I wouldn't hurt anyone, my check out would be imminent.

Don't want to alarm anyone, so be assured because I would hurt people I'm not going anywhere.

Apologies for my mutterings, it does help a little to share it as opposed to thoughts bouncing around in my head on repeat.

I can see there are a few on here doing it tough. Anyone can message me on here at anytime, I don't have any answers but I will listen to anyone if they want. 

Take care!

Edited July 21, 2020 by Villan_of_oz

[lapal_fan]

5 hours ago, Villan_of_oz said:

Sometimes it is comforting to be able to come on here and say what I want and nobody knows who I am.

I've spent pretty much my whole life battling depression, and people who know me tell how great a job I do, but I think I'm pretty weak because really I just want to lay down and not wake up.

I have a wife, kids, house and job so I know I should be happy, but I'm not really.

I don't really like the 'world' and often ponder what's the point of my life, other than providing for my family. 

If I wouldn't hurt anyone, my check out would be imminent.

Don't want to alarm anyone, so be assured because I would hurt people I'm not going anywhere.

Apologies for my mutterings, it does help a little to share it as opposed to thoughts bouncing around in my head on repeat.

I can see there are a few on here doing it tough. Anyone can message me on here at anytime, I don't have any answers but I will listen to anyone if they want. 

Take care!

Finding contentment is very difficult when we're wired to be competitive and are socially conditioned and in a culture where who earns more usually means success/better things. 

I have periods where I'm livid at people I know doing "better" than me, and then I just go stand outside or watch something nice on TV and it's gone.  

I suppose you need to ask yourself what it is you want to achieve in life and then see if that's possible?  If it is, getting to the place will give you the feeling of well being which is something I think we all crave to some degree. 

[Vive_La_Villa]

My negative and dark thoughts have been really getting to me lately, especially in the mornings where it’s quite extreme. So decided to return to medication for last 2 days as it’s always helped me in the past. It’s really hit me for 6. I know it’s like this for first few days but it’s really affecting my work and home life even more. Now I don’t know what to do.  Do I persist and put life on hold for a week or two whilst I get past the side affects or do I just stop them again and try and continue without. 

My partner wants me to stop taking them again and try and do without as I’ve managed without for 3-4 months now. But it’s been a horrible 3-4 months mentally!  I wish I could hide away. 

Exercise helps but it’s so hard to find motivation and energy. 

[Villan_of_oz]

2 hours ago, Vive_La_Villa said:

My negative and dark thoughts have been really getting to me lately, especially in the mornings where it’s quite extreme. So decided to return to medication for last 2 days as it’s always helped me in the past. It’s really hit me for 6. I know it’s like this for first few days but it’s really affecting my work and home life even more. Now I don’t know what to do.  Do I persist and put life on hold for a week or two whilst I get past the side affects or do I just stop them again and try and continue without. 

My partner wants me to stop taking them again and try and do without as I’ve managed without for 3-4 months now. But it’s been a horrible 3-4 months mentally!  I wish I could hide away. 

Exercise helps but it’s so hard to find motivation and energy. 

Hi mate,

I choose to do it tough without medication but that is just my choice and I wouldn't want to advocate either way. 

I don't feel right giving advice on whether to take medication or not just based on your post.

If you want to chat with someone feel free to message me, but either way hang in there. These are tough times and all of us that suffer with mental illness are being pushed even further than normal.